Page 18 of Dark Passion

“Do you realize that once you left me, it devastated me for years. I couldn’t function with other men—”

“You never functioned with me. That’s why I left. You would rather have me fuck other men and you never touched me. I understand about kinks, but you never would spend the time to show your affection, and I was so young, and I needed you to hold me and at least pretend you loved me, but you never did.”

“I was incapable of love the way you required. You never opened up to me the way you are doing now.”

“It’s too late, Julian. I will never go back to that, so you’d better find someone else. It’s over—”

“I can’t lose you—”

“You have.” I hit the red button and turned off my phone. I stared out into the sunlight as if I was a blind man, and I didn’t hear Mason talking to me, because I was deaf as well as blind to all things around me. Julian had a way of doing that to me, and I realized that he had too much of a hold on me. I knew this would happen, and for the life of me I didn’t know why I’d risked seeing him again.

It was the love of my dogs and Cole.

“Daniel. You’re home. Do you want me and Charlie to go with you to explain to Cole?”

I’m a big boy now, and I don’t need anyone to tell my boyfriend I’ve been a good boy. I can handle this,I thought. “No, Mason, that won’t be necessary.” I inhaled and stepped out of the cab, and when I woke from fear and thoughts of doom, I was standing in front of the security desk.

“Mister Daniel, can you give this envelope to Mr. Cole. And there’s one for you too.” I reached for them and looked down, and I recognized the writing, and it belonged to Julian. I staggered to my door like a man on an all-night bender hoping his partner wasn’t home, so he could have time to clean up his act to face himself and what he’d done to his life.

When I opened the door to my apartment, I knew Cole wasn’t there, and I didn’t want to see Sidney, but I heard someone marching around the guest bedroom. As I approached my spare room, Sidney stood looking in the mirror and talking to himself. When he realized I was standing in the doorway looking at him, he turned with a broad smile.

“You are now looking at a rich man. I sold the property our father gave us, and we are both well off. Not rich as some, but close, and I’m taking my boyfriend on a tour of Europe, and we’re going to live in expensive hotels, and sleep all day and have breakfast in bed.”

“If I remember, you sleep all day now, so what is different?”

“I was depressed. It’s not like having money to get you out of that rut. Now I can afford to marry my new man—”

“Are you talking about Charlie?”

“Heaven’s no. He’s such a flirt, and I’d never ask a man who has more money than me to get married. That’s not my style. Maybe yours, but not mine. I still want to hold on to a little control and dignity. Trust me, those men I was dating treated me like shit when they found out I didn’t have anything—”

“That’s because you lied to them, and you made bad choices.”

“One thing had nothing to do with the other. And you should talk about choices. What about Julian?”

“Yes, I did, and I don’t have time to argue with you, Sidney.”

“I’m moving out, and here’s your check, brother. Now you can get that ring you want and a lot more. You can even remodel your bar. Do whatever you want.” I reached and looked at the check, and then out of gratitude and surprise, I grabbed Sidney and hugged him. He stepped back with a wide smile.

“You are happy with me. I did good with you for once.”

“That you did, Sidney. And if you ever need anything, let me know.” I said it because Sidney spent money like a drunken sailor as the saying went. He was an only child, or he’d liked to think of himself as an only child, and he left everyone to pay his bills, especially our father.

I glanced at the check once more, and Sidney holding a leather bag heading to the front door, with me following behind him, stopped in his tracks and turned on the balls of his feet to face me. I reached and held him again, and this time longer than I thought I would.He’d included in the bank check all the money he’d borrowed, and half of the sale of the apartment and the cabin,I thought.

“I guess I will have to buy the cabin back if I want it,” I said.

“Oh, big brother. I wouldn’t sell that because you loved it. I don’t want it, so do what you want with it.” I’d keep it for me and Cole, and for Sidney if he needed a place to stay after he’d spent the money from the apartment building. The millions we received should just be enough to last Sidney for a few years, if he got a job or invested some of it, which I didn’t think he would. I’d keep some for him, just in case things didn’t work out between him and his friend.

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