Page 26 of Like First Love, Again

“Nope.” Tori clicked through a dozen unread messages without seeing them. She just needed to focus. To slip back intothe groove she’d carved for herself, the comfortable routine that didn’t include getting emotionally eviscerated before breakfast.

“So it’s about Mia then.” Larissa crossed one long leg over the other, hands resting on her lap. “She the reason you weren’t here bright and early, like the adorable little rooster you are?”

Tori locked Larissa in her gaze and turned the temp in her voice down to icy. “Don’t you have work to do?”

“Yeah, but watching you squirm is way more entertaining.” Larissa’s playful tone softened. “You know you can’t keep running from this conversation forever.”

“Watch me.” Tori tossed back a forced smile and picked up the folder.

Alone again, she tried to lose herself in work. But she couldn’t think about contracts or deals. She’d done the right thing fourteen years ago. Hadn’t she? Creating distance had been the only way to survive loving someone who could never love her back. Why did she still feel like shit?

Tori closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her pounding temples. All she could see was the hurt in Mia’s eyes. Her voice cracking played on a loop in Tori’s mind. The sound was haunting.

Tori’s chest was on fire. Her instincts had served her so well for so long, and now she wasn’t sure about anything. Had no idea what to do next.

The dangerous truth was that she wanted Mia back. There wasn’t a person on the planet who made her feel so much like herself. Mia was the only person she never needed a break from. Never wanted to be apart from. She didn’t have to recharge her social battery after being with her—Mia was high voltage plugged straight into her veins. Why did everything with her have to be so easy?

Dropping her head to the desk, she groaned. What should she have done instead? Remain in unrequited love for her entirelife? She’d made the best bad choice. How could she have known she’d misjudged the cost?

“Looks like I’m right on time,” Larissa said when she walked in.

Tori didn’t take her head off the desk.

Larissa sat down, and Tori stared at her shoes through the glass. No one else could rock Doc Martens with a suit. Larissa would never end up a pathetic heap in her office.

“The straight ones will get you every time,” she offered like it was a thing people said. “That’s why I put together a speed dating thing for you.”

At the ridiculous suggestion, Tori popped her head up. “What?”

Larissa looked at her smart watch. “You have three hours to turn that sad sack smile upside down.”

Head pounding anew, Tori raised her brows. “Did you put out a big light in the sky to summon all your former suitors?”

Larissa laughed. “I sent a few texts to some people who sent a few texts,” she admitted. “In a couple of hours, a dozen eligible sapphics will mingle while waiting their turn to meet you.”

“That sounds like a lovingly handcrafted nightmare,” she joked. “Thank you for trying to play Cupid, but?—”

“But you’re still hung up on her.” Larissa leaned back, expression sober, like a physician rendering a diagnosis. “And before you deny it”—she casually lifted one hand—“I know you’ve seen her every single day since she fluttered out of here last week.”

“You stalking me, Silva?” Tori deflected.

“So that’s a yes,” she replied with staggering confidence. She watched Tori for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and leaning forward. “What’s going on? Trust me, my Sagittarius spirit usually finds your Scorpio-tastic need to live in your head and keep every thought a secret adorable.” She smiled, soft andwarm. “But maybe if you let some of them out into the light…” She tilted her head to the side.

“I don’t even know,” Tori breathed, the first whole truth she’d told in days.

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Larissa’s tone was so gentle, it made Tori too aware that she looked as unraveled as she felt.

Tori closed her eyes too long to call it a blink. When she opened them again, her chest was aching like an alien spawn was fighting to break free. She opened her mouth, but she couldn’t answer the question. Instead, a barrage of reasons sheshouldn’tcare about Mia swarmed out.

“In so many ways…” Tori tried to get out of her own way and let something —anything—flow out. “It’s like nothing ever changed. Like I’m still this stupid teenager, but without the mood swings.” She tried to laugh, but it was too strained. She dropped her head back on her chair. “I don’t know,” she repeated, eyes trained on the ceiling. “It’s too fucking pathetic,” she confessed to the crown molding. “What does it say about me that I can’t remember being happier than…” She didn’t let herself finish the sentence.

“Than you’ve been since that cute redhead cannon-balled back into your life?” Larissa put her out of her misery.

Tori nodded.

“Even though that crush is still crushing.” Larissa repeated her question from a few nights earlier, but this time it sounded more like a statement of fact. One Tori was too tired to contest.

Tori nodded again. “It’s so stupid. Not only is shenotinto women, she’s impulsive. She’s chaos and mess?—”

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