Page 3 of The Love Raffle

“Thank you, Amber.” He rubbed his hands thoroughly. “When I get rich and famous, I’ll remember you.” He winked.

Elouise chuckled. “I mean, I want to see it happen, but with the way the industry’s been in the last ten years…I don’t know if any of us will get a break soon.”

Amber hated it when she talked like that, but she was stating the truth. “Tough market. You either need to know someone, be the kid of someone,sleepwith someone, or get crazy lucky to get your big break.” These words were not hers. She had collected them in her mind over the years.

“You guys are such cynics. You’re messing with my aura,” Conner whined. “Come on.” He smiled at Amber, then poked her in the ribs with his elbow. “I thought you said Beca’s been giving you all her focus.”

“Only because most of her other clients dropped her,” Elouise said dryly. She curled a finger to her nose and snorted.

“Shut up, you.” Amber pushed her playfully. “She’s all I can afford.”

“Guys, we need to be more positive. Come on.” Conner exhaled. “Elouise, your bar gig is still working out.” He gestured a hand towards her.

Elouise shrugged lousily. “It’s not Madison Square Garden though.”

“But it’s something.” Conner held his chest. “And my band’s last song got two thousand streams on Spotify.”

Amber appreciated what he was doing. If it was up to her and Elouise, they’d both be drowning their sorrows in whiskey every night. “And Beca booked me that commercial.”

Conner clapped. “See? You’re catching on,” he said, laughing under the blinking light. It did that sometimes.

“It was only your foot, though. Yourfootgot a role in a foot moisturizer commercial.” Elouise twirled her vape pen between her fingers. “And it’s a commercial that only grannies on YouTube will see.”

“Elouise,” Conner hissed.

Amber sighed and smiled wearily. She pointed her head down the street. “Yeah, well…it was something, right? Like Conner said,”—she pulled Elouise’s vape from her hand — “if we had to focus on everything, we wouldn’t be doing anything. We’d all go crazy.”

Elouise tried to reach for it, but Amber pocketed the pen. “Hey,” she complained.

Conner smiled and his eyes squinted. “That’sthe spirit.” He wrapped an arm around Amber’s shoulders. “Got to think positive.”

Amber forced a giggle as the cars kept driving and the buzzing light flickered once more. She saw a rat scurry under the dumpster from the kitchen but pushed down the panic that welled inside of her. As her eyes wandered upward, they were drawn to the twinkling stars above, a celestial blanket that seemed to hold infinite possibilities. One star burned with a vibrant red light, catching her attention. Amber speculated that it must be a satellite, a tiny beacon in the vast expanse of the universe. The sight grounded her, reminding her that there was a world beyond the confines of her current circumstances.

Elouise and Conner were talking about celebrity crushes now. They were both willing to go to war to gate keep Andrew Garfield. It made her chuckle when they argued.Oh, God.She thought of tomorrow and what it would bring. These days were so busy they flew by quickly. One month had turned into a year in a flash and now that year had been three.And I have barely booked any gigs.

Her shoulders slumped as her mother’s discouraging words threatened to return.No.She could not go back. Sometimes things took a long time. She knew that her youth would one dayexpire and so would her dreams, but pretending she had all the time in the world washerway of coping.And that’s okay.

* * *

“We’re beautiful, like diamonds in the sky!”

Amber’s eyes popped open, the blaring music yanking her away from slumber. She sat up and dragged her phone from under her pillow.

“Oh, God. Already?” she complained. The sun had barely risen, but here she was awake. Women in leggings and tank tops ran on the sidewalk below her apartment. Traffic had already started on the street.They call New York the city that never sleeps, but LA might just come for its title.

She ran her fingers through her messy hair, turned off the alarm’s music, and swung her legs off the edge of her bed. “Alright, Saturday. Let’s go.”

As she brushed her teeth in her narrow bathroom, she remembered the days when Saturdays meant lying on Grandma’s couch and watching TV. Back then, it had been easier, but all she had wanted to do was grow up.And that I did.She peeped out the bathroom door at her bed, which was only four feet from her kitchen.Living the life.She laughed with a mouth full of toothpaste.

While standing at the kitchen counter with a butter knife smeared with jam, she listened to Conner’s latest track. It was all about getting lost in some fantasy about a guy he liked. He called it “Lucid,” but she wasn’t sure how the title related to the song.Like a lucid dream?She shrugged and swiped the jam onto her bread.

The lyrics were enchanting, though. Whoever Conner wrote this about had to be the one. People did not just describe someone as a hook on their mind, body, and soul. There hadto be something special there.Wish someone would write that about me one day.She snickered, while shoving her knife into the jar of peanut butter next to her plate.I do not have time for that.She dedicated her time to work or jobs booked by Beca. They were small and paid close to nothing, but she did them.I’ll try to get a new agent soon.

Her ringtone interrupted Conner’s soulful voice, and Amber saw her screen light up with Beca’s face. “Wow. Speak of the devil.” She stared at her peanut butter hands and rushed to the sink to wash up. “Coming, Beca! She can’t hear me. Ugh.” She rinsed her hands, dried them on the towel hanging on her tiny stove, and then picked up her phone. “Hey,” she said pleasantly. “Got anything for me?”

“Oh. Amber.Doll.You’re up. How amazing.” Beca’s Jersey accent rasped through the phone.

“I’m usually up early now on Saturdays, Beck. I try to work out before my shift.” Amber continued preparing breakfast, using her shoulder to keep her phone pressed to her ear.

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