Ryker’s soft face sprung out of the bundle of my memories: his warm brown eyes, his slightly crooked nose, his lovely chestnut curls that I used to love messing up by brushing my fingers through them, and that collected, dignified expression of his. He’d wanted me to follow him East. He’d wanted a lot of things from me that, when it’d mattered the most, I’d been unable to give him.
I had no right to feel abandoned. It had been my choice and my choice alone to stay in Elora with the Shop. And I was happy with that choice. Maybe not thousand-pink-butterflies-in-my-stomach happy, but content and comfortable nonetheless.
At least in Elora, I was safe and independent. Here, all I could do was hope for Apollo’s mercy, and I hated that. I hated not having control over my fate. I hated thathewas the one I had to rely on to survive this beast of a forest. You couldn’t throw your safety at the feet of the person who crushed it and expect they wouldn’t trample all over it again. That was just plain stupid. And I was a lot of things, but I was not—
“Nepheli!” Apollo called behind me, but I ignored him, strutting determinedly ahead with my fingers balled into fists at my sides. “Nepheli, slow down, damn it!”
His hand gripped me around the elbow and forced me to stop in my tracks. I jerked away. “Don’t touch me!”
“Why are you mad?”
“I’m not mad. I’m just tired.”
He inched closer.
I staggered backward, facing the other way.
“Look at me,” he said.
Something in his tone made me obey. The way he stood there, edged on anger, with a demand on the verge of his lips, he looked no friendlier than a dark forest god with his guise flung off. “Tell me what the fairies said to you.”
“Nothing I didn’t already know.”
Absurd, uncontrollable tears rolled down my cheeks, and I hated that too. I hated that I was so emotional. I hated that I always got so excited about things only to get myself heartbroken and disappointed in the end. For a moment, I truly, deeply hatedeverythingabout myself, and that was a whole different kind of despair.
I clenched my jaw and picked up my pace, but Apollo blocked my way again with his massive frame.
A deep line emerged between his brows. “You’re crying,” he stated with the blatant puzzlement of a man who’d just seen the sun change color.
I sniffled, wiping the tears off my cheeks. “People with hearts do that sometimes, you know.”
“Are you hurt?” he demanded, raking his eyes over my body. “Did I hurt you earlier?”
An indignant groan welled up in my throat. “You idiot! I’m heartbroken!”
Apollo blinked, bewildered. “Why?”
“Why?” I squealed. “Oh, I don’t know, Apollo, maybe because I’ve spent my entire life thinking magic is this pure, wonderful thing that transforms people’s lives and fills their hearts with curiosity and color and beauty when in reality it’s just…” I heaved on a breath, grasping at my bruised heart. “It doesn’tfeelright. For the first time in my life, I’m surrounded by magic, and all I can feel is frightened and disappointed and painfully overwhelmed.”
Apollo, flushed and confused, reached for my face. It startled me, and he hesitated with his hand paused in mid-air between us. I had the dreadful feeling that my eyes were telling him things I didn’t want him to know. Because instead of pulling away, he swept his thumb over my cheek to brush away a tear before gliding down to take my jaw between his fingers. He tipped up my head, leaving me with no choice but to look straight into his eyes.
His throat bobbed. “Is it okay that I’m doing this?” he rasped.
“I suppose,” I croaked. I couldn’t really say much. His touch was a magic spell. It struck me right in the heart. It destroyed logic with emotion. How unfair it was that he could affect people like that while feeling absolutely nothing about them.
“Magic is a double-edged sword, Nepheli,” he said on a long exhale, withdrawing his hand from me. “It can be both wonderful and dangerous. Beautiful and cruel. Nothing in this world is perfect, darling. Not even magic.”
Reflexively, my hand slipped to the base of my throat, where Apollo had bitten me. “I’m surprised you didn’t leave me back there,” I murmured.
“I got you into this mess, and I will get you out of it,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck a bit awkwardly. “Look, I’m not going to tell you to trust me because, honestly, trusting me has never been proven to be a good idea. But I can at least promise you that you will return to Elora in one piece.” He averted his gaze. “I was going back home anyway, so it’s not like I’m doing you some great kindness by taking you with me or anything. I’m paying off my debt to you, that’s all.”
“How gentlemanly of you,” I deadpanned.
“Well, I’m not a gentleman,” he wryly retorted, bowing before me in mock reverence. “I am a prince.”
“You’re a heathen.”
“Careful, Nepheli,” he crooned, a dark smile playing on his lips. “The other side of your neck looks awfully lonely.”