Page 12 of Wolf's Providence

“Possessions, desires, attachments—they mean nothing to a shaman. But to you, Willow? They may mean everything.”

I didn’t understand half of what he said. He left not long thereafter, but my thoughts were a storm, his final words lingering in my mind like the echo of a distant drumbeat.

And not for the first time, I wondered if Caleb’s absence wasn’t just painful—it was dangerous.

FOUR

Caleb

I lookedout from the Peak, down to the forest below, the jagged tree line silhouetted against the fading light. The sky was streaked with purple and gray, reminding me of bruises, the kind of sky that always felt like something bad was coming. It was fitting.

The scent of crisp earth, snow on the air, and the unmistakable taste of pine filled the air, but I could still catch the faintest whiff of blood under it all.

Herblood.

The metallic tang of Willow was burned into my memory, following me everywhere I went, every second that I’d left her.

My eyes narrowed as I glared at the landscape below me. I wanted to rip it all up, destroy it, and never look back. The wolf inside me was restless, my rage simmering, clawing at the edge of my control. Closing my eyes, I forced myself to breathe and focus on the sounds of the mountain—the sound of the falling snow, the distant cry of a bird—anything to keep from reliving the night I hurt her.

It did no good. Every time I tried to shut it out, Willow’s face came rushing back—pale, twisted in pain, the life slipping out ofher as I held her in my arms. I remembered the desperation, the fear that had driven me to do the unthinkable.

I hadn’t hesitated. Feeding her my blood was reckless, a wild act borne of a grim warning from my childhood. But I’d done it anyway.

And it worked. She was alive.

And I’d left her.

I had to though. Didn’t I? I couldn’t stay there after what I’d done to her. After the pain I caused her.

The shame tore at my insides, sharp and restless, constant. Shoving a hand through my hair, my grip tightened, but it was a futile wish that I could pull the guilt right out of my body along with my roots. I was a danger to her, I always had been. I told her that from the beginning, hadn’t I? Yet I hadn’t stayed away. I kept goingbackto her—drawn to her, needing to be close to her.

And then I’d done what I knew I would. I’d hurt her. I’d lost control and I’d almost killed her.

And she told me she didn’t blame me.How could she not?I did. Doc did.

To make it worse, I could stillfeelher. My blood was inside her, and the thread that connected us before was now constantly pulling at me from across the distance.

I would never be free of her.

I had thought the worst the night I left her with Doc, and I knew I had to get out of that cabin. I was on the ridge when I felt it, that undeniable tug that tethered me to the woman below. I’d wanted more than anything to run back to her, but I knew I couldn’t.

How could I face her?

I’d already made things worse. Giving in to the demons that whispered in my ear, listening to the darkness that surrounded my soul and claimed it as its own. Every day, I’d beencloser to the edge, closer to something wholly dark and utterly irreversible.

And then it happened. I hurtherand I would never be able to forgive myself.

It was better for us all if I stayed away.

“Hiding won’t fix anything, you know.”

Turning, I looked at the old man who had come up behind me. I hadn’t felt his presence, a trick I would like to know.

Shifting into my human form, I regarded the shaman as I checked around me for more intruders.

“How did you get here?” I asked cautiously. Was he real?

“Same as you, boy, four paws and a strong will.” Walking towards me, he looked down over Shadowridge Peak. “Beautiful…but deadly,” he murmured. “Too old to be standing on the highest peak in my birthday suit, boy. Let’s go down where my clothes are, and put some heat back in my bones.”

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