Page 124 of Ryder

I give him a pointed look. “You sound disappointed you didn’t get to shoot someone.”

He grins. “There’s always an excuse to kill some dumb fuck who wants to hurt someone in this club.”

“He won’t be gettin’ that chance again,” Tag grumbles. “Nice shot to the throat, brother. Bled out nice and slow.”

“Didn’t exactly plan it that way,” I admit. “I took him by surprise. The fact he was high probably helped me a lot, but I’ll take the compliment.”

“How’s Ade?” Harlem looks concerned, his eyebrows knitting together.

I nod. “He’s okay. Been quiet for a little bit. Wanted his momma. I’m worried he’ll be scarred for life.”

“Whatever you need, we’ll do it,” Cash says.” He’s one tough little nut, just like his old man.”

Pride swells through me. I don’t want my five-year-old to be tough, I want him to be a kid. But he did a great job nonetheless.

“Shouldn’t you be at the hospital?” I say to Nevada. “Your mom given birth yet?”

It’s taken Nevada a little time to come to terms with the age-gap between him and his new baby sister, but he’s happy his mom and Hustler finally got it together.

“Headin’ there now. Without Hustler this afternoon, had to fill in the numbers.”

“We should all be headin’ over there,” Harlem says. “Pay our respects. Another MC baby in the fold.”

I smile when I think about the babies me and Crystal have been trying to make lately. I hope we’re next.

“I better check on Crys and Ade,” I say. Even though Giggs and Pipes are still on watch at my place until I get there, I still want to be home with them as soon as possible.

“Go,” Nevada says. “I’ll text once the baby is born.”

“Thanks everyone.” I feel a lump in my throat as I stand. “Today reminded me exactly why we are a brotherhood; alwayshelpin’ at a moment's notice. I just hope this is the last of all the goddamn threats to this club.”

“Me too,” Cash says. “I don’t think Jimmy has any other family members lurkin’ around. What this club needs is some goddamn peace and quiet.”

“Ride or Die.” Harlem bangs his fist on the table.

“Ride or Die!” everyone calls out.

I flick them all the bird behind me as I take off, eager to get home and be with my family. Today has felt surreal. I had my life flash before my eyes in an instant. I didn’t fucking like it. I never needed any reminder of what my family meant to me, but it’s brought everything front and center. Things need to change. And that change starts with me.

After tucking the little guy into bed, I move quietly out of the room.

“He’s asleep,” I tell Crystal. He wanted his mommy all night, and I get that because she’s the one he always runs to. But when he crawled into my lap on the couch and snuggled, the weight of everything really hit me.

“He’s exhausted,” Crystal says, folding into my arms. “How are you holding up?”

I shrug. “I’m okay.”

“You don’t have to pretend,” she says softly. “You can say whatever you want to say.”

“That I was so fuckin’ scared about what he’d do to Ade?” I shake my head. “I didn’t like not bein’ in control, Crys. That bastard was two seconds away from killin’ both of us.”

She cups my face. “But he didn’t.”

My eyes meet hers and my grimace softens. “Just shook me to my core,” I admit. “I don’t ever wanna feel helpless like that again.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit for what you do any of the time. Why would this be any different?”

I bump her with my hips. “You bein’ a smart mouth?”

---