Page 85 of Ryder

Aidan chooses that time to come running in from the bathroom, our pink striped cat in tow. “Daddy! Daddy!” He claps his hands as he runs, almost tripping over his own feet.

Ryder’s smile lights up the room as I watch the two of them together. He scoops Aidan up into his arms, kissing his adorable little cheeks as he tickles him. “How’s my big boy today, huh?”

“Good!” He wraps his arms around Ryder’s neck and hugs him like he didn’t see him just a few hours ago. Ryder glances down at the cat. “Holy cr— What happened to Milo?”

I eye Aidan, then roll my eyes. “Take one guess.”

“Bud, did you paint the cat again?”

“I was sorry, Daddy.” Aidan pouts, his little face looking so sad as Ryder runs a thumb over his cheek, catching a tear.

“No need to cry, big boy, but Mommy probably already told you about not doin’ that, yeah?”

He nods. “I’ll make her sad.”

“Yes, you will, but not if we get her all cleaned up.” He kisses his head again and sets him down on the floor.

“We will get her all cleaned up,” Aidan sings, running after Milo who takes off in the other direction.

I shake my head. “I know who he gets that rebellious streak from.”

“You?” He pops a brow.

“I’m not saying that it’s all your fault, but he does get his adorable dimples from you.”

“You butterin’ me up,wife?”

“No,husband. But you need a night off. We can work out all the details tomorrow.”

“I really think I need to get onto it now,” he says. Of course, Ryder loves me to bits, but once he sets his mind to something, he’s going to do what he wants to do. “Funerals take ages to organize, and I’ve only got until next weekend.”

“What about your other family?” I ask. “Cousins, aunts, uncles?” I know he has a few.

“Like I said, it’ll be somethin’ small. Mom wasn’t exactly popular around Greenlark.”

I still feel sad for him, even if he’s acting as if he doesn’t care. His mom never made any attempt to reach out, even when we did, after having Aidan. It’s like she just washed her hands of any responsibility long before we ever had a kid. I truly thought she’d want to meet her grandson, not that I’d trust her around him alone, but I’d never denied her the right to see him. I guess some people are just rotten to the core. How Ryder turned out so differently to the rest of his family, I’ll never know, but he did.

He’s a wonderful father, and a great husband. We’re working through our issues, and I know we’ll get on track.

Later that night, I’m soaking in the tub after Aidan is fast asleep. Ryder comes in, sits on the closed toilet lid and stares at me.

I look up from my Kindle. “Ryd? Are you okay?”

“Have I been a bad husband?”

I frown. “What? No.”

“But we’ve been… distant for a few months now.”

I set my Kindle aside. “We’ve been busy, tired, stressed, and we have a five-year-old who’s started kindergarten this year. There’s a lot going on.”

“You know what I mean.” He swallows hard, interconnecting his fingers as he looks down at them. “I don’t want to end up like… like…”

“Like your parents?” I frown. “Ryder, we’ll never end up like that.”

“No?” He’s agitated, and I know how to calm him down when he gets anxious. “W-what about that asshole f-father of mine and what he did? Ran away like a fuckin’ c-coward. No wonder my mom ended up like she did.”

I’m gentle with my tone when I say, “Babe, you’re feeling all these emotions because of your mom.” We found out her liver gave up after years of abuse. She went downhill fast, but Ryder had no idea she was even sick. “Would it have made a difference if you knew she was sick?”

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