Page 54 of Ryder

I don’t know if it's his words, or his promise, but something inside me cracks. I never saw it before. I never saw just how much Ryder cared for me. But I see it all now. Every single thing he did? It was to protect me.

The pain etched on his face; the way his eyes glaze over and his brow furrows — he looks wretched. His grimace, and the wayhis gaze holds strong, is enough to tell me he will seek revenge, and he doesn’t even know the half of it. I’ve covered the bruises, and if he sees them now, I really do believe that he’ll follow through on his threat to kill Jimmy.

The idea that Ryder could get hurt, or go to jail, pains me. I don’t want him to do that. I just want to walk away quietly, without a fuss.

Jimmy already told me that he’ll go to the ends of the earth to find me if I ever left him, and when I first met him, I thought that was sweet. Sweet in a fucked-up kind of way because I had no real-life experience. I was naive.

“I never meant to lie to you,” I whisper. “But when I realized how deep in this I was, I thought I could hide it. I knew Jimmy would tire of me soon enough, and while the idea terrified me, I justified staying with him in my mind. He always had a way of bringing me back because of his next sob story. I had a good job, a nice apartment, and freedom. I defended him at dinner because I didn’t know how else to explain him without telling you who he was.”

“I don’t care about any of that. Just tell me you’ll never go back.”

I shake my head. “I won’t, Ryd.”

He presses a kiss to my forehead. “Good girl. I need you to go home now.”

“Wait… where are you going?” I stammer.

“You don’t have to ask me that. You know where.”

“Right now?”

“I need to talk to Cash, explain the situation.”

I bite my lip. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I just want him out of my life. I didn’t want you to step in and deal with any of this.”

He laughs without humor. “It’ll be my fuckin’ pleasure to deal with him, trust me.”

“Ryder, please,” I beg. “He’s strong. Their MC is strong, they have a bigger club than yours.”

“Our club is strong, too — we have connections.”

“Not like theirs.”

“Well, we have friends in low places, Sugar. Don’t worry about it.”

I feel sick to my stomach. I don’t want Ryder to do that, but I also know that because he’s now aware that Rifle wasn’t good to me, he will follow through on his threats no matter what I say.

“Let’s just talk about it first. I’ll go home and get changed, then I can meet you somewhere.”

“He won’t be there?”

I shake my head. “He’s never around during the day.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “I gotta talk to Cash. Can’t just go stormin’ into their clubhouse by myself.”

“Or at all?—”

“Crystal, this motherfucker put his hands on you!”

I know he wants me to admit it so he has even more of a cause to hurt him, but I can’t bring myself to say the words. “It was never that bad?—”

“I can’t fuckin’ believe I’m hearin’ this.” He steps back and I can see the tension rolling right off him. “Any hit, whether it be a slap or a punch, even a grab, it’s the same thing. He shouldneverput his fuckin’ hands on you like that. I can’t even fathom what he’s done to you emotionally. This is why you were so skittish at dinner. Were you afraid he’d find out I was comin’?”

I had asked Jimmy to come out, but that was before I knew Ryder was coming. Knowing Jimmy wouldn’t be interested, it was a safe bet that nobody would find out. “No, that wasn’t it, I was confused. I blanked out most of the bad things, blaming his addiction,” I say, my head hanging. “I used a lot of excuses and still do. I sometimes refuse to believe that all people are bad. He had a shitty upbringing?—”

“So did I and you don’t see me goin’ around hurtin’ women just because I’m bigger than them.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I’ll go talk to Cash, then I’ll come get you in an hour. Pack a bag. You’ll be safe at the clubhouse until this is sorted out.”

I don’t want to think about whatsorted outmeans. “I have to leave my own apartment?”

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