Page 64 of Savior

“It’s done,” he says. “Never again.”

My throat burns with the need to let a few more tears crawl down my face, but I don’t have the energy for that. I’ve never cried over a man.

I won’t start now.

If I let anyone see emotion in me, however, Luca would be the one.

“I have to get to bed. I have an early morning,” Luca says, prompting me to open my eyes.

He doesn’t move, though. He keeps his forehead pressed against mine a moment longer.

“I’m going to miss you,” I whisper, as if that will help my admission.

“In another life, we would’ve been a love for the ages,” he whispers back, finally straightening up and trekking toward the door.

He pauses with his hand on the doorknob before deciding to shut it. When he’s gone, I shatter into a million pieces.

Losing what could’ve been with Luca feels harder than anything I’ve ever dealt with. There was something hopeful about the way I felt around him. Something raw and honest thatI’ve never let myself feel before. But I can’t let him be my soft place to land.

I need to pull myself out of this shitstorm that I call a life.

I need to rise on my own.

Packing up the meager things he bought for me, I decided at the last minute to leave them as I put on my warmest outfit, slip my feet into boots, and sneak out of my bedroom window.

One look back at the rectory sends dread through my stomach as I head back to my world in the night’s chill.

I know he meant well, but I can’t let Luca protect me for the rest of my life.

He’ll get dragged to hell right alongside me.

I’ve been destined to end up there since the day I took my first breath in this world.

The blindinglights ofHappy Endingstwirl overhead as I enter.

“Hey, Lo,” Jerry says as I enter, giving me a wink. “I haven’t seen you in a while. You good? The boss was wondering the same the other night when he couldn’t get you on your cell.”

That’s what I was worried about, too. I assume my cell phone is still in Don Adamos’s house of horrors, likely smashed to bits.

“Yeah, I lost my phone. I had a rough go at it the last few weeks. I’ve been down with the flu,” I lie.

He looks me up and down, likely noting the weight loss and gaunt appearance of my features. “It looks like you’re on the mend, though, huh? Anyhow, it’s good to see you, girl.”

I smile, tugging into his big bear-like frame for a hug when he opens his arms to me.

Jerry is in his sixties but is mean as a fucking snake when he needs to be.

He’s always watched out for us girls, though.

“Speaking of the boss,” I say, pulling back.

He nods toward the offices on the left side of the stage. “He’s in the back.”

“Thanks.”

I head over, easily passing the massive Friday night crowd. Most are regulars, mixed amongst the few bachelor parties and rowdy college boys we usually get on the weekends.

Once in the back, I push into Giovani’s office, startling him as he bites into a hoagie.

---