Page 92 of Ryder

His hands roam my back, sending little ripples of pleasure over my sensitive skin. “Come to Greenlark with me. I need you.”

“Of course,” I whisper. “Anything.”

“Are you sure you’re okay leavin’ Ade? We could hire a sitter?”

“It would be two nights max,” I say. “I think we’d be better off leaving him with our friends who we trust. He doesn’t need to be anywhere near Greenlark.”

My parents sold their house a few years ago and they have a permanent residence in New Orleans now. My sister and I are as close as ever, and Luca too, though he’s a big hot-shot lawyer in California. I miss him a lot, but he’s happy where he is. He’s always been supportive of me and Ryder, and I’m grateful for it. He’s the one constant in my life. Casey too, but she was too young back when all that shit went down. She became my rock, and I couldn’t ask for a better sister. We’re lucky in so many ways, and that’s what I keep reminding myself whenever times get tough. That I’ve nothing to complain about. Compared to some, I’ve got a good life, and I don’t take any of it for granted.

After my assault, it changed me forever. You view the world differently when your liberties get taken away. I can’t even imagine going through all of that without my family. Without Ryder. My hair did eventually grow back. I did take Ryder up on the hair extensions because it made me feel pretty again. The bruises faded, but the memories never truly go away.

“Hey? Why are you cryin’?” Ryder shifts, tilting my chin so our gazes meet.

“Just thinking about the past. How lucky I am.”

His eyebrows knit together in that adorable way of his. I’m lost in his gaze. In his warmth. It’s that very look that turned my world upside down all those years ago. The longing and concern. The way his jaw clenches like he can take away all the pain I’m feeling. And he would if he could. I know he would.

“Are you unhappy?”

“No!” I say, pushing up off the mattress to face him. “That isn’t what I meant.”

“I get that, but we need to work on us. We’ve been so busy with Ade that we’ve let theuspart get away,” he says. “I’m not just sayin’ this because of my mom, but life doesn’t go on forever. When our kids are moved out of home, and we’re empty nesters, it’s just gonna be the two of us. We need to find some balance.”

It’s like music to my ears.

I like how he said ourkids.

“Don’t be so sure about that, have you seen house prices?” I scoff. “I don’t think our kids are ever gonna leave home.”

His eyes soften. “It’s okay if they don’t. I can’t even imagine Ade out in the world. Drivin’, goin’ to college.”

I put a hand over his mouth. “Let’s not think about any of that right now.”

“You still want more kids, right? If it happens?”

I nod. “Yes, of course. But I think we just enjoy each other for a while, just like you said. For now.”

He kisses my nose. “You’d better get some sleep.”

“I thought you said I wasn’t getting any?” I laugh.

I love how the warmth in his eyes has the ability to render me speechless. His softness, as he strokes my back, is as endearing as his words.

“I’ll let you have a nap.”

“So generous.”

“Trust me, when you wake up, you’re gonna need all the energy you can get.”

And it’s like music to my ears.

I wake up to a hand whacking me in the face. I groan. Popping one eye open, I see Aidan in the middle of me and Ryder, Milo at the foot of the bed. Everyone is sleeping soundly as I rub my eyes and check my phone for the time. Almost six am.

We have to leave today to go and sort things out in Greenlark. Ryder didn’t want to make a big thing out of his mom’s funeral, so we’ve agreed on a private service with just a handful of family. That’s what she wanted.

I have to hand it to Ryder, if she had been my mom, I wouldn’t have been so accommodating. I guess that’s why he’s a much better person than I am. He’s not petty, and he doesn’t hold a grudge. Well, he did for Jimmy but that’s different. I’ll never understand why his mother couldn’t just be a mom. Why did she have to turn a blind eye to his abuse, and act as if she didn’t care? Ryder learned to protect himself from an early age, and that just isn’t fair.

I think about our son and how loved he is. We’re not the world’s leading experts on how to raise the perfect child, but he knows he’s loved. We will support him in whatever he wants to do, and most importantly, he’s safe. He will always be safe, and he can talk to us about anything. That’s what I want him to know, and what I will continue to teach him. He never has to be afraid of being honest.

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