Page 131 of Filthy Promises

I emerge from the stall to find her standing there, arms crossed, eyebrow raised in classic Natalie skepticism.

“A bug that’s had you running to the bathroom every morning for the past week?” she challenges. “Please. I’m eight months pregnant. I know morning sickness when I see it.”

I freeze, hand halfway to the faucet. “That’s not—” I start to deny, but one look at her face stops me. “How did you know?”

“Besides the obvious puking? You’ve been turning green at the smell of Kevin’s tuna sandwiches. You fell asleep during the meeting yesterday. And you haven’t touched coffee in days.” She ticks the points off on her fingers. “You’re pregnant, honey.”

My shoulders slump as the truth of it washes over me. “Yeah,” I admit, the word barely audible. “I am.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Natalie wraps her arms around me, her own pregnant belly pressing against mine. “It’s going to be okay.”

“No, it’s not,” I whisper, finally letting the tears come. “It’s not okay at all.”

She leads me to the small seating area in the corner of the executive bathroom—one of the perks of my promotion that now seems almost laughable in its uselessness.

“It’s his, isn’t it?” she asks gently.

I nod, unable to speak through my tears.

“Does he know?”

“No. And he can’t. Not yet.” I look up at her, pleading. “Nat, you can’t tell anyone. Promise me.”

“Of course I won’t tell,” she assures me, squeezing my hand. “But Row, he’s going to find out eventually. You can’t hide a pregnancy forever.”

“I know.” I wipe my eyes, trying to regain composure. “I just need time to figure things out. To decide what I want to do.”

“You mean whether to keep it?” she asks carefully.

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” I press my hands to my face. “Every option seems impossible. If I keep it, I’m tied to Vince forever. If I don’t…” My voice breaks. “If I don’t, I’ll always wonder what might have been.”

Natalie rubs my back in slow circles. “What does your heart tell you?”

“My heart is an idiot,” I laugh bitterly. “It fell in love with a mobster, remember?”

“So you do love him.”

“Yes,” I confess, the word like glass in my throat. “It’s fucked up, but I do. But it doesn’t matter. He’s going to marry someone suitable from his world, and I’m going to be just the baby mama stashed away uptown.”

“You don’t know that,” Natalie argues. “Maybe he’d choose you if he knew about the baby.”

“That’s even worse! I don’t want him to choose me out of obligation. Because of a baby. I want…”

“You want him to choose you because he loves you,” she finishes softly.

“Pathetic, right?” I wipe at fresh tears. “Wanting the impossible.”

“It’s not pathetic to want love, Row.” She rests her hand on my flat stomach. “But whatever you decide about this baby, do it for you—not for him, not for anyone else. Just you.”

I nod, placing my hand over hers. “I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. But I know I need to protect myself. That’s why I’ve been keeping my distance.”

“And how’s that working out?”

“Terribly,” I say. “He knows something’s up. And it’s killing me to push him away when all I want is to be with him.”

“Maybe—” Natalie starts, but she’s interrupted by the bathroom door opening.

Diane steps in, her eyes narrowing at the sight of us huddled in the corner, my face clearly tear-stained.

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