Page 71 of Heart Strain

I sit in silence remembering the way my uncle clenched his jaw and balled his fist onto the dining room table the last time I was there. “Anyway, at first he only demanded I start making it to Sunday dinner with the family again. The first Sunday he said nothing, then the next one he spent talking about family and how important it was. The following week my mom went from shoving those places down my throat to being sugary sweet. I hadn’t seen her act like that since I was a little kid and we were at a function. All of a sudden Jovany and Lou were hanging out at the house asking me to hang out with them. We hadn’t ‘hung out’ since we were in middle school. The next Sunday my uncle started in on how it was up to all of the men in the family to restore honor after my dad had disgraced us.”

“Oh, Foxy,” Holds breaths out, turning his head to kiss my chest again.

“I got up and walked out. The next week my mom was worse than before. There were pamphlets set out all around the house offering options for recovery. I got to where I was spending all my time at Drix’s house so I could avoid her. At least my brother and cousin stopped pretending they wanted to be best friends, though. It had been creeping me out. I skipped the next Sunday and my mom threw one of her famous temper tantrums. The ones she used to throw at my dad when he embarrassed her in front of the family, so I promised I’d be there the following week. What they didn’t anticipate was your brother going with me. It seemed like they were going to let it pass, but after dessert, my uncle laid down an ultimatum: Say I was joking, go to one of the places my mom had found and he’d pay for it, or leave town.”

“What?” This time Holds jerks out of my hold and sits up to face me. His face is bright red, and his eyes are flashing sparks of electricity. “He didn’t have the right to tell you to leave town.”

I bark out a harsh laugh. “Chief Caputo didn’t seem to think that was the case. We argued and it got nasty. He was hurling insults about my dad at me, saying I’d never amount to any more than he did. He stood up to tower over me, so I jumped up, too, and Cappi—my cousin Lou—slipped between us and got in my face. Said he was going to teach me a lesson for disrespecting his father and the family. It’s the only time Jovany said a word. He grabbed Cappi back and told him to stay out of it. Cappi shook him off at first, but my brother didn’t back down and yanked him back. By then my uncle was outraged. I don’t think he thought I’d argue with him like that. No one in the family, or anywhere else does, you know?” Holds nods, so I continue, “So that’s when he yelled at me to get out of his house, and he said I may as well not show up for training because I wouldn’t be long for the academy. He was so angry that I think he forgot Hendrix was there, because he would’ve never said it with a witness outside of the family.”

“What happened?” he whispers.

“Your brother, my champion, holds up his cell phone and says, ‘That’s not going to happen. I’ve recorded every word said in the last twenty minutes. We’ve also already talked to Instructor Morales and Jameson’s sexuality has no bearing on him continuing in the academy.’ My uncle’s face turned purple, Holds. He looked like he was going to kill me. Then my mom says, ‘Where do you plan to live, Jameson Fox? Because not only are you never welcome here again, you’re not welcome in my home.’”

“Oh my god, your mother kicked you out?” Holds raises his hand up to clasp it over his mouth, tears swimming in his eyes.

Reaching out, I pull his hand down and cup it in mine. “Yeah, but then your brother surprised me again. He said, ‘No shit he won’t be going back to your house. That place hasn’t been a home to him since his father left. No, he’ll be coming home with me where he’s wanted. I have plenty of space.’ So that’s what I did, and I stayed with him until after we’d graduated and were on patrol.”

“He never told me.”

“Drix knew I was ashamed. I mean here I was, a college graduate making my way through the police academy and my own mother was willing to let me be homeless for not… I don’t know… doing what I was told. I didn’t want anyone to know. Eventually some of the guys we graduated with knew I lived with Drix, but they thought it was because I didn’t want to live with my mother anymore. I was a grown man, after all, so it’s not like anyone expected me to stay living with her. But…” I trail off and look at him helplessly. “That’s the last sordid story of Jameson Fox and the Caputo family.”

“Oh, Foxy.” Holds leans forward and pulls me into him. I’m careful not to squish any of our pets as my body shakes and the tears fall hard and fast down my face, and I let myself be comforted by this amazing man. The Weston brothers are no doubt the most incredible people in the world.

Finally running out of tears, I begin with, “I’m—” and am cut off by the shake of his head. With a firm grip on my hand, Holds stands and pulls me up next to him before tugging me into the bedroom, closing the door behind us, not only shutting out our pets, but the ugliness of the world.

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