Page 99 of Ryder

“Maybe he has turned over a new leaf?”

I hope so, for Stu’s sake. The only path he was headed down was a shady one. If he has turned his life around, then good for him. “It’ll be a big middle finger to Wayne if he did.” That part makes me smile, even if I am having a hard time picturing Stu being a good person. Maybe leopards can change their spots after all.

“You can say that again.” Crystal is still absorbed in the article. “There’s no mention of your mom, or any photos of her on the community pages.”

I don’t find that hard to believe. “What should I say back?”

Her eyes find mine. “Aren’t you a little more curious now?”

I shift in my seat. “More than I was five minutes ago,” I admit.

“You’ve got nothing to lose, like you said before.”

My eyes dart down to my phone. People can change. I could’ve ended up a loser, but I fought hard to keep my wits about me and stay out of trouble. It can be done. I should give Stu the benefit of the doubt. He’d be twenty-nine now. A lot can happen in that time.

I may not have planned this trip, but maybe there is power in coming back. In letting go of the past. It might mean cutting all the ties to Greenlark, and everyone in it, but that’s a good thing. It means the past isn’t ruling me anymore. And if Stu wants to talk, then I can give him some of my time. From what Crystal just told me, he seems like a decent person. Maybe there’s hope for us yet. Maybe we can both get some closure. That’s if he hasn’t messaged back to have it out with me once and for all. Stranger things have happened.

I glance back at my phone, quickly tapping out another message.

Me

We’ll be there

21

CRYSTAL

As we drive through Greenlark,we pass the huge track and field area behind the high school. My face drops when I remember about Ryder and the baseball career he could’ve had if Wayne hadn’t fucked up his arm. I want to go spit on that man’s grave — in fact, we may have to make a pit-stop to the cemetery on the way out of town, just to pay my non-respects.

Sensing my sudden mood shift, I feel Ryder’s hand on my thigh. “Everythin’ okay?”

“Yes.”

He looks at me pointedly, but I ignore him and instead I stare out the front windshield. “What aren’t you sayin’?”

“It feels weird being back, that’s all.” It isn’t a lie. “And I can’t wait to go home.”

“What if I wanted to take you up to the lake tomorrow night after we scatter Mom’s ashes?”

I brighten. “I’d like that.”

We haven’t been to the lake since I was kid, and we haven’t had a weekend together since before Aidan was born. It sucks it’s all come about under these circumstances, but it is what it is.Sometimes you need road bumps that get in the way to remind you of what’s right in front of you.

“Me too.” He brings our joined hands to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. “Here goes nothin’.”

I have to say I’m pleasantly surprised by what I’ve been reading about Stu all afternoon. There’s article after article about him and all the good he’s been doing over the last few years in Greenlark. He moved away to get his degree, and even paid for it himself by investing in Bitcoin. I don’t know if that was a tongue in cheek confession, or if he really did make a lot of money. He was always a bit of a geek, but I didn’t think he really had it in him to go to college. He showed no interest in school back then. Despite the past, I’m glad he turned his life around; few people surprise me. And it’ll stay that way as long as he isn’t wielding a knife, or a bad attitude, towards Ryder. Something tells me it’s going to be okay.

“Are you nervous?” I ask him.

He chuckles a little darkly. “Uh, no. This is Stu. He always was a little shit, but I was never afraid of him. Judgin’ by all those articles, it looks like he’s a decent human being and probably wants to make amends. I guess we’ll find out.”

I really hope that’s the case and we’re not setting ourselves up for more heartache. “Well, let’s get it over with.” I’m looking forward to resting at our quaint little Airbnb on the outskirts of town. It’s been emotionally draining, and we still have to go back to the funeral home tomorrow.

We exit the car and make our way toward the parish steps. It feels kinda weird, to be honest. I couldn’t imagine a stranger reunion with Stu than at a church. I guess weirder things have happened, but still. Fuck me dead.

I link my fingers with Ryder, needing to feel his warmth. He handled all the funeral stuff with amazing poise. I have to admit, I was impressed. Then again, it’s just like Ryder to take charge.

He hasn’t always been open about expressing his feelings, or knowing how to articulate them, but he’s always been a guy who will give a second chance. Even if, most of the time, the other person doesn’t deserve it. Maybe that’s what I love about him most; his ability to forgive.

---