Page 41 of Digging Deeper

“No complaints. But, hey, you make good food, people come. My dad taught me that was the first rule of business.” He knocks on the table with his fist and heads back behind the counter.

“How’s my brother?” I ask. Jameson hasn’t brought up Holds all day, and I appreciate it. Everyone has been letting us figure out our issues at out own pace without interference. It’s got to be hard for Jameson since he’s dating my brother and is my best friend, as well as Gavin since he’s Holds’s best friend, but my roommate.

“He’s getting there. I think the shock of your mom having a brother he never heard one word about is finally wearing off.” I sigh, scrubbing my hand down my face. “Hey, Drix. He’s not upset with you at all, you know. He doesn’t consider any of this your fault.”

“But I could have told him a long time ago. Instead, I tried to act like our home had been hunky dory. I should’ve…” I trail off because I’m not exactly sure what I would’ve said or how, maybe I should’ve told him as soon as my dad told me.

“Drix, Holds knows you were both kids. If anything, I think he’s blaming himself for not just telling you why he didn’t like to come back here. He’s feeling guilty that you thought he bailed on you for bigger and better things. He loves you, you know?”

“I know. And I should’ve outright asked him to come home, or at least asked him why he didn’t.”

“Why didn’t you?” he asks, curiosity clearly written on his face.

I shrug. “Guess I was scared he’d confirm my biggest fear, that I wasn’t important enough to come home for.”

Jameson leans forward in the booth quickly, staring me intently in the eyes. “Drix, you do know he came home for you, right? He didn’t stay because of me. We weren’t there yet when he decided to stay. It was all for you, buddy.”

I knew that, or I’d tried to tell myself that every day since Jameson and Holds became a couple, but his earnest tone pushes away the last bit of doubt in my mind. Holds did move back home for me—because I was hurt. He left his best friend, who I can see for myself now obviously needed him, and he didn’t do it to pursue a relationship with my partner. He did it because I’m his brother—his twin. “Thanks, man.”

Jameson slumps back into the seat. “Okay, your brother and Gavin are doing a number on us. We’re all emotional and in ourfeelings, lately. We gotta knock this shit off,” he jokes.

Taking the out he’s giving me, I clear the thick wad of emotions out of my throat and retort, “Maybe Holds is turning you into a wuss, but Gavin doesn’t have that kinda control over me.”

Jameson levels me with a get-the-fuck-out-of-here look. “Tell that to someone who doesn’t know you so well.” When I snort, he says, “Last thing about Holds, though. He’s going to want to talk about why you never told him you’re into guys. I know he’s too busy working through how your mom treated him and why right now, but once he does that… You’re in trouble.”

I open my mouth to speak, and he raises his hand to stop me. “Actually, I want to know why you never told me. I actually think I get why you never told Holden, but why wouldn’t you have told me? I didn’t even speak to your brother.”

We pause as Jack drops our food at the table, and Jameson lets me off the hook long enough to wolf down half of my sub. “Gah! I missed eating here.”

“As soon as you come back to work, we can eat here as often as you like.” He glances at my face, searching for… something...

Since I don’t know how to respond to that, I go back to his original question. “About never telling you I’m bisexual.” He lifts an eyebrow and sets the piece of pizza he’d been devouring down, giving me his full attention. “I don’t think I ever intended to act on it. Once Dad told me he thought it would crush my mom to have to worry about both of us, I kinda… shelved it. Obviously I still noticed when I thought a man was attractive or whatever, but there were plenty of women I was interested in, so I… and then they died without Mom and Holden ever clearing the air, so I didn’t want to hurt him, I guess. I didn’t want him to feel betrayed.” I shrug.

“So because you made Holds go through that alone in high school, to spare your mom from further worry and Holds from any more of her wrath, you planned to live your life ignoring a part of who you are?”

When he says it that way, it sounds dumb. “Yes?”

“For a smart guy, that’s a real bonehead thought process, partner.”

“Thanks for the support,” I grumble.

A smile splits his face. “No problem, it’s what I’m here for.” He picks up his pizza and takes a huge bite. “For the record,” he says after he finishes chewing. “I don’t think Holds is mad about that part, anymore. He’s too worried about you and Gavin living together. You experimenting on his best friend won’t go over too well.”

“I would neveruseGavin,” I say between clenched teeth, irritation pumping the blood through my body like the rapids. A vision of Gavin’s smiling face floats before me, as well as how haunted he seems when he doesn’t think I’m paying attention. Like there’s ever a minute of the day lately when I’m not aware of him with every fiber of my being. Hurting him is not an option—not ever.

“Oh, I have no doubts about that.” Then the asshole winks at me. I have no idea what he thinks he knows.

By the time we leave Jack’s, Jack, Sr.’s arrived to greet me and welcome me home. Other patrons who live local have come over to our table to tell me how happy they are to see me, and how glad they are I made it through. One lady going so far as to tell us to let her know when I’m back on patrol so she can make me a pie.

As Jameson pulls up to the curb outside of my house, he asks, “How do you feel now?”

“Ready to get back to work,” I reply honestly.

“There’s the Drix I know,” he says, then he’s out of the car to come open the door for me. I had a suspicion that this was his sneaky way to entice me back to work, and I was scared of disappointing him. Who knew that so many people from our designated area cared about me or felt safer knowing I was patrolling their neighborhood?

“Thanks, partner,” I say as I lift up, resting my hand on my cane next to him.

“That’s what best friends are for.”

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