Page 35 of Digging Deeper

“Can I come sit with you?” I don’t answer, just hold my arms out wide to him. So thankful that he’s seeking me out for comfort instead of storming out. He scrambles off of the recliner and launches onto the couch. I tuck him in under my chin, holding him as close and as tightly as I can. “I…” He takes a deep steadying breath. “I’m not sure I can handle talking about this anymore today, okay? But another day, can we…”

“Whenever you want. I’ll tell you anything I know. We can talk it to death if that’s what you need.”

I feel his face brush against my chest in a nod. “We’re definitely going to talk about Gavin. Soon. He’s my best friend, Drix.”

I chuckle. “I’m well aware of that. I won’t—”

He cuts me off with a hand slapped across my mouth. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. But you can’t hurt him, Drix. He’s fragile. More fragile than I’ve ever been.”

“I know,” I say softly. I really want to ask him why. Plead with him to tell me why Gavin’s eyes are so haunted, no matter how much he thinks he’s hiding it. Why his eyes are red-rimmed sometimes in the morning. I want to know his story. Everything. But I won’t pry. It’s not my brother’s place to reveal his best friend’s secrets any more than it’s my place to know them if Gavin doesn’t tell me himself. Stroking Holds’s hair back from his forehead, I rest my cheek against the top of his head. “I’m so sorry, lil’ bro. When our parents died, all I was focused on was us having a relationship again. That thought is what got me through their death and you leaving for college. I’m sorry if I didn’t say enough, or do enough, or whatever.”

Before he can answer me, the sound of the door knob alerts us to Gavin returning. As soon as he’s in, the smile falls swiftly from his face. “Are you guys okay?” he asks with concern while unfastening the dogs. I shrug one shoulder in response. “I’ll just go to my room and get—”

“No,” Holds says, voice still thick with tears. When he stretches out the arm that’s been lying across my stomach toward Gav, his friend is across the room in a flash and snuggling up on the other side of him, encircling him with his whole body. Both dogs come, too. Nana plants her head on my leg, and Brutus noses into Holden’s with a whine. We sit in silence except for the shuddering sniffles coming from Holds every now and then.

“What can I do?” Gavin asks eventually.

“Just don’t let go,” Holds replies.

“Never,” Gavin says.

And every bit of resentment I’d ever harbored toward him, all the bitterness and loss from missing Holden that I’d mistakenly aimed at Gav over the years washes away. Leaving me so thankful my brother had found him. His gaze meets mine over the top of Holds’s head and I see the water pooling in his beautiful brown eyes. He doesn’t even know what we’ve discussed, but his friend is hurting. Then he shocks me, mouthing to me, “Are you okay?”

A warmth I’ve never felt before blooms in my chest. I nod my head but look away, feeling hesitant and unsure about my feelings for Gavin. I’m beginning to suspect they have way more to do with what’s on the inside of him than the gorgeous package on the outside.

14

Gavin

As I let Nana and Brutus inside for the tenth time today, I hear a startled shout coming from Drix’s bedroom, and I can’t help but chuckle. I’ve been awake for nearly two hours waiting for that. So worth it.

A few minutes later, Drix walks into the kitchen, using his walker for assistance. He’s come so far in the last few weeks, and I’m happy he’s walking straight away this morning instead of using the wheelchair—although, he’ll use that when he’s tired or sore.

“Gavin, what in the hell is wrong with you?” He shoots me a scowl, and I grin in return.

“You didn’t like your present?” I ask in a sweet voice as innocently as possible. Unfortunately, I can’t keep a straight face and a giggle breaks free. Crap.

His scowl deepens. “Why would you put a plastic spider on my pillow?”

“Congratulations, you found your first spider!” I wiggled my fingers at him.

He huffs at me and shakes his head.

“Okay, one, Mr. Grumpy Butt, there’s a pot of coffee already made over there for you. Two, let me explain.” He sighs and makes his way over to the coffee pot, effectively ignoring me, but I don’t let that deter me and I continue on, “I was at the store yesterday, and they already have Halloween decorations out, so of course I had to look at them—”

“Of course.” I ignore that.

“—and I found this huge bag of those plastic spider rings. They had different colors, too; black, green, purple, and orange, which is cool. Don’t you remember loving those when you were a kid?”

“No.”

“Ugh. Drink your coffee so you’ll act like a human being again. You’re so grumpy in the mornings.”

“How can someone be so hyper this early?” Drix mutters into his mug as he leans against the counter.

“I’ve been awake for two hours already.”

“How many cups of coffee have you had this morning?” He’s trying to keep that grump face on, but I can see the amusement in his pretty eyes.

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