Page 44 of Digging Deeper

We lie there, kissing for the longest time, our hands gently brushing over our clothes, sometimes sneaking a little skin at the bottom of our shirts, but neither of us pushes for more. My dick might be begging me to push, but I don’t want to. I want to soak up his gentleness, his sweetness, his deliciousness. I never want to stop; I could go on kissing him forever.

But eventually, we’re both so breathless we have to pull apart, if only to breathe for a few minutes. As he lays on his side, his arms are tight around me, seeming unwilling to let me go. I scoot in and rest my head on his shoulder with my face pressed to his chest, panting and… amazed.

Drix kissed me.

Not only kissed, but made out with me for a long time.

Holy shit, Drix freaking devoured my mouth.

Drix’s soft fingers run over my skin, putting me in a daze. I’m not sure how long we lay there against the wall with his fingers skimming my skin, but I sort of never want to move. I feel safe in his arms in a way I haven’t experienced in a long time. But then I hear whining from the top of the steps, and I sigh, pushing up to look at him. “They probably need to go outside.”

Drix grunts noncommittally.

“Do you, um, want to go upstairs? We could watch a movie or something,” I say, unsure of what we’re doing, but desperate to keep this connection with him for as long as possible. When he doesn’t answer, I squint my eyes in his direction and notice that he’s looking everywhere but at me. “Drix?” When he still doesn’t reply, a heavy weight presses on my chest and I whisper, “Drix?”

He finally turns to me, and instead of seeing the kindness and affection I saw while he was kissing me, all I see is regret. “Look, Gavin, that was… maybe we shouldn’t have done that. I think maybe we should—”

“Are you kidding me right now?” I ask in a rush, scrambling out of his arms as I will my tears to stay back.

“Gav? Listen—”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Hendrix.” I rush up the stairs, not even caring that the man I’ve been pining over for months is calling my name and cursing loudly.

As quickly as I can, I let the dogs out while hot tears fall freely down my face, and once they’re back inside, I run into my room and slam the door shut with Nana and Brutus inside with me. I turn the lock for good measure, then climb into my bed, pull the blankets over my head, and sob into my pillow.

The ache in my chest deepens into a throbbing burn. The fragile hold I have on my broken pieces shatters, leaving my heart a pile of ash so frail it might blow away with the breeze.

17

Hendrix

“Gavin, I know you’re home. Your car’s still in the driveway.” I really want to pound on his door since he’s ignoring me, but I continue knocking gently. This is my fault, after all, and I don’t want to upset him anymore than he already is. “Please, come out.” Nana and Brutus whine at me from the other side, but Gav doesn’t even tell me to fuck off. There’s complete and total deafening silence from him.

When he continues to ignore my plea, I shoot Aiden a quick text message. The minute he replies, I yell out to Gav, “Listen, I have Aiden coming to get me. I’ve been up for two hours, and I heard you take the dogs out once while I was waking up, but they’ll need to go out again. I don’t know if you ate breakfast…” Shoving my hands through my hair in frustration, I say, “So I’ll piss off for the day, okay? You can have the house to yourself. I don’t want you to starve to death or anything. Just… just please don’t move out or anything, okay? I know I made a mistake last night—”

I cut off when I hear him gasp. “No, no, no, no. That’s not what I mean. Not that kissing you was a mistake, well, I mean. Please—”

“Go away, Hendrix. I seriously don’t want to talk to you right now,” he says. His voice is barely loud enough for me to hear through the door, but there’s no mistaking that it’s thick with tears and void of warmth.Shit!

“Okay, I… I’m leaving. But, please don’t do anything rash like moving out while I’m gone or something. Please…” I trail off softly.

The dogs’ continued whining follows me down the hall, but Gavin doesn’t say another word. Grabbing a hoodie, I hobble outside, all the way to the curb to stand and wait for Aiden.

As soon as he pulls up, I dive into the front seat. “Hey, Drix. What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, can you...”—I clear my throat—“can you just drive? Please,” I add on. I don’t need another one of my friends pissed at me for bad behavior.

“Sure.” He puts the car in gear without another word and drives away.

I stare back at the front of my house longingly. What I wouldn’t give to have never touched Gavin, then we’d be doing our normal Sunday routine right now instead of him holed up in his room hiding from me while I leave my own house. Biting back a groan, I shut my eyes and lean all the way back into the seat. If I’m not going to be honest with Gavin, I have to at least be truthful with myself. If Gavin wasn’t Holds’s best friend, there isn’t one thing about what happened last night that I’d regret. He felt as wonderful in my arms as I knew he would. His taste was even more intoxicating than the fresh smell of oranges and strawberries that usually accompanies him. Ugh. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

I open my eyes and look out the window when Aiden pulls to a stop and turns off his car. “What are we doing here?” I ask. We’re in front of Holds and Jameson’s house.Great.

“I was on my way to get you when Holds called and asked if I’d talked to you. When I told him I was on my way to pick you up, he suggested we come here for brunch. I’m not turning down a free home cooked meal.” He laughs as he steps out of the car, unaware of my distress.

Aiden waits halfway up the walkway for me, but when Jameson opens the front door and steps out with a half-annoyed, half-amused smirk on his face, I wave Aiden on. He fist bumps Jameson as he passes him, and then it’s just me and my best friend. I open my mouth, but he shuts me down with a shake of his head and ushers me inside like he’s a damn game show host. How trite. The minute I enter the door, I’m face to face with my twin.

Holds’s smile is so phony I flinch when his steely gaze lands on me. “Foxy, why don’t you and Aiden go on into the kitchen and finish getting the food together?”

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