Page 95 of Ryder

“Take your time, there is no hurry.”

I turn to my wife. It was a good move bringing her with me. I wouldn’t want anyone here but her. Bronco said he’d tag along for moral support, but I told him to put his services to better use and watch our kid instead.

“It’ll take a couple of weeks for the will to be finalized,” I say. “Then we can set up a trust fund for Ade, and maybe donate some of it to the shelter.”

She stares at me. “Ryd, that’s a great idea.”

The shelter took us in when we were down and out when my dad left us. We were there for a couple of weeks. They helped out with food, clothing, a place to stay until Mom was able to get a rental, and covered schooling. I’m sure they’d be open to receiving since they were fundraising recently.

There’s a lump in my throat when I say, “Without them, we would’ve been on the street.” I close my eyes, remembering those awful times. We had nothing. Added to that, the debt collectors on my mom’s doorstep wiped out what little we did have.

My mom may have been neglectful and looked the other way, but my dad was the real coward.

“They did a great thing. It’s what community is all about,” Crystal says.

“We could also help Amara’s place,” I say, remembering Bella, Priest’s ol’ lady, set up a studio a few years back that offers yoga, creative writing, art, pottery, classes and pop up shops for local artists and creatives. All of the profits go to helping women and children at the local parish through Father Dan; their good friend who was instrumental in getting Priest back on his feet when he was down and out.

“She’d be very grateful,” Crystal says. “I know they’re always coming up with ways to fundraise, and to keep the Soup Kitchengoing downtown.” That’s another project the club are heavily involved in, and where Bella and Priest first met.

I scratch my chin. “Yeah. I think that’s definitely something I want to do.”

It’s like keeping this money for myself is dirty. I don’t want it. I know it wasn’t my mom’s fault when my dad skipped town, but he still owes a lot of people money. This wouldn’t even cover a blip on my dad’s humongous debt to the good people of Greenlark, but it would make my conscience feel a damn sight better if the money went to people who need it the most.

“We can work all of that out with Payden,” Crystal says. Payden is Luna’s best friend, and a lawyer. She often comes over to the club to hang out, and she’s been known to help out a time or two whenever someone was arrested in the past or needed representation. Most of what the Rebels do never involves a lawyer, and that’s saying something.

I nod. “Okay.”

“Did you want to go down to the funeral house now, or grab something to eat first?” Crystal gives me a small smile.

“To be honest, I’m not all that hungry,” I say. For some reason, I’ve lost my appetite. “But we can grab something now if you’d like?”

She shakes her head. “I’m good. Maybe a coffee, though?”

There are a couple of cafes in town, so we stop at one on the way by. Nobody would really know me now, since I left here at barely eighteen. Fourteen years passed by so fast.

The place hasn’t changed all that much. It’s pleasant, with a small hub of shops and eateries, but it still has that small town feeling.

“You know what I thought when I first got into town?” I say when we park at the funeral home. I turn the engine off and contemplate for a moment.

“What? That they need to change the ‘Welcome to Greenlark’ sign?”

I chuckle. “It does need a fresh paint job, but no. I was thinkin’ how lucky we are.”

She lays a hand on mine. “We are. So very lucky.”

I swallow hard. “I never want to feel stuck in a rut.” I don’t even know what I mean by that, but Crystal waits for me to finish. “To feel like I can’t get out of somethin’, ya know?”

“Do you feel that way about home?” Alarm paints her face; her eyes wide and her brow slightly furrowed.

“No, that’s not what I meant.” I run both hands through my hair. “I just meant in life. So many times when I was growin’ up, I was stuck. I couldn’t leave. Couldn’t go anywhere. Now that I’m in a place where I never want to leave, I can see all the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t want to keep repeatin’ them.”

“You haven’t made any,” she says. “You’ve provided for me and Aidan; your family. You put everybody else first. You always have.”

“But things with us…” I need to get this off my chest. “… haven’t always been the best, not lately. I’ve focused a lot on work, and bustin’ my ass to try and be somebody.”

I feel her grip my hand, folding into hers. “And youaresomebody. You’ve achieved so much. The business is thriving, and you’re able to cut back at work. I’m so proud of you for that. I agree, we have stuff we need to work on, but no marriage is perfect.”

Hearing her say those words does make me feel proud. I guess just being back in town is making me feel more nostalgic than I ever thought possible, and sad more than anything.

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