But Sloane’s power is stronger. My need for her is stronger.
A tiny breath escapes her and seems to imbue my soul with something it hasn’t felt in a long time. Life.
As I press forward, wholly ready to go to hell with my hand in hers, she steps back, shivering out of the same attraction that has me currently hazy.
“We should go,” she says, walking toward the SUV and getting inside. I’m left staring out over the battering waves and dark slinks down over the world like a veil of shadowy canopy.
I know God still sees me. Standing on a beach, grappling with everything I hold dear.
We got back homean hour ago. It’s nearing nine p.m., and I can’t unwind from the day’s events.
Sloane went straight to her room, and I haven’t seen her since.
I ordered food, which still didn’t lure her out. And when I called for her, she didn’t emerge.
I’ve been pacing the floor for thirty minutes now, wearing the wood thin beneath my feet.
When I can’t take it anymore, I burst into her room, not having a barrier because her door’s open, instantly hating myself for invading her space.
I understand her need for no barriers. I shouldn’t use it to my advantage, but after earlier, and because I was so close to throwing it all away for one taste of her, I know I need to explain, let alone apologize.
“Hey, I was just coming to—” My words die as my mouth dries and my eyes widen.
Something dark stretches inside me as I can’t look away from Sloane’s lithe, nude form as she looks up at me from where she has one foot up on the toilet, toweling off.
“I know it’s your house, but you don’t even knock?” she snaps.
She straightens, not bothering to cover anything. No blush tints her cheeks, nor does she seem bothered by her nudity. She’s undoubtedly not as affected as I am.
I note it as odd, but I can’t think past the way her breasts seem to stare right back at me as she moves closer.
“Did you need something, Father?” Finally, she wraps the towel around her body, and some semblance of sanity knocks me over the head.
“I came to say that I was sorry for earlier. I wanted to get you out of here and show you a good time, and then I pushed you too far. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“And the almost kiss?” she asks. There’s a rueful gleam in her eyes, but I think she’s earned the way she’s looking at me, so I soldier on.
“I’m sorry for that, too.”
“Are you?” Once again, she’s standing with her chest nearly touching mine, and this time, all that stands between her flesh and me is a thin wasp of a towel.
I swallow. She’s trying to kill me.
It’s getting tough to deny she’s a test from God.
“Are you sorry that you wanted to kiss me? Or sorry you let it almost happen?”
Her words slam through my head like a dunk shot. “I can’t bring myself to be sorry for wanting to kiss you, Sloane. But I am sorry I took it too far. I shouldn’t toy with you when I can never have you.”
She licks her bottom lip as her eyes narrow in thought. “Apology accepted.”
“I’m sorry, too, for being so short with you. As much as I try to pretend I’m alright, sometimes, the dark days win,” she adds, moving towards the dresser.
I watch her remove clothes from the drawers as she dresses as much as she can beneath her towel, trying not to salivate at every exposed inch of her.
“You have nothing to apologize for.”
She tugs on a T-shirt with her back to me before turning.