Page 12 of Rules

"Come on, goofball. Leave him alone." I scoop him up, still growling over my shoulder at his nemesis. "Sometimes you win, sometimes the squirrel wins. That's how this game is played."

Joey and that particular squirrel have maintained a long-standing feud, one I inadvertently started. My misguided attempt at a bird feeder resulted in not a single winged visitor but one exceptionally plump squirrel who claimed my yard ashis personal buffet. Joey took this as a personal affront. An invasion of his territory. They've been locked in psychological warfare ever since.

After picking up breakfast, I pull into a parking spot outside the flower shop, where Auntie is already waiting.

"Hi cutie!" she exclaims as we walk in.

"Me or him?" I ask, Joey wriggling with excitement at the sight of her.

"Both. That's my good boy. Yes, it is, yes, it is. I brought you some veggies." She heads toward the back room, Joey cradled in her arms like royalty.

"You didn't have to bring him veggies. I have coffee in the car. I'll be right back."

"I can do what I want," she scoffs, shooting me a look as she turns the corner. Her voice shifts back to baby addressing Joey. "That mom of yours doesn't think I need to bring you food. But I had some left from last night, and Uncle Bart said to bring it to you. Isn't that a nice uncle thinking of Joey?"

Shaking my head, I retrieve the coffees from the car. When I return, I find Auntie at the back table watching Joey happily munching vegetables from his bowl which she brought and propped up on a chair next to her.

"Yummy, my favorite caramel macchiato. I needed this today. Thank you." She takes a sip from the grande cup. "Ahh, the nectar of the gods. Okay, now what's up?"

My fork is halfway to my mouth, loaded with hash browns. I decide to finish the bite, buying myself a moment to organize my thoughts. Setting my fork down, I take a deep breath and recount everything that happened the night before. Her expression shifts from excited interest complete with wide eyes and a muttering how sexy his actions were. To irritation and annoyance as I reach the abrupt ending.

"Let me make sure I have this right. He wouldn't tell you why he can't date you? And has never told you or even hinted at the reason why?"

"No, he got a call, and had to go. He asked me to please go home," I explain, poking at my eggs.

"And he mentioned nothing the first time you two talked, right?"

"No, not that I remember. I mean, I had a lot to drink that night, so I just remember thinking he's as much of a gentleman as I had hoped he was."

"And you two kissed that first night too?"

"Yes, but nowhere near as passionate as this was."

"Huh," she takes a few bites of her eggs. "There must be something holding him back. I mean, clearly, he is interested, but for some reason, he can't fully commit to it."

"Do you think it's because I'm bigger?" The question comes out smaller than I intended, my deepest insecurity laid bare. "And he just couldn't bring himself to tell me the truth?"

"Aww, Ruth, no." She leans over, taking my hand in hers. "Didn't you say he was trying to assure you that wasn't the reason?" I nod. "There you have it. There must be another reason."

"But what if he just said that because he was face to face with me?" The doubt creeps in despite my best efforts to silence it.

"If that's the case, then your choice is simple. Let the bastard go." She sits back, crossing her arms with finality.

Her bluntness makes me laugh so hard I nearly choke on my toast.

"I don't think he is like that, though," she continues, thoughtfully. "Did you know your uncle sat on the community affairs board with Sheriff Trenton? He always speaks highly of him. Says he was a really nice guy, fair and level-headed." Shesips her coffee. "Of course, the Sheriff never had him up against the wall kissing him. I mean not that I've heard about."

"Now there's an image I'm going to spend the rest of the day trying to get out of my head." I manage to giggle.

"Well, now what do you do?" she asks, setting down her cup.

"I don't know. That's why I'm talking to you, so you can tell me what you think I should do." I spread my hands helplessly.

"I would say launch a full-on assault. New lipstick, a new dress. That sort of thing. It's clear he likes you, so bring on the flirting." Her eyes gleam with mischief. "You've got assets, it's time to use them."

"That is what Mary said to do too. Only she added a new bra."

"Can't hurt. Having the girls perked up is a sure-fire way to get a man's attention. Like I always say, boobs make the world go round." Auntie puts a bite in her mouth, then halfway through chewing, her eyes widen dramatically and her hand flies to her mouth.

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