Page 108 of Ryder

“Uh ah.” I close my eyes, relishing in his warmth. “You can’t have it both ways, husband.”

He rolls onto his back, taking me with him. My back to his front. I try to settle my breathing. “Oh, yes I can, pretty wife. I know how to make this body sing.”

“I can’t deny that,” I laugh.

He kisses my hair. “We should get some sleep. We’re drivin’ to the beach tomorrow.”

“Well, I would if you didn’t keep me awake all night.”

“Didn’t hear you complainin’.”

I snuggle back. “And you never will.”

I’m well aware sex doesn’t fix everything, but what we’ve been lacking in is communication. Our priorities have always been focused on Ade and giving him the best life, and that’s how it should be, but somewhere along the lines, we forgot about ourselves, and each other.

I make a vow right then and there that no matter what happens, I will always be upfront and honest with him, even if it’s difficult. Even if those conversations are sometimes hard.

We’ve turned a corner.

I feel it in my bones.

23

RYDER

I don’t feelanything as we watch the ashes scatter across the beach. I’m glad, in a way, because this chapter of my life is now over. But I can’t help but feel a little guilt ridden because my mom still suffered. I could’ve helped her. Even after all she did, or didn’t do, I would’ve done my best. It angers me that she’d rather go through all of that alone, never reaching out or responding to my calls. She was the fucking parent, not me. I think that’s what hurts the most. Even when I say I feel nothing, obviously I do because some hurts just never go away. But it’s done.

Crystal rubs my back with her palm. “How do you feel?”

I shrug. “The same.”

“It’s done now. She’s at peace, and we can move on from all of this.”

She’s right, like always. “I know. I’m glad, in a weird kinda way, that we did this.”

“Like I said: I’ll always have your back, no matter what.”

We still have tonight at the cabin until we head home, but I’ve never been more homesick in my entire life. I miss my son. I miss our life, and it’s only been two days.

I turn, wrapping her in my arms. “Are you glad?”

“About this, or something else?”

She knows me too well. “About how your life turned out.”

She pulls back, meeting my gaze. “You don’t even have to ask that question because the answers are written on my face.” She places her hands on my chest, her expression serious. “Never wonder about any of that because I’m exactly where I need to be. I’m not only glad, Ryd, I’m thankful. For you. For Ade. For how things turned out, and for what’s to come.”

“This is why I love you, because you know how much I need these pep talks.”

She laughs. “Oh, is that why? I thought it was because of what I did to you with my mouth.”

I smirk, then sober. “Never for one second think that you don’t have any power over me, because you do. You’re the reason I get up every day. You’re the reason I turned my life around, even when I left Greenlark. I wanted to be better. I wanted to do better.”

“And you’ve proved that, over and over again. You don’t have to prove anything anymore.”

I shift my eyes away. The scent from the saltwater cools my skin. I glance out toward the ocean, letting the serenity settle over me. “Maybe you’re right. I’ve struggled for a long time with self-worth,” I say. “But all of that crap growin’ up? It’s behind me now. I don’t have to carry that burden anymore.”

“You don’t,” she whispers. “You’re free of all of it. And what’s more? You have a reconnection with Stu now, if you want it. At least something good came out of all of this.”

---