Page 8 of Rules

I stand frozen, my lips still tingling from his kisses, my body humming with unfulfilled desire. What just happened? What the actual hell just happened?

Chapter 4

Ruth

Pulling myself up from leaning against the wall, I stand with my hands on my hips, pulse still racing from those kisses.

"Tobias!" I spit his name out like it burns my tongue. He looks from Joey to me with an infuriatingly blank expression.

"What was that?" I demand, voice shaking.

"What was what?" He asks with maddening calm, walking over to sit on the corner of my desk. "Why don't you get your stuff together?"

"What was what? What was WHAT?" I gesture wildly between us. "You walk in here like some avenging sheriff, furious that I'm working late. Spouting that it's a rule."

"I wasn't furious," he interrupts, his voice maddeningly level.

"Fine, you walk in concerned," I make exaggerated air quotes, "that I'm working late. Then you pin me against the wall and kiss me like you're a starving man and I'm a five-course meal. You run your hands over me, making me feel things I haven't feltin..." I stop myself, cheeks burning. "And THEN you just back off like someone flipped a switch." I cross my arms, "why?"

Tobias sits there, maddeningly stoic. I can see the fine lines around his eyes, the tension in his jaw. He doesn't look smug or proud of the effect he's had on me - he looks conflicted, almost pained.

"You even called me Roo. Damn it, you owe me an explanation."

"I'm sorry, Ruth," he finally says, eyes meeting mine. "I shouldn't have done that."

My frustration boils over. "I don't want an apology!"

"What do you want?" His dark eyes bore into mine with an intensity that makes my knees weak.

Do I dare say it? Mary's advice echoes in my head: Ask him. If you want the truth about what he's thinking or feeling, he's the only one who can give you the truth. You just have to have the courage to ask him.

"What I want is you." The words hang in the air between us, impossible to take back.

He stands abruptly, as if my confession has physically pushed him. "You don't want me."

"I've wanted you since that night at the Chamber picnic. Before we even kissed." I step closer, emboldened by the memory of his hands on me moments ago. "I always thought you were handsome, but that night, talking with you under the stars... I just didn't know how to tell you I was interested."

There it is, all my cards on the table. Ball's in your court, Sheriff.

Tobias places Joey gently on the floor before walking back to stand close enough that I can smell his cologne, see the faint stubble on his jaw. Close enough to kiss again if either of us leaned forward.

"Ruth." My name sounds like a prayer on his lips. He raises his right hand, running it through my hair, watching the strands slip through his fingers like he's mesmerized. "Ruth, I can't. I mean, we can't be anything. I'm sorry."

The words hit like a physical blow. I swear I can feel my heart plummeting to my feet, taking all the oxygen in my lungs with it.

"Why?" I barely recognize my own voice, so small and fragile.

"I just can't." His fingers continue their hypnotic path through my hair, contradicting his words. "I'm not sure how to explain it."

"Try using your big boy words," I snap, hurt making me sharp.

"I'm not trying to hurt you." His eyes soften, genuinely pained.

"Oh really? If this is how you cheer someone up, I sure would hate to see how you hurt them." I know I'm being unfair, but those kisses weren't just someone wanting a quick fling. They held passion, tenderness, and meaning. "I'm sorry, that was unfair. Just... tell me why. I deserve that much."

"Because I'm not..." He stops, swallows hard. "I'm just not."

"Not what? Attracted to me?" The words taste bitter. "Is that it? Is it because I don't have a tiny waist with long thin legs?" Without breaking eye contact, I catch his hand, stopping its movement through my hair. I step back, creating a distance between us. "Tell me the truth. Is it because I'm not some size zero?"

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