“My brother…is he…did you…” I trail off, unable to say the words aloud.
I should hate my brother. I should want nothing to do with him, seeing as he’s the reason all this began. But the longer I think about it, the more I realize just how innocent he is as well. He was a pawn just as much as I was, and Luca not only revealed that his mother sold him off for a price, but Luca has said on more than one occasion that he would kill anyone who was a threat to my life.
Luca scoffs, pulling me from my thoughts.
“What did I just say, Elise?” he asks, the expression on his face growing irritated as he studies me. I slowly release his shirt, lowering my hand as a chill ripples over me.
“My family is dead to me,” I whisper.
Luca doesn’t respond as he stands from the bed, once again leaving me alone with my thoughts. Luca and I are broken. Whatever trust we had has been decimated by my actions. And although Luca has said I am a Pasquino now, I know that every time he looks at me, he wars with himself over my life. I release a shaky breath as a dark cloud slowly descends upon me, the more my situation reveals itself.
I am alone.
Chapter Nineteen
Elise
This should be nothing new; this loneliness. I’ve been alone all my life. And as Luca so eloquently put it at his father’s funeral, my father never loved me. He never acknowledged me until my sixteenth birthday, and even still, it was because his plan was moving forward. My marriage gave him an “in” with the Pasquinos—an opportunity to exploit their weaknesses. If not for Luca’s hypervigilance, they would be no more, and I would have joined in that because my father saw no use for me.
None.
Same as my husband. Now that we are together with no sense of duty forcing us to remain that way, we have both come to an impasse. I rarely see Luca these days. I’m sure he’s busy trying to clean up the mess my father left behind while maintaining the illusion of control and calm over his family. If anyone from the Pasquino family found out about the accident I caused, almost killing Luca, it would cause a massive rift in the family, possiblyeven a power struggle. Once again, making me responsible for Luca’s problems.
Then there’s the issue of the ever ambitious Trovolis. I shudder to think what would have happened if I followed Ari out of that diner. Her intentions were not innocent, especially since Luca revealed he got his hands on my half-brother. I’m sure they would have used me as ransom, or if Luca had harmed him, they would have returned the favor. Either way, it makes me nauseous to think of Ari’s fake smile and story as she led me to a less-than-savory future.
It’s as Luca said; there were things in place long before my marriage to him. I doubt anyone would give up just because of this little setback. They’ve already crossed the line by killing Luca’s father. Now, it is only a matter of time before someone strikes first. Only one side can come out of this victorious. And both sides have virtually nothing to lose.
My eyes fly open as the door to the bedroom opens. I shift, lowering myself into the tub as I watch the bathroom doorway that leads into our bedroom, waiting for Luca to pass by. His footsteps are silent, but it only takes five seconds before he’s standing in the doorway, reflecting my gaze.
Luca gives me a gentle smile as he steps into the bathroom, but I see it for what it is. It’s his way of disarming me.
“You got out of bed,” he says, sitting on the edge of the tub. I quickly note he’s wearing a dark, expensive suit, meaning he’s been conducting business.
“Yes,” I say softly.
Awkward silence passes between us, both of us once again at a loss.
“We can walk around the property when you finish if you like,” he says.
Against my better judgment, I laugh. It’s just a tiny scoff of humorous confusion as my husband takes on a persona I’ve never seen before. Nor did I think it was possible.
“No,” I say after a long stretch of silence.
“Elise… I’m really trying here,” he says.
“Thank you for trying now that my entire life has been revealed as a lie, Luca,” I say.
Luca narrows his gaze, and I know that I am pushing him, but I can’t bring myself to care. I don’t care about anything right now. It all feels pointless at this moment in time. Nothing matters.
“Sulking isn’t going to change any of that. Your life has always been a lie. You just refused to see it. You chose to cling to the ridiculous naivete you were born with,” he says.
“Yes, that’s because if my father had his way, I would have died with that naivete intact,” I snap.
“If your father had his way? Are you really justifying his decisions?” he asks in disbelief.
I look away, my fingers clutching the edge of the tub as I try to ground myself.
“Of course not,” I murmur.