Page 39 of Digging Deeper

I stand there, shocked and disappointed.

More disappointed than I have any right to be. I haven’t wanted someone to kiss me so badly in a really long time. And suddenly, that loneliness that’s always on standby hits me with a vengeance. The ache in my chest is a gnawing pain that’s growing with every step Drix takes away from me.

It’s ridiculous. It’s stupid. I know it is, but the pain doesn’t care, it only keeps growing.

I know he’s not into me, that he can’t be, but for a split-second, I thought that maybe…

With a sigh, I rub at my eyes, trying to prevent a full-blown attack. Icannot,absolutelycan not, cry right now. Even if he would’ve kissed me, what did I expect to happen? It’s not like he truly wants me; it’s not like he wants todateme. And let’s be honest, I’m broken in that department, anyway. There’s no fixing me. The dating gene flew the coop years ago.

Taylor had shattered me long ago, and there is no coming back from that, there’s no glue to hold my fractured heart together. There never will be.

“Gavin?” Drix says softly, bringing my attention back to him before any memories can ruin me for the day.

“Yeah?”

“You alright?” His voice is softer than usual, and he looks worried. I can’t help but wonder what he sees right now. I’m sure I look a mess, I’m sure he can tell that I’m a second away from crying.

I take a deep breath and nod at him. “I’m fine.”

“I found three more in the dining room, want to take a break and go work out for a bit? I promise I’ll keep searching later.”

Even though seeing him sweaty isn’t really going to help, maybe moving and pushing myself will stop me from having Taylor overtake my thoughts, so I nod. “Sure. I’ll go change.” I rush to my room, slam the door shut, and squeeze my eyes closed. “You’re okay, you’re not alone. You’re okay, you’re not alone,” I whisper to myself over and over again until I have control. Until I push everything back down and hold my shattered pieces together with everything I am.

I’ve been looking forward to hanging out with Drix all week. I’m not about to let one little… almost kiss, or whatever the hell that was, ruin it for me. He’s my friend, that’sallhe is, that’s all he’ll ever be. I’m okay with that, more than okay. I love being friends with him and living here. Everything is fine. Good, even.

Once I’m sure I can keep it together, I head down to Drix’s workout room in the basement, finding him already sweaty as he lifts weights on a bench.Dear god, could he be any sexier?

“You started without me,” I say, trying to act normal.

He says, “You took too long. I walked down those steps, which you know takes forever with the walker, and I waited for an extra ten minutes before I started. I even found another twelve spiders in here. I thought you chickened out.”

I gasp. “I would never!”

He grins. “Now give me twenty minutes on that bike to warm up.” He points to the exercise bike. “I already set it up for you.”

“You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?”

He shoots me a look I can’t interpret. “I’m the one in charge down here, and I’m going to work you hard.”

My eyes widen, and I can’t help but wonder if he realizes how dirty that sounds. Or maybe it’s just me. I really wish my dick hadn’t noticed because it’s already half-hard and plumping up with every second Drix stares at me with those hooded eyes and sexy, sweaty arm muscles on display.

Oh man, working out with him is going to be pure torture. But at least there’s no room for Taylor down here, and no possible way for the loneliness to reach me when Drix is constantly in my orbit and non-stop talking to me. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him so chatty, but maybe he knows this is exactly what I need so I can keep my shit together.

15

Hendrix

“Ah. Look at you. Woohoo,” Jameson crows as I hobble out of the house on my cane. “Looking good.”

The one thing I appreciate about Jameson is how he continues to casually lean against the squad car instead of running up to help me. “Hey,” I say, panting a little when I finally reach him.

He opens the door to the passenger side, making a sweeping gesture to usher me in. “Your chariot awaits, partner.”

I school my features so he can’t see my inner turmoil. Yes, I did start focusing on walking again rather than trying to decide my next career move from the confines of a wheelchair, but that doesn’t mean I’ve decided to return to the force. That’s not a conversation I’m ready to have today, though. The real reason I’m going with him today is to escape Gavin. Even when he’s not home, he’s everywhere. His light fruity scent, a pair of shoes, a jacket; nothing annoying or noteworthy, but all things that keep my mind on him throughout the day and it’s driving me crazy. If all that wasn’t bad enough, he forgot to put his clothes in the dryer yesterday morning, so I loaned him my police academy shirt so he could get comfortable after work. Then I had to spend the whole night watching him walk around in it. Who knew a man wearing a shirt that hung on his slighter frame with my name on it would keep me half-hard? But it wasn’t just a man, it was Gavin.

To change the direction of my thoughts, I ask, “So where’s Aiden today?” as Jameson fastens his seatbelt after getting into the car.

“I’m not sure exactly. Some appointment with his mom. He was stressed about it until I told him I’d just bring you along.” He smiles over at me before pulling out onto the road.

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