Page 98 of Rules

"She was able to talk when she arrived?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes, she came to shortly after she arrived. She knocked him cold with a water filled five-gallon bucket. I would have loved to have seen her swinging that thing around. Dude was still unconscious when your deputies arrived." There was unmistakable admiration in her voice. "Takes a special kind of bravery to stand up to three guys like that."

"That's Ruth," I said, a flicker of pride cutting through my guilt. "She's strong."

The nurse finished her checks and headed for the door, pausing before she left. "Tobias, you look exhausted, you should try to get some rest yourself."

After she'd gone, I reclaimed my place at Ruth's side, taking her hand in mine again. No way I was leaving her, not right now. I couldn't bear the thought, not even for sleep's sake.

"I should have been there," I whispered. "I'm sorry." The weight of the situation I'd created pressed down on me, heavier with each passing minute.

Ruth's fingers twitched slightly in mine, but her eyes remained closed.

"You fight Roo, I know everything will hurt but you'll be alright." I closed my eyes while rubbing my thumb over the top of her hand. Instantly I was in the dark room sitting next to Joan.

"It's ok to go love, we'll be alright." I opened my eyes to Ruth's room. Shaking my head while I wiped away the tears. "Please Roo, be ok, please. Even if you hate me for what I've done. Just please be ok."

Dr. Salinger popped into my mind. What would it cost me to choose differently this time? The answer was clear now. The real cost hadn't been in choosing to be with Ruth, it had been the opposite, in choosing to stay away. In trying to control everything, I'd controlled nothing, if not making it worse. In trying to keep her safe by staying distant, I'd left her more vulnerable.

I settled deeper into the uncomfortable chair, still holding her hand. The steady rhythm of her breathing and the gentle beep of the monitors created a lullaby of sorts. Despite my determination to keep watch, exhaustion pulled at me. The adrenaline that had fueled my frantic drive was fading, leaving bone-deep weariness in its wake.

I fought against sleep, wanting to be alert if Ruth woke, but my body had other ideas. My head grew heavy, my eyes burning with the effort to keep them open. Eventually, still holding Ruth's hand, I surrendered to exhaustion.

I dreamed of Joan. Not Joan in her hospital bed, pale and withered by cancer, but Joan as she had been before her life was stolen from us. Her vibrant, laughing, full of life attitude. She stood in our garden, surrounded by the flowers she'd loved, looking at me with gentle exasperation.

"You always were stubborn," she said, her voice exactly as I remembered it. "Always so afraid of making a mistake, of what people would think. So much so that you miss what's right in front of you." She shook her head, smiled a sad but loving smile. "Caring for everyone else doesn't mean you don't care for yourself too. What if you made the choice to love her?"

I woke up with a start, momentarily disoriented by the unfamiliar surroundings. Morning light filtered through the blinds, casting thin strips of gold across Ruth's bed. She was still asleep, her hand still in mine.

"Tobias," Holly said, touching my shoulder again.

A glance at my watch showed it was six fifteen. My body ached from the awkward position in the chair, but I couldn't bring myself to regret it. I'd needed to be here, needed to be with her, to know at the end of the night that she was still breathing.

"Here," Holly handed me a coffee. "I thought you could use this."

"How," I cleared my throat and whispered. "How did you know I was here?"

"You know that tracking program you had put on the deputies' phones? Yeah, I added it to yours too." She smiled a bright proud of herself smile. "For the record, I added it to mine too. I figured it wouldn't hurt."

I looked at Ruth, studied her face in the growing light. The bruises seemed darker now, her swelling more pronounced. But her breathing was even, her monitors steady. She was alive. She would heal.

"I figured this is where you would want to be." Holly said while she looked at Ruth. "Elaine said Ruth was going to be fine, sore but fine."

"Yeah, thank goodness. I need to contact the vet and find out about Joey."

"I talked to them last night. He's fine, he'll need recovery time but he'll be fine. It could have been so much worse for both of them."

"Thanks, Holly." I looked at her. "For everything, for putting up with me. But especially for not becoming a detective."

Holly laughed a muffled laugh. "No thanks necessary."

I took a sip of coffee. "Do you know the details of what happened at the shop last night?"

Holly explained what the guys had told her. The information Ruth had shared going in and out of consciousness.

"She said something about one of the men yelling about the scanner. We aren't sure what that means."

"Scanner?" The realization smacked me. "That's how they're gone before we get there. They're using police scanners."

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