Page 76 of Heart Strain

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“It’s okay, Foxy. You needed your rest. Now we’ll spend the rest of the day with Gavin and packing up. It’ll be fun, okay?”

“Yeah.” I sigh. Holds grins before giving me a quick kiss; before he can back off, I grab the back of his head and flick my tongue between the seam of his lips so I can taste him before we have to pack. A loud knock on the window startles us apart, and I lean around Holds to see Gavin waving and laughing. “Dammit.”

Before I can steal another quick kiss, Holds is out of the car and locked in his best friend’s embrace. “Come on, Peanut. I guess you want to get some Gavin love, too.” The poor dog whines as he stares out the driver’s side window. Reaching over, I pick him up and exit the car. Peanut pees as soon as his three little feet hit the cement, but then he’s bolting for the still hugging men.

Apparently, he rates as high as Holds because with a cry of, “Pea-Man,” Gavin lets go of Holden and is hunched down cuddling the dog. The look Holds throws my way is nervous, and I can’t have that, so I pull Gavin, along with a quivering Peanut, up and give him a hug of my own. As one arm clutches the dog and the other squeezes around my back, Gav says, “No wonder you’re moving, Holds. So many muscles.” And that sets the tone for the rest of our visit.

We don’t have a lot of packing to do because Gav surprises Holden by having most of it done. When Holden complains, Gavin explains he wants to spend every second together enjoying each other’s company and soaking up these last precious days in Ithaca. Of course, this makes both guys cry, and the hugging begins again. The day is a roller coaster of emotions as they take me to all of their stomping grounds, old and current. Laughter and tears roll and ebb in and out like the waves in the ocean. Their relationship is special, and it’s not lost on me how much they need each other. Not in a codependent way either, but the way they interact and volley off each other enhances their inner-strength and kindness. When it’s time for bed, I don’t even complain when Gavin climbs into bed on the other side of Holden. Holds’s promise of a blowjob in the shower in the morning doesn’t hurt.

The next morning—after Holds has sucked me dry—the three of us have breakfast at their favorite diner. “I’m really going to miss this place,” Holds says. “Foxy, you have to try their pecan buns. They’re homemade and the glaze they use is to die for.”

Gav nods his agreement. “But you should also get the hearty man’s special. It’s got a little of everything.”

Holds nods, too. I chuckle quietly, but Holds notices. “What?”

“You two are comical. You parrot each other constantly.”

Gav’s face droops for a second, then his gaze turns sly. “Sooooo… Foxxxxy… did Holden ever tell you about the straight guy he crushed on in high school?”

Whirling in the booth to glare at my boyfriend, I say, “No. And who was that, baby?”

Holds’s face infuses with color, as he mutters, “I’m so going to make you pay for this, Gavin.”

Gav cackles away. Attempting to draw enough air to speak, he sputters, “Go ahead, Holds. Tell him who it was. If you don’t, I will.”

Holds mutters something so quietly I don’t catch it. “Say that again a little louder, please. I can’t hear you. Who had your attention in high school?” I’m acting mad, but I’m not, more curious what a young Holden found desirable in his awakening.

Clearing his throat, he says a little louder, “You, Foxy. It was you.”

He’s fiddling with the napkin in his lap, so he doesn’t catch the look on my face, but Gavin does. “Wait. What’re you making that face for? Jameson… no way!”

Holds’s eyes dart between me and his, once again, cackling friend. “What I miss?”

“You were my crush in high school, too,” I admit.

Holds’s eyes widen before he launches himself across the small space between us and about cuts off my circulation with the steel bands of his arms around my neck. I squeeze him back, breathing in his freshness, breathing in home.

Gavin gives us a few minutes, then says, “You two really were meant for each other.” As we separate and turn to face him, he smiles softly. The pain he’s been trying, unsuccessfully, to hide subsides a little. “You know what? Holds, you haven’t told me a lot about the new job. Speak. I want to know everything.”

Holds reaches across the table and grabs Gav’s hand. I know this means a lot to him. Since we’ve been here Gav has avoided all conversation of what Holden’s new life will look like. He’s asked after Drix and offered some tricks that may help us get him on track; as a PT he’s encountered this behavior himself in clients. He’s even shown interest in how it’s been for me going back to work and partnering with Aiden, but he’s carefully avoided discussing Holds.

“I don’t know a lot yet since I don’t start until next week.”

“What was the name again? What will your hours be? Details. I need them all.”

Holds laughs and then launches into a spiel about his new job at Living Things Veterinary Hospital. He’ll be working three days a week, on call every four days for emergencies, and then donating his spare time to House of Paws and Claws. He’s excited to give back to the place that was a lifeline in his youth. Gavin sits enraptured by every word, and I know it’s all going to work out. For my part, I intend to do whatever it takes to make sure these two talk and see each other as much as possible, no matter what life throws our way.

---