Page 102 of Pet: Genesis

“I saw so much of the planet when I was with Remus. I find myself craving the beauty of nature,” I say softly. Jude laughs next to me.

“I know what you mean. They’re bastards, but they did know how to bring out the beauty of our planet,” he says.

“Do you miss her?” I ask. Jude is silent for a moment, but I can feel his expression on me.

“No. Do you miss him?” he asks. I can’t look at Jude as the answer forms in my head.

“I hated him... but now that he’s gone, I feel like something is missing. My chest feels heavy... like no matter how much I breathe, I can never take in enough air to ease the ache,” I say. I feel Jude’s hand on my shoulder, forcing my tears to fall even harder. The weight of what I’ve done hangs over my head.

“I don’t know what’s right anymore,” I say.

“You were abandoned at a young age and forced to live a rough life. Remus took you in. I don’t know how he was when you first came into his care. But by the time I had met you, I could tell he favored you. It’s why I asked for your help with all of this in the first place. It’s okay to feel vulnerable, Iris. We had very different experiences with them,” he says gently.

I reach behind me, pulling the pin I’ve used to hold my hair back out of my hair. I study it before responding to Jude.

“Do you think I made a mistake?” I ask.

I look at Jude. “I don’t think Iriel is good for these people. I think he’s going to get them all killed,” I say.

I look back at the pin, remembering Remus when I first met him and our last moments together.

“What if I could have changed his mind?” I whisper. Finally, the unrelenting guilt I’ve felt comes to the forefront.

“What if all I had to do was wait and try to convince him?” I look at Jude as more tears spill down my cheeks. I hastily wipe them away, hating myself forthis.

“What if I could have saved humanity? I could have given them a better future, and now, I’ve cursed them.” I drop my head in my hands, my shoulders shaking from the pain I feel. “I fucking cursed them.”

Jude’s movements are hesitant, but I feel him slowly wrap his arms around me, pulling me in close to him. His hug is one of complete comfort as he lets me cry into his arms.

“You’re only human. We came to you. We asked you to find his weakness. You’re not the only one to blame,” he says.

I want to believe him, but as I think of everything that the resistance has done and acted upon since my meeting with Jude, I realize just how damning my involvement may have been. Everything was my idea. Everything down to the plan to destroy the port. It once again shines a light on how useless of a leader Iriel is. I’ve accomplished more being an ally to the resistance than he has “leading” it.

“You may have been a great leader in another life.”

Remus’s words from that day in the park burn at the back of my mind. It was one of his many moments of vulnerability in my presence. Remus was a complex being, but he also seemed to be changing. He seemed adamant in his decision not to have humanity in his society, but he also mentioned that Margot earned his respect. Margot, a human that he so loathed.

Was it a possibility?

I lean into Jude’s chest, enjoying the warmth as I try and silence my tears. I feel my own resolve coming to the forefront as I come to terms with my situation. I’ve been afraid to admit it, but I canfind answers just by going to the facility where Ezra is kept. But the thought of my innermost fear being correct has me terrified to try.

This may be a bad idea, but I don’t care. I look up as the doors to the facility finally open, and Sky comes out with a smile on her lips. Even now, my ability to enter the facilities has been revoked. As a result, it’s taken me twenty minutes just to get someone to contact Sky to come outside and allow me entrance.

“Iris, what a pleasant surprise,” she says as she approaches. She waves the guards off, letting me step through as I follow her into the facility.

“I’m sorry about that. Cypress increased security since leaving. It must have slipped his mind to get you access,” she says as she walks ahead of me. As I look around, I see that the number of humans here is low.

“Does no one care about the fact that you have a Leviathan in your basement?” I ask. Sky chuckles at my words.

“No one knows. Most of the people who live here see this place as a refuge, somewhere they can make a new start. They aren’t fully aware of our involvement in the war,” she says. I look at her in confusion but she answers my question before I can voice it.

“Humans have a tendency to panic over things that don’t require it. There’s no need to cause panic when our captive is weaker than a five-year-old.”

She studies me for a moment when I don’t respond.

“Are you okay?” she asks, pulling my attention. My gaze sweeps over the hall before landing back on her.

“Can I see him?” I ask. She looks shocked for a moment before regaining her composure.

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