Page 63 of Hawk's Sapphire

“You were shot?That really happened?”I ask, my question directed at Hawk.

He gives a curt nod, then crosses his arms over his chest.He winces slightly as he takes his new stance, but I saw it.He’s in pain.

“I’m fine.A little banged up and bruised, but I’ll heal.”

Wait.

“Did you just say Hawk is my man?”I turn to Vincenzo who smirks, giving a subtle shrug of his shoulder.

“According to Mr.Hawkins, you two are in a relationship.”

“We’re what now?”I don’t take my eyes off Hawk.Hearing he would tell them such a thing makes my stomach flutter, but I’m not a foolish girl.He would’ve told them anything if it meant they’d bring him to me, especially since he hasn’t been able to track my ass down this time.

“I believe he called you, his woman.”Matteo corrects.“I was shocked to hear it myself, Dolcezza.”Matteo sounds almost disappointed.“You never mentioned you were in a relationship when you asked me to be your Dom and introduce you to the lifestyle.We didn’t have a traditional contract, and I’m not typically known to share, but I would’ve liked to have known that there was another man in your life.It would’ve changed the dynamic, but I’m sure we could’ve come to some kind of arrangement.”

“You didwhat?”Hawk eats up the distance between us bringing himself damn near nose to nose with me.Pointing back at Matteo, he growls angrily, “Youaskedthis motherfucker to be your Dom?As in he’s the Dominant and you’re his submissive?Are you fucking serious right now?How the fuck does you being his submissive and learning about the‘lifestyle’,”he actually air quotes the word.“How does that play into you getting yourself fucked up, half naked in a room full of creepy ass motherfuckers who were there tobuy you and abuse youby the way.All of this is how you planned to find my sister, Sadie?Fucking explain this shit to me because I don’t have a goddamn clue as to how you thought any of this was a grand fucking plan.”

I finally get my feet to move and shove myself chest-to-chest with the cocker asshole who thinks he gets to come in here and push me around, demanding answers.

Hell to the fucking no.

“First of fucking all...”I start shoving my finger in his chest.“You don’t get to come in here and tell me jack shit about anything I’ve chosen to do or why.You told me to leave.You couldn’t see me as your ol’ lady because you can’t trust me.”

“This is why I can’t!”He throws his arms out to his sides.“You pull this kind of shit, getting yourself in a predicament that could not only see you hurt or worse, but it can hurt the club too, Sadie!And you don’t fucking care!You get a hair up your ass and half a hair-brained idea and run with it without considering the consequences.”

“I did consider the consequences you stupid asshat!”I shout.“You think I didn’t consider the consequences?That I didn’t agonize over every fucking detail of this plan before I set anything in motion?You really think I’m that stupid to not weigh out the pros and cons before risking everything and everyone I love?Ichose to let you all hate me!I did it so you wouldn’t have to feel the pain of killing your father, though he hardly warrants the title he was still your dad until he left.I couldn’t let you go through that.So, I bartered with Thomas and cut a deal to make him the bad guy and at the same time grant him the revenge he deserved for being tricked into killing Maggie.”

“You believe…” I don’t let him finish that sentence.

“No!You don’t get to speak!You’re going to shut up and listen for once.You said I could tell you anything, so now you’re going to fucking listen and I’ll tell you.Got me?”I don’t give him time to answer and plow through with everything I’ve been wanting to say for the longest fucking time.

“I have loved you since I was a little girl.I knew it was pointless, because you would never see me as anything more than an obligation, a job for the club.Keeping me safe, it was all that mattered.But you were all wrong!I didn’t need any of you to keep me safe.I never needed any of you to fight my fucking battles or clean up my messes, what I needed was for you to see me.Really fucking see me.But you couldn’t.None of you could.”

“When Avery came to me for help, I jumped at the chance to get her out of Eleanor’s grip.I didn’t know everything, but I knew enough.Did any of you consider I was doing exactly what you yourself would’ve done?By fucking with your system, yeah, I found your weak spot and exposed it, but I also gave Avery her freedom and eventually her family back.All you cared about was I broke through your precious security system.But if the roles were reversed, you know damn well you would’ve done the same fucking thing.”

“You helped her sneak out of the Oasis and she was nearly fucking killed.Hell, she was shot in the shoulder, Sadie!Because you were reckless and sent her to meet Thomas!”He argues.

“I also put a fucking tracker on her.My tracker.I knew I could find her wherever she went and because of her bracelet, the club was able to find her and bring her home safely.Without it, she may not have made it out alive.”

“She wouldn’t have been there in the first place, with or without the tracker if you’d just fucking listened to Pres.”He screams in my face.

“And let everyone continue to lie to her about who she is and who her mother was?”I ask rhetorically.“Everyone, including Gabe had been lying to her, her entire life.Forgive me if I wanted her to find closure about the situation that none of you were willing to give her.”

“It was club business, Sadie!What don’t you understand about that?”

“Oh, I understand plenty.It’s why I chose to do what I’ve done.”I stand back, tears now streaming down my cheeks, but I don’t care.He needs to know.To understand why I’ve done what I’ve done.

“All of this is because of club business, you arrogant ass.”His brow creases.“The Devils work for Cusenza, who was doing Eleanor’s bidding when he sent them to kill Maggie.So, Gabe made his deal with Russ to keep Avery alive and off the Devils’ radar.But he put her in an even worse situation, to keep his secret and keep the club from going to war.Then the Devils came after Skyler, but not before she sacrificed everything for Ethan and the club.And now your sister is being held somewhere in one of these transition homes owned by the Devils, probably being used and abused all because Nate was keeping secrets himself.He was the informant to the Feds, and the one who was helping Trident intercept the shipments of women before Vincenzo got involved.But he never told the Devils about his son.You were his secret club business.He kept you and your mother safe, sacrificing your sister instead.”I wipe the tears angrily off my cheeks.Hating that I’m a blubbering mess, but I’m too far into this now and he needs to know everything.

“I did what I had to, to set shit straight.I went to Vincenzo and partnered with him to take down Cusenza and the Devils and their trafficking ring, with the promise that he would help me free your sister and bring her back to you so you could help her heal.”I’m close to sobbing.I can feel my knees about to give way.

“I allowed you and the club to believe I was a traitor, to shove me aside, so I could be free to find Shea and set her free from whatever hell they’ve put her through.To end the secrets and the lies that have been the foundation of this club.I never wanted to lose you or the club’s trust, but since I never had it to begin with, it seemed easy enough to do.”I sigh.“I was wrong.But it’s too late now.”

“So, your plan in all of this,” Hawk waves his hand around the room motioning to Vincenzo and Matteo who have been eerily silent this whole time.“Was to what?Pose as Matteo’s sub and get yourself trafficked in hopes of finding my sister?All this nearly got you kidnapped, and fuck knows what else, when you could’ve come to Pres and told him what you know and let us fucking handle it and you never would’ve had to lose anyone’s trust!”He yells, stepping into me.

I see Matteo move.Before Hawk has a clue, what’s happening, Matteo has put himself between us, pushing me back behind his broad body.“I’ve had enough of you getting in her face and shouting at her.If this is how you speak to your woman, then perhaps you don’t deserve to have her after all.”

It’s the first time I’ve heard Matteo sound so angry.If I wasn’t so angry I’d be frightened.“You seem to be missing a lot of the conversation.You’re hyper focused on what matters toyouandignoring what matters to Sadie.I understand now why she would come to me to be her Dom and teach her all the things she wanted to learn about herself.Because she knew you’d never see her as anything more than club business.”

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