Page 59 of Heart Strain

He nods. “Stay on your side of the bed; no touching.”

I grab a pillow and shove it in his face with a laugh, but he scoots over to give me more room.

He grabs it and stuffs it under his head with another sigh. “I hate being home alone.”

“I know you do.”

He suddenly looks at me with glossy eyes and an expression that breaks my heart as he whispers, “I miss him, Holds. I miss him so much.”

My own eyes fill because his pain is palpable. “I know, Gav. I’m so sorry.” His sorrow makes the worry for my brother come to the forefront. I know Hendrix is doing okay now, but I’m still worried since he has a long recovery ahead. And now I’m dating his partner, which means… I’m dating a cop. What if something happens again? What if it happens to Jameson next time?

Gav nods and a little sob comes out of him, but he turns away from me, then chokes out, “Peanut?”

My dog is awesome, so he hops up on the bed beside Gavin and licks his face as my best friend curls up beside him. His pain and grief roll off him in waves, and suddenly, all I can think about is if Drix or Jameson gets shot at again. What if one of them gets hurt? I don’t think I could take it if Drix was shot again, and I honestly can’t bring myself to think about Jameson being hurt because I’m afraid if I do, I’ll fall apart entirely. I rub Gav’s back for a few seconds, then whisper, “I love you, Gav.”

“Love you, too, Holds.”

I lie there for a long time and Gav falls asleep, hugging Peanut, so I grab my phone and pull up my texts with Jameson.

Me: Are you awake?

Jameson: I am now.

Me: Sorry. Go back to sleep.

Jameson: What’s wrong?

Me: I’m fine. Go back to sleep, Foxy.

Before I can set it on the nightstand, it vibrates in my hand, so I quickly swipe to answer it and whisper, “Hold on.” I make my way out into the hallway and say, “Hey.”

“What’s wrong, Holds?” Jameson’s voice is deep and gravelly from sleep.

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m sorry I woke you and made you worried.”

He hesitates. “Did something happen with Gavin?”

My brow narrows. “No, he’s asleep with Peanut already.” I glance back at the door, then lean against the hall wall. “He fell asleep in my bed… crying.”

“Is he okay?”

“I think so.”

He’s quiet for a moment. “Okay…? Is this… are you… did you…?”

I wrinkle my nose. “Ew. No. He’s just sleeping there. He couldn’t sleep, so he came in my room and talked to me for a minute, then went to sleep. It’s something we’ve been doing for years, I guess. Peanut’s in the bed with him, so I’m gonna go sleep on the couch.” Normally I’d sleep in the bed with him, too, but I feel like Jameson would be upset by that, so I’m not even mentioning it. Quickly and quietly, I check in on Gav and Peanut, then head for the living room.

“Okay, so… what did you want to talk about when you texted?”

I take a deep breath before whispering, “I’m worried… about you.”

“Why are you worried, baby?” The endearment and his soft voice melts me, and I wish I was beside him so I could sink into his strong arms.

“What if when you go back to work, you get hurt like Drix?”

He’s quiet for a moment, and I’m afraid I’ve said the wrong thing. I’m new at this whole dating thing, so I don’t really know what I’m doing. But then he says, “I can’t promise nothing will happen, but I can promise that I’ll be careful.”

I sigh and nod even though he can’t see me. “I wish you were here,” I blurt and feel my cheeks heat up.

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