Page 40 of Hawk's Sapphire

Because Matteo doesn’t want you either.This is all a game to bring down the bad guys.

I push down the rejection and focus on the task at hand.If he can be all business, so can I.I just have to focus on my reasons for doing all of this.

To find the bastards who tried to by my best friend and stole Carter from his mother, and to find Shea and send her home.To right the wrongs committed against my family while taking down the bastards who chose to fuck with us in the first place.To win back the love of…

No.I’m not doing this for love.Love doesn’t exist for me anymore.I’m going to settle the score, clear Hawk’s name, and end the war with the Devils while rescuing his sister from the pits of hell Nate left her in.Then I’m going home, packing my shit, and leaving Oakridge for good.I can run my company from anywhere.I don’t have to be a part of the Kings to have a good life.

Keep lying to yourself, sweetheart.It’s worked wonderfully so far.

I mentally flip myself the bird then clear my head of all thoughts about the club or Hawk.I need to focus.

We take the elevator to the third floor.Matteo said this floor is for members only and can only be accessed if a person has their membership key card.He leads me to a room on the far left and opens the door.

The room is similar to a hotel with the small seating area with a loveseat and a leather trunk posing as a coffee table and a mini fridge to the left.The lights are dim, but the flick of a switch by Matteo, and a bedside lamp comes on.

The large bed is central to the room.I’ve never stayed in a hotel that has floggers and paddles hung up by shape and size on hooks for display or use on the wall.I’ve never been to a hotel where the bed had straps dangling from the center of the metal canopy or cuffs linked to all four corners of the bed and metal rings attached to the center of what looks to be a sturdy headboard, either.Images of myself being stripped bare and strapped down the bed while Hawk has his wicked way with my flitter through my mind and damn if the idea doesn’t make me wet.

I wonder how many women he’s done this with to fulfill their fantasies.

Goddamn it!“Go away.”The words come out loud and I feel myself blushing.

“What did you say?”Matteo asks with concern.“Does the room make you uncomfortable, Dolcezza?”

“No.I’m fine.I was just thinking about something else.Sorry.”

“Hmm.”He doesn’t elaborate but I can’t help but feel as though he knows what I was thinking about, or rather, who.

I take in the rest of my surroundings -the light gray walls, frames paintings depicting men and women engaging in various sexual acts.It’s actually very tasteful and beautiful artwork.There are black iron sconces on each wall with candles perched on them and a huge pile of blankets made from various fabrics.

I walk around the room touching the sconces, the couch, the blankets, even the that have different paddles have different textures and thickness.I take everything in one piece at a time.

“What’s that smell?Where’s it coming from?”It smells like Nathaniel -cinnamon and cedar, with a hint of vanilla-it’s comforting yet it seems wrong to have his scent lingering in a place like this while I’m here with someone else.Like he’s somehow here with me.

“It’s essential oils coming from the diffuser over there in the corner.Some scents can be comforting, while others can induce arousal or relaxation.”

Or cloud your brain and make your heart ache for home.

Matteo points to the clothing laid out on the bed and instructs me to shower and change.I do as I’m told and just about wet myself when I see the luxurious en suite bathroom.There’s a large rainwater shower with multiple showerheads from all angles and a large spa tub built big enough to hold at least four people.

“Jesus.How many people do they plan to have in these rooms at one time?”

“Multiple partners and companion sharing are a regular occurrence in a place like this, Dolcezza.The Mansion aims to accommodate all needs for their members.”I jump not having heard Matteo enter the bathroom.“Go.Start the shower and get in.We don’t have much time before the first demonstration begins.”

I stand there waiting for Matteo to leave the room, when he doesn’t, I subtly nudge my chin toward the door.When he still doesn’t move, I snap.“You can go now.I can shower on my own.”

“I’m sure you can.In fact, I’m expecting you to.So, get to it.”

Oh shit.

“You’re going to watch me take a shower?”I swallow hard.I wasn’t expecting this.Getting undressed in front of Matteo has been awkward, but I’m not ashamed of my body and got past the nervousness of being naked in front of him, but this seems different.

“No.But we have discussed this at your previous trainings.There may come a time you will have to be nude in front of me and others and you must be comfortable in your own skin to do so.If you show fear, especially in something as simple as this, the men who view you as their prey will aim to humiliate you.To punish you.They will pounce on any weakness, especially bashfulness or modesty.This is not sexual between us, Dolcezza.This is survival.”He says it so smoothly, yet I know by his expression he’s being very serious.This is not about arousal for him, it’s about the job.But he’s wrong in thinking this issimple.

I take a deep breath, settle the clothes he chose for me on the vanity, and start the shower water, testing the temperature.When that’s all done, I lock eyes with Matteo and begin to undress, removing one piece of clothing at a time, slowly, deliberately.If he wants a show,fine.I’ll give him a show.

“You’re doing well.Keep going.”He says shucking his chin, urging me to remove my panties.

He’s not touching me, nor is he looking at my body.His eyes are locked on mine, the whole time.Oddly enough, it’s comforting to know he’s not ogling me, but instead he’s anchoring me in the moment.

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