Page 2 of Digging Deeper

I scrub my hand down my face, not wanting to talk about the nightmares that are keeping me from sleeping at night. “No. I’m sorry.” Dropping my hands to my side, I stare up at the ceiling. “I don’t mean to worry you.”

Holds’s hand grabs mine. “You have to do better, Drix. You have to at least try. You’ll never get on your feet if you’re not even willing to get out of bed.”

“But what if it doesn’t matter, Holds? What if I never walk again?” I ask softly.

He doesn’t let my hand go, but his face is suddenly over the top of mine. “You won’t know unless you try, Drix. You have to want it, and I know you, this isn’t you. You’ve never given up a day in your life. You’re a fighter. What can I do? How can I help?”

“You’re doing it now.” Using our clasped hands to tug him off his feet, he squeaks as I pull him down so that I can hug him. I may not be able to use my legs, and I may not be doing what I’m supposed to for regaining mobility in the bottom half of my body, but I have been working with arm weights. There’s a long way to go before I’ll regain the muscle I lost while in a coma, and my brother’s a runner, not a lifter, so I know he’s exaggerating me pulling him over a little, but I love him for it.

“We’re going to get through this, Hendrix,” Holds whispers in my ear.

“I know.” Too bad I don’t believe it.

2

Gavin

Walking into the living room, I find two of my favorite people: Holden, my best friend and the only family I have, and his boyfriend Jameson, my new friend who’s really kind and sweet and perfect for Holds. They’re cuddling on the couch with a pile of pets around them—a three-legged pit bull and two kittens—watching TV and whispering. I sorta feel bad interrupting, so I decide to go back to my room and wait to talk to them.

As I turn, Holden says, “Did you hear from them, Gav?”

I stop in my tracks and face them with a big smile. “I got the job!”

Holds lets out a loud squeal and jumps up, crashing into me as he pulls me into a hug. I can’t help but laugh at him and squeeze him back. He whispers, “You’re staying? You’re really moving here?”

“Looks like it,” I whisper back.

He hugs me for a good minute before letting me go, and when he pulls away, his eyes look shiny. I can’t blame him, I’m emotional, too. When Holden had decided he was moving back to Baltimore, I’d felt like my life was over. He’s the only person I have left in my life that cares about me, and I’d been afraid of losing him. Luckily for me, my best friend is amazing, and even though we’d been cities apart, we talked constantly, and when he’d heard of a job opening for a physical therapist, he convinced me to apply. Now it looks like I’ll be making the move from Ithaca, New York to Baltimore as well.

Jameson smiles at me from his spot on the couch. “Congratulations, Gavin.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you like,” he adds with a genuine smile.

My heart warms a little. It’s so easy to see why Holds fell for the guy. He’s like a big, muscly marshmallow. “I’ll start looking for a rental this week. The guy asked when I could start, and I said anytime, so it looks like I’m starting on Monday.”

“There’s no rush,” Jameson says.

Holds grabs my hands. “Seriously, you should stay with us for a little while. I like having you here.”

I like it too, but I feel bad messing with their plans all the time. “I’ll stay this week, but I gotta find somewhere soon so I can cancel my lease in Ithaca and bring all my stuff down.”

Holden eyes me for a few seconds before his eyes light up. “What if you stay at my parents’ old house? Drix isn’t going to be home for a while, so it’s just sitting there.”

“Um… shouldn’t you talk to your brother about that first?”

Holds waves me away. “I will, but this will be terrific. You can house sit while he’s at the rehab center. You’ll be able to bring all your crap here and everything. It’s perfect.”

Being stuck in that big house by myself sounds like I’ll be having lots of lonely nights. But I’m used to the loneliness. Loneliness has become my constant companion, so it won’t be much different than it is now. After thinking about it for a few seconds, I say, “Only if it’s okay with your brother.”

“It’ll be fine.” Holden grins at me. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

I smile back. “Me too.”

He pulls me onto the couch beside him as he snuggles back with Jameson. I watch as Jameson wraps an arm around Holden’s shoulders and kisses his temple. The movement appears so natural and automatic that a small pang of jealousy ripples through me. But I push it away. I’m truly happy that my best friend found someone so great.

Holds says, “We were talking about Drix before you came out.”

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