Page 19 of Like First Love, Again

Shaking her head, Tori couldn’t tamp down her smile. She thought of the daylilies that had vexed her dad’s pandemic efforts to plant an herb garden. No matter what he did, he couldn’t eradicate all the bulbs. Every time he thought he’d gotten them all, a green stalk would shoot up somewhere, quickly followed by a bright orange bloom. Shade or full sun, it didn’t matter. The damn things even grew in a rocky patch of sand at the edge of the canal behind the house. They were relentless. Tori sighed. Inevitable.

Tori:I’m agreeing to come over on official realtor business. Not to hang out.

Mia:Sorry, I can’t hear you. I’m away from my phone and in the shower.

At the unexpected new level of Mia’s absurdity, Tori laughed. A real, straight from the gut, laugh.Jesus. She was losing her fucking mind.

Tori:Is this Mia’s assistant answering the phone for her? You know, it would be great if you could just email me those executed forms.

Mia:My apologies. That’s outside my job description.

Still laughing, Tori’s thumbs were moving faster than her brain.

Tori:Is your only job to text on Mia’s behalf while she’s indisposed?

Mia:Yes. Very niche. Mia says to hurry up. She misses you.

The sentiment was a quick jab to Tori’s sternum. It seeped in through her skin and dripped into her chest. Tori swallowedhard like that might push her heart out of her throat. When that didn’t work, she fled to outrun the heat rushing over skin.

Tori dashed back upstairs to change. She forced herself to stop thinking about the text while she pulled on some loose white shorts and a thin gray T-shirt. After doing her best to define the waves in her hair despite the humidity that would obliterate them when she stepped outside, she pulled on her sunglasses.

It was too early to go to Mia’s house. Tori was telling herself that, but then her mother called three times to add to Tori’s growing list of stuff to pick up for the barbecue, and she found herself parked in Mia’s driveway.

She was just going to pop in and pick up the forms and get on with her day. That was it. Now that she had three different spots to hit before heading to her parents’ place, she had plenty to do before her whole family arrived for lunch.

Just stopping by. She didn’t even have to step inside the house. Didn’t have to leave the front step. Nope.

This time, Tori knocked on the door and refused to try the handle. Her miscalculated attempt at self-preservation became obvious the moment it swung open.

Hair wet from the shower and in nothing but an oversized T-shirt, Mia’s face was flushed and her smile was effervescent. She looked at her like Tori was Santa dive-bombing down the chimney with everything on her wishlist.

“Hi,” Mia said after a beat, voice hoarse like she hadn’t spoken to anyone but her that morning.

Tori snatched that fact and hoarded it like a starving animal. She planned to ask Mia for the signed forms, but Mia’s expression softened and her hazel eyes seemed to grow with years worth of unspoken feelings.

“Are we going to be okay?” Mia’s voice was laced with uncertainty. With hope she held so lightly like she was afraid toset it down, she added, “I… What you told me last night. I barely slept thinking about it.” She barreled forward so fast, Tori didn’t get a chance to answer her. “Actually, I’m glad Ashley Mora has a huge mouth and apparently doesn’t know how to mind her own damn business?—”

Tori laughed, a sudden rush of nervous energy leaving her body. “Why are you so mad at Ashley?”

Mia’s narrowed gaze was the pulse dancing in Tori’s throat, the flutter returning to her tense stomach.

“Oh my God!” Mia crossed her arms over her chest. “Why are you suddenly obsessed with her? What are you? In the market for a new best friend?”

Suddenly unsure what she used to do with her hands before Mia sauntered back into her life, Tori slipped them in her pockets and rocked on her heels.

“Is that too much?” Mia asked, a flicker of doubt in her eyes. “Am I being too pushy?” She scratched the back of her neck. “You know, more than my usual and incredibly endearing and encouraging self?” She ventured the tiniest smile before doubt clouded her pretty face again. “I mean, now that it’s all out in the open, I was hoping we could, like, start over?” Her laugh was a nervous gurgle that made Tori’s stomach clench. “Well, notall the wayoverbecause I still know more about you than freaking Ashley Mora—you know, gay thing notwithstanding.”

Mia’s brightening cheeks and eyes projecting blinding hope made Tori take a step back. She should decline whatever the hell Mia was offering. Rekindling their old friendship—with the expectations and attachments that went with it—was more than just seeing her a few times to get a house sold. Tori shouldn’t get pulled back into Mia’s orbit and she should definitely not walk back in willingly, like an idiot.

But things were different now. She wasn’t a confused kid figuring out who she was. And she wasn’t keeping any secretsthis time. At least not in the present. That had to count for something. Had tochangesomething.

The lie Tori was telling herself thundered in the pounding in her chest and the churning in her gut. No. She didn’t have feelings for Mia anymore. Not real ones. She was confusing the rush of seeing her after so long with something more. Something that just wasn’t there for either of them.

She could do this. It was just a few weeks and then Mia was going back home. Tori could be her friend while she needed her, and then Mia would just fade back to her real life. Standing in the summer heat with Mia’s eyes on her, she couldn’t choose self-preservation. Couldn’t reach for anything but surrender.

“Are you going to let this Ashley thing go?”

Mia’s broad smile was the sun prickling the back of her neck. The sweat beading on the small of her back. The erratic beating of her heart.

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