Page 4 of Ryder

“But there are other options, community college, night classes—” I panic at the idea that he’ll be leaving, even though I know it’s inevitable, college or not.

“You had to have known that.” His eyes are so pretty in the morning light. They sparkle like diamonds, but they also look sad.

“I… I honestly didn’t think about it,” I whisper.

“I’m gonna go get a job, an apprenticeship probably. I don’t know yet, but I do know that I’ve nothing left in Greenlark.”

“Well, that’s great you have plans,” I say. “I mean, you’ve always loved fixing things, and there’s nothing wrong with not going to college.” Of course, I’ve had it beaten into me that college is the only way. My parents wouldn’t just disown me if I decided not to go, they’d probably cut me off, too.

He swipes a hand through his hair. “Yeah.” Somehow his answer isn’t quite what I expected. He seems… sad about it. His shoulders sag, his whole demeanor is off, and my gut wrenches.

“Ryder?”

He looks up.

“What do you want?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know…”

“No, that isn’t true. In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve always been sure of everything.”

“Maybe I’m not sure about this,” he says. “Maybe I really don’t know where the road is gonna take me.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

His lips curl up. “Everything changes, Sugar, otherwise we’d never learn anything or go anywhere.”

“You have opportunities, too.” I feel I need to reiterate that. Just because he’s poor, doesn’t mean he can’t have a good education, right? “I mean, scholarships?—”

“Wayne broke my pitching arm and ruined any chances I had of baseball as a career.” He looks away, and I could cry. I could really cry my eyes out. I forgot all about that. Ryder was the star pitcher in school, and everyone knew he was destined for great things. Nobody knew what really happened, but I knew. I always knew when he’d been hurt. He’d be real quiet. Shy away from talking, and even ignore me for a while. And I’d see the bruises.

“Jesus, I’m sorry, Ryd.” I move to my knees, forgetting my previous annoyance at him for rejecting me. I lean over to squeeze his hand. “I didn't mean to bring that up.”

He shakes his head, bringing his eyes back to mine. “You don’t have to feel sorry for me. It wasn’t meant to be. I wasn’t destined for an easy life. I’ve come to terms with it.”

A tear leaks from my eye and he reaches toward my cheek, catching it on his thumb. I want to tell him that I love everything about him. That he’s beyond perfect and he won’t have to worry. He’s got a good head on his shoulders, despite his horrible parents.

“I want to make it better,” I whisper.

“That ain’t your job.” He brings the pad of his thumb to his lips, and licks the moisture from the tip. “Your job is to make something of yourself. Be a good girl. Stay in school. But do one thing for me?”

I’d die for him, if that’s what it took. “Anything.”

He nips my chin. “Don’t go throwing your virginity at just anyone, you got me? Don’t let a precious gift go to the wrong guy, because guys are gonna try, Sugar, and they won’t care once it’s gone. They’ll move on to the next available girl.”

Oh, God. I want it to be him. I want it to be him so much.

“But I want you.”

He shakes his head. “You’re not destined for a small-town life. It won’t be enough for you.”

“Then I won’t stay.”

“Of course you won’t, but with me, that’s all you’ll have.”

“No.”

He goes to stand.

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