Page 22 of Like First Love, Again

“Here, mi amor.” Rita handed her another stack of paper plates to throw away.

Mia held open the huge garbage bag nearing capacity. “When we finish this table, I’ll go grab another bag.”

“I wanted to take a minute, now that we’re alone.”

By the soft tone Mia was tired of hearing—the tone that preceded wide glistening eyes and bled with pity—Mia knew what Rita was going to say. Her stomach churned, pushing the taste of garlic into her throat.

“I’m so sorry about your mom.” Rita’s words were gentle, like she was trying not to startle a feral cat. They landed like a jab to the gut just the same. “Grisel was such a force. When Tori told me?—”

“The food was amazing.” Mia cut her off, desperate to avoid the undertow of grief threatening to drag her under. She forced a smile that felt like cheap plastic stretched over bone. It was the best imitation she could offer on short notice. “I don’t know how I’m going to go back to life without home cooking.”

Rita’s expression was so full of love and sympathy, it made Mia want to fold herself small enough to fit in her arms. Instead, she busied herself with gathering empty beer bottles and heading to the big trash can on the side of the house.

“I’m surprised Tori agreed to leave you behind,” Rita said when they moved on to emptying the leftovers and melted ice from huge coolers. “You’ve only been back together for what? A week? And already you’re inseparable.” She chuckled to herself and pulled the stopper from one of the coolers, letting water spill onto the patio stones.

“In so many ways, it’s like nothing ever changed.” Mia opened a second cooler and started pulling out cans. “In other ways… Tori has grown into such a different person.”

“You know she’s not one for the mushy stuff, but I can see that she’s so happy to have you back in her life. That time after high school was tough, but I knew she’d get over the crush. I knew that you two would find each other again.”

Mia reached for years of experience working in the hospital and made her face a mask. Expressionless while Rita kept talking, Mia repeated the wordcrushin her head. All at once, the past rearranged itself like a kaleidoscope shifting into focus. A thousand little moments clicked into place with jarring clarity.

Tori had a crush on me?

Eleven

Mia’s house had never felt more overwhelming than it did on Sunday morning after a restless night’s sleep. No matter what she tried, Mia couldn’t think about anything other than a single word.

Crush.

Rita had dropped it so casually. It was like she’d expected Mia to know. Like Mia and Tori had talked about it and had a good laugh about old times. A strange sensation stirred in her gut.

Annoyance? Jealousy? She couldn’t tell, but she was getting sick of everybody knowing things about Tori that she didn’t. She was sick of feeling clueless. They’d been so close. How could Tori not confide in her about anything and everything?

Mia was sure that if the situation had been reversed, she’d have told Tori everything. Shedidtell her everything—or pretty close to it. Mia was pacing her kitchen, wondering how she could be so self-centered that she didn’t notice these things about Tori, when her doorbell rang.

The moment the sound chimed, Mia remembered what she’d forgotten. When her entire worldview was different two daysago, she’d told Daniela to come over for coffee on Sunday morning.

Glancing at her phone before she headed for the door, Mia’s stomach heaved. After dropping her off last night and sending the requisite got-home-safe confirmation text, Tori hadn’t texted her this morning. Had Rita gotten to her already? It was obvious that Rita didn’t think she was telling Mia anything new. Mia didn’t want Tori to feel embarrassed or upset. There was nothing to feel bad about?—

The doorbell chimed again and Mia forced herself to answer it.

“I brought pastelitos,” Daniela said, a big brown box in one hand and a carrier with two coffees in the other.

“Wasn’t I supposed to make you coffee?” Mia greeted her with a kiss to the cheek and relieved her of the insulated cups.

“I know you don’t have anything like King of Pastry in your sad little gray town,” she joked. “Gotta get it while you can.”

Mia couldn’t argue—even if Daniela’s reminder of her return home sounded ominous. Instead, she led Daniela to the living room where they plopped down across from each other on the couch. After talking about Daniela’s extravagant wedding plans for a seaside ceremony and the honeymoon through Western Europe to follow, the conversation drifted to Tori.

“I can’t believe you guys haven’t seen each other since high school.” Daniela tossed a mini ham croqueta in her mouth and pulled one of her legs onto the couch. “You look as inseparable as you always did.”

“When did you find out Tori was gay?” Mia’s question bounded out of her mouth before she’d fully considered it. She was so off-kilter.

Daniela sipped her cafe con leche. “Considering the all-girl school sitch, I was really expecting more sapphic reveals.” When she realized Mia was asking a genuine question, Danielashrugged. “Girl, I don’t know. A heck of a lot later than you found out.” She paused as if searching her memory. “Maybe like ten years ago?”

“She told you?” Mia’s stomach heaved.

“No. My cousin dated her ex-girlfriend. But I mean… I wasn’t shocked.” She chuckled. “What’s the big deal?”

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