Page 86 of Her Ruin

Zayn pulled me upwards and turned me, lifting me off my feet, and then I was pushed against the shower wall, and he entered me in one stroke. His lips trailed kisses over my neck as he hammered into me, his thumb rubbing my clit in smooth circles.

“Zayn…”

“Come for me.”

And I did. Then he did. After washing us both, he towel dried my hair and carried me back to bed. Zayn lay behind me, and we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

* * *

“I feellike I haven’t spoken to you in days,” Julian said as he poured spaghetti into the bowl.

“Mmhmm?” I looked up from the sauce I was stirring. “That’s insanity. I spoke to you twice yesterday.”

“Yeah…” He nodded thoughtfully. “Then I haven’tseenyou in days,” he amended, coming to stand beside me with the bowl. “You’ve been so busy with The Grand we seem to be passing ships in the night.”

Guilt gnawed at my insides. “You’ve been in Chicago so much with this new project,” I reminded him, but I hated blaming him when it was really my fault. I’d spent nearly every night over the last week either in Zayn’s bed or he was in mine.

Julian set the bowl down gently, watching me stir as if he were trying to read my mind. “You know I worry about how hard you work, Isla. You’re doing too much.”

I forced a laugh and waved a wooden spoon in the air. “I work just as hard as you do, so pot…meet kettle.” I tasted the sauce, anything to avoid eye contact. “Life gets busy, you know how we are.” I glanced at him and hastily averted my eyes. “Okay, sauce is ready.”

Julian helped me pour the sauce over the spaghetti and sprinkled some parmesan over it. “You need to slow down,” he admonished as he carried the bowl to the table. “I miss you.”

Shit.

I looked up, meeting his concerned gaze. “I miss you too,” I admitted in a hushed tone, but I knew part of me was already somewhere else, tangled up in someone else’s world.

We sat down to eat, and Julian sighed as he picked up his fork. “You’re your own woman, and you know your business, but…just don’t let Gerard take advantage of your time too much.”

I twirled pasta around my fork, feeling the weight of his worry. The memory of my late nights with Zayn, every touch, every whispered promise in the darkness, reminded me how big a secret I was keeping from my best friend. “I won’t.”

We ate in silence for a short while, but the sense of worry hung over me too much. “The final drapes were hung today,” I told Julian, breaking the silence. “Do you think you’ll be at the reopening?”

Julian gave me a soft smile. “After all the work that you’ve done, you think I would miss it?”

“No, I was just checking,” I said with a teasing smile, striving desperately to regain our level of ease. My guilt was killing me.

Julian never liked the idea of Zayn and me sharing space. Yes, he always defended him, but he neverwantedus to be in the same room together. I’d always been so steadfast in my distaste of him that it had never been a problem, but now… Now I was sleeping with him.

Regularly.

And a lot of that time wasn’t spent sleeping.

If I told Julian, he would be furious. I knew it wasn’t jealousy. I knew it was something much deeper.

Love.

He cared about me as a sister. I knew that, and like a protective older brother, he would keep the guy who most certainly would break my heart away from me.

I was sure Zayn and I would fizzle out soon. It was a crazy attraction. They burned out quickly; our differences would soon be too big to ignore. The unyielding pull towards him would slacken.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and dread filled me. Julian looked up from his dinner plate.

“Okay, now I know you’re sick or something. Usually, by the time I look up, you’ve put the phoneawayafter sending the response.”

“Maybe I’m being polite,” I said, hoping I pulled off my casual remark.

Julian rolled his eyes. “Look at your phone, Isla, I know it’s killing you.” His low chuckle only made me worse.

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