Page 55 of Digging Deeper

“And he did,” I say. Outside of Gavin, I didn’t know anyone as good or as kind as my brother. Thinking back to that time in our lives, our parents just dying, being separated, and Holds’s belief that I didn’t care about him as much as I did, he really did need someone. Now I wish I’d had the opportunity to know Taylor, too. “I’m sorry I was so jealous of you all those years. I didn’t know… I guess I didn’t ask, either. I guess I was kind of a jerk when it came to you.”

This time Gav puts his hand on mine and forces me to let go enough he can roll over so we’re face to face. “I think you’re being too hard on yourself. Holds and I bonded over loss. You two were brothers, you had a history, but neither of you had all the facts. It was different for Holds and me.” He raises a hand up, trailing it down my cheek. “Thank you for sharing your brother with me. I’m not sure how I would have made it without him. He was there for the funerals, and he’s the one who convinced me to go back to school. I’d have been lost without him.”

Leaning forward, I brush my lips gently against his, then press our foreheads together. “I’m glad you had him, then. You’re a natural at your job. And you’re so good at it.”

“You’re biased,” he says, chuckling.

“No, I’m not. I told you, if it hadn’t been for you—”

“Someone would have reached you, Drix. I know it. You’re too stubborn to have accepted being in a chair forever if it was possible to walk.” The way his hand strokes over my shoulder blade makes me think he means that as a compliment, not a dig at how bull-headed I can be, even when I’m wrong.

Trailing my fingers lightly up his side, I respond in kind. “And I don’t think it’s just the training you have that makes you so good at what you do. Some of it is how you are with people. It’s hard to believe that you suffered through a crappy home life and bullying. You could be bitter, especially after losing your family, but you’re not. You’re kind and warm, funny. Generous.”

A shiver runs up Gav’s body. I’m not sure if it’s from the feel of my fingertips against his skin, or if it’s from my words. “Stop. You’re going to embarrass me.”

Brutus lets out a clipped bark from the edge of the bed. We look down toward his pets, both of whom are eyeing us belligerently. “I guess we better take the kids out. Wow, if looks could kill, huh?”

Gav snorts. “If you gotta go, you gotta go.”

I kiss the end of his nose before I roll up into a sitting position. “Let’s get this day going, then.”

* * *

The next couple of days,I spend a lot of time thinking about Gav and all he lost. Hell, I spend a lot of time wondering what my and Holds’s life might look like if our parents hadn’t died. As much asOperation Woo Gavinhas been about showing him how important I think he is—how special—I find myself chilling out on the hardcore romancing and just settling in with him.

“So I guess you’re done trying too hard, huh?” Gavin asks as he snuggles into my side on the couch. We’d just come in from taking the dogs on averyshort walk, since I’d gone without my cane and Gavin didn’t want me pushing it too much yet.

I raise my arm behind him, wrapping my hand around his neck and kneading the knots I can feel under his skin. “Nah. It’s not that. The whole point was to give you things you wanted. I didn’t know enough yet to know what you need.”

“Oh.” He stops channel surfing, shuts the TV off, and lays the remote down next to him. “What have you decided I need?”

“This. Breakfast together. Texting and checking in with each other. Chatting about our day. Taking care of the furbabies. Meals together. Snuggling. Normalcy.”

Gav doesn’t say anything at first. Finally he says, “A feeling of family,” then he stands up. He turns to gaze down at me, a new lightness to him, and holds out his hands. “Come on.”

“Where we going?” I ask, chuckling as I let him pull me up. His strength doesn’t surprise me anymore, but it still amazes me. For a little guy, he’s stronger than he looks.

“Would you like to come to bed with me?” he asks, peeking up at me through his lashes.

I search his face. There’s no coyness, but there’s also no hesitation. I had never planned to rush him into sex, or anything resembling it, even before he told me about Taylor. The night he told me all he’d lost, it ceased to be about waiting because of his friendship with my brother, or because I didn’t want to ruin a great roommate situation. It became about building something lasting. I know I’ll never take Taylor’s place in his heart, but I want him to know every touch means something to me. Cradling his face between my hands, I say, “I’ll go into your room with you, but if all we do is sleep, that’s fine. Okay?”

We hadn’t slept in the same bed since the night he’d been awoken by his memories. I’d been tempted on nights since to ask him if he needed me, but I was reluctant. I didn’t want him to think I was pressuring him, nor did I want to intrude on his solitude. Turning his head slightly, he kisses my palm. “I know that. I just… I want to be close to you.”

At my nod, he leads me into his room, closing the door firmly on Nana and Brutus before they can come in. He hesitates as he steps toward the bed, but a quick search of his face only shows a hint of shyness, so I pull him into my arms and attack his neck, smacking loud-buzzing kisses. Once he’s laughing and squirming to get away, I lift my head. “This is our show, whatever we want it to be. No pressure.”

Gav’s eyes wander my face. “Thank you.” He steps back and lifts his shirt over his head, dropping it to the ground. He chews on his bottom lip for a moment, before saying, “This would be easier for me if you strip, too.”

My eyes are drawn to his lean torso, the desire to lick between his nipples and down to the dusting of hair disappearing into his pants is overwhelming. “How far, Gav?” I ask, wanting my boundaries firmly established before we go any further. His comfort is the most important thing to me. We’ve had conversations in the last few days discussing bits and pieces of his life since Taylor. I’ve done my best to keep it light, even though the subject is anything but. I know he’s only tried a couple of times to get involved with anyone and that it hasn’t gone well. He’s had sex, but not often, and not without a hint of sorrow. The last thing I want is to ever cause him regret again. My epic fuck up last time was once too many.

His chin comes up as he steels his spine and holds my gaze. “Let’s at least strip down to our boxers so we’re comfortable. I can’t promise—”

I cut him off. “I told you already, even if we lay together, I’ll be happy.” He nods, so I put my hand over my shoulder and yank my shirt up over my head, tossing it the ground. Gav and I maintain eye contact as we both reach for the band of our sweats, pushing them down our legs at the same time until we’re left facing each other in our underwear. I hold my breath, waiting. When his gaze flickers down, and then rises slowly back up my body, it’s like a caress on my bare flesh. When his tongue darts out and licks over his bottom lip, I groan.

I’m like a tightly coiled wire. It’s taking everything in me to hold back and not step into his personal bubble, but then he’s in motion. Moving toward me and throwing his arms around my neck. The desire to pick him up under that luscious bubble butt is tempting, but my legs aren’t ready for that.Note to self: work out harder.I have to settle for claiming his mouth in a deep, moist kiss as I back him up and onto his bed, stretching out on top of him.Exploring his mouth, my new favorite pastime, amps up my desire. As his tongue flicks against mine and runs along my teeth, I moan. Breaking free, I skim my lips over his cheek to his ear, teasing his earlobe with my tongue before blowing lightly over it. Smiling into him as I hear his helpless whimper.

Skimming down farther, I go back to my favorite spot on his neck, this time swirling the tip of my tongue over the skin there. “Oh, that’s new,” he says, his voice husky, with a trace of amusement.

Nipping him with my teeth, I earn a full chuckle before I continue my journey down, rubbing the tip of my nose through his happy trail until his hips are bucking up, seeking more. I straddle his knees as I kneel to pull his navy blue boxers down to the top of his thighs, my breathing grows ragged at the sight of his thickly-veined, rock hard cock. It’s beautiful. As much as I want to swallow it down, it’s not the body parts that’s inhabited my daydreams. My voice is husky as I plant my hands on his hips, saying, “Roll over, sweetheart.”

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