Page 64 of Her Ruin

“Oh my god, Isla, this has to stop.” With grim determination that itdidn’t matter, I grabbed the first thing that made sense—a fitted black dress, sleek and simple. Effortless. Paired with heels that said I belong anywhere I damn well please.

My hair was half towel dried, and I stood in my lingerie—perfectly normal lingerie with not one hint of silk or lace—as I thought about how to style my hair. With a defiant shrug, I roughly blow-dried it, then added a few haphazard curls with my flat iron. Turning my head upside down, I shook my hair out and then flung my head back. Beach wave perfect. Not too styled, not too wild.

Perfect, loose waves let my chocolate-brown hair fall softly around my face, leaving me with the conundrum of makeup. Did I need makeup? I only ever wore eyeliner, mascara, and lipstick. Pulling at my skin, wishing I had more color than this flush I was wearing, I decided I’d put on just enough to hide the nerves crawling under my skin.

“It’s not a date,” I whispered to myself, angry at the effort I was putting into this “I made no effort” look. “This is not about Zayn.”

It was just a night out.

Twenty minutes later, I checked my reflection one last time, ensuring that I looked like I had taken just enough time to care but not enough to make it obvious. Then, before I could second-guess myself, I grabbed my clutch, downed the rest of my wine, and headed out the door.

Sienna, looking radiant and annoyingly smug, was already waiting outside her building when the cab pulled up.

“Why do you look so…gleeful?” I asked her warily.

She slid into the seat beside me, looking me over with a knowing smirk. “You look good.”

I’d spent the whole drive here waging a mental battle I refused to lose. Sienna was not going to tip me over the edge. “Do I normally look bad?” I asked her with a roll of my eyes.

She laughed, but she didn’t miss a beat. “So, tell me…how much time did you spend deciding what you should wear tonight?”

“Maybe five or ten minutes?”Lie, lie, lie, lie. “It’s a Friday night, and I’m just not as hip as I used to be.” I brushed my hair off my shoulder. “I never can keep up with trends.”

She saw right through my bullshit. “You took ten minutes?” Her eyebrows rose into her hairline. “Next, you’ll be telling me you don’t want Zayn’s attention tonight.”

That earned her a punch on the arm. “I don’t dress for men, Sienna.”

She leaned closer to me and whispered. “Satin lingerie? Or lace?” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Or…none?”

I jerked away from her, my face flaming.

Sienna cackled, and I noticed the cab driver frowning at her loudness. “Right,” she said while wiping her eyes. “So all that, the all-black, sexy-but-not-trying-too-hard thing, was just a simple coincidence?”

Gritting my teeth together, I tried not to snap. “It’s a nightclub, Sienna. Should I have worn a sweatshirt and leggings?”

Sienna grinned at me, thoroughly enjoying my discomfort. “I mean, if you were trying to convince me that he isn’t under your skin, maybe. Maybe…”

I shot her a look, but she just snorted, her eyes twinkling with way too much enjoyment.

“When will you believe me that I don’t care what he thinks?” I sounded convincing even if my stomach was in knots at the blatant lie.

Maybe she finally believed me, or maybe she decided to cut me some slack because she didn’t call me out on it, which somehow made me feel worse.

The cab parked just up from the main entrance, and I was pleased. I knew I needed the extra distance to prepare myself mentally for what happened next. It wouldn’t have mattered had the cab parked me back at home and I walked there. As soon as I stepped out of the car, I felt it.

The pull. The awareness. It felt like the damn building itself knew I was back.

Elixir was already buzzing, and a steady line of people was wrapped around the block, waiting for the chance to step into Zayn’s world.

“Wow, there’s already a queue.” Sienna’s eyes were wide with awe, and I jabbed my elbow into her side. “Ow!”

“You’ve been to a nightclub before; stop looking so starry-eyed full of wonder.”

She grabbed my hand, tucking it into the crook of her arm. “When we get inside, you’re doing shots until you relax.” She let out a sudden squeal, ignoring my wince. “Girls! Girls, we’re here!”

How can they miss her?She caught my eye, and I instantly felt guilty, offering her a weak smile. This was her night. I should stop feeling sorry for myself and enjoy it with her.

“Do we have to join the line?” one of them complained, and I couldn’t remember if she was Brittani with an “I” or a “Y.” She turned to me. “I thought you knew people?”

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