Page 6 of Wolf's Providence

There was a lot they didn’t know. ThatIdidn’t know. Did the shaman? Did Caleb? He must have known something before he did such a thing as shove his blood down my throat. Shouldn’t he have?

Or was it an act of a desperate man?

My hands curled into fists, and the ache in my body flared as I struggled to make any sense of it.

And once more, I was left with more questions than answers.

Lily was nothappy about going, but she didn’t protest too much. She understood the severity of the situation, and when they told her I would be transferred as soon as it was safe to do so, she quieted down.

Of course, I was “infected,” so she couldn’t come and see me to say goodbye, which sucked. Doc told me he gave her all the medical jargon to convince her to go, and Cannon had added that I was stressing out about my business. Which was only true when he mentioned it to me. I’d forgotten all about my store.

How? This was my livelihood; how had I been so quick to forget it for a guy? I mean, was I really that shallow? Or was Caleb really just that thought-consuming? I hated that it was probably the latter.

I watched the door more than I should have. With Lily gone, the days had gotten lonelier. Doc was in and out, but he was clearly uncomfortable when he sat down to “spend time with me.” It didn’t help that my brain still thought I was in excruciating pain when I wasn’t. My blood and Caleb’s blood were mixing, and from the feel of it, it wasn’t blending well. The itch was still there and still getting on my very last nerve.

However, Doc’s company was better than no company. Alone with my thoughts may be worse. The silence was becoming oppressive, thick, and suffocating. I knew I should be relieved. I knew that being alive and breathing and not hanging to life by a thread were all things to be grateful for, but…I couldn’t lose the knot of anxiety that twisted tighter and tighter in my chest.

He was gone. Again.

The idea he was out there thinking I was dead? Fear filled me at the thought of how lost he would feel. My hands trembled as I pulled the covers up and around my shoulders, the cold of the room seeping into my bones. He always said that shifters ran hot. Why didn’t I get that perk as his blood coursed through me?

His blood. I still couldn’t fully wrap my head around it all.

He had to know something about giving humans blood before he tried it. It was such a desperate act for someone like him. He was so steadfast and stern. They were being tight-lipped about it, but I was pretty confident that blood sharing was not something the pack law allowed.

The whole thing was a nightmare. Something that couldn’t possibly be real. But the ache in my body was very real, and so was the lingering itch beneath my skin, reminding me with every moment that I was no longer the same.

Not entirely.

Tentatively I ran my fingers over the bandages that still protected my wounds from the what? Air? Elements? I was in a place where there were no diseases, well, not infectious ones. Were the bandages for show? So my poor human brain didn’t freak out completely?

I wanted Caleb. I wanted him here. I wanted to ask him what the hell he was thinking, and I wanted him to know I was okay.

I thought I knew him. Ididknow him. He was the man who’d stood beside me, protected me, and cared for me, even when his own demons threatened to tear him apart.

Swallowing hard, I blinked away the sting of tears. I hated this. The not knowing. The constant push and pull of my emotions warring inside me wasn’t helping. It kept my head spinning. Caught between thankful and confused, I was close to losing it altogether.

Puffing out my cheeks, I exhaled slowly. I needed to stop dwelling. This was what it was, the actions were done, and I had to learn to live with the consequences, if there were any. I was still human, people got blood transfusions every day, and I was no different. Moving in the bed to get more comfortable, I couldn’t ignore the slight hum under my skin. It was subtle, lying under the not-so-subtle itch, and when I concentrated on it, I felt…something familiar.

Something that felt a lot like a connection to Caleb.

It was familiar yet alien. Was I manifesting an awareness of Caleb, desperate for a connection to a man who was no longer here? Or was Iactuallyconnected to him? All I knew was I couldn’t put it into words, but it was there.

And Caleb wasn’t.

The ache in my chest wasn’t just physical, it felt deeper. It feltraw. If I closed my eyes, I could still feel his arms around methat night. I could still hear him beg me to stay with him, his cry to Luna that she save me.

Had she listened?

I was here, wasn’t I? But why would she listen?

I wanted to ask Caleb, but he had left. Doc said that he walked in on him, but why would Caleb flee? Was he scared of the consequences? Or had he thought I was gone and didn’t want to stay where another person he cared for died?

That made more sense. Shadowridge Peak held so much heartache for him—was my “death” the last straw? I remember telling him that I didn’t blame him. But Caleb would feel guilty. I knew he would. How many times had he pushed me away, believing he wasn’t good enough, that he was too broken? For him to be the one who caused the hurt, he would be suffering more under his own hand than anyone else.

I needed someone to find him and tell him I was okay. I hadn’t lied to him, I didn’t blame him, I wasn’t angry. But Iwashurt that he left. Deeply. But he had saved me, and as I felt the hum under my skin, I was beginning to think he’d left more than his blood with me.

The fact he had left pissed me off, but I was content to scream at him when he stood in front of me once more. Plus, I wanted to ask him if he felt this weird connection too. It was more than when I drew him, this was constant.

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