Page 20 of Going Down Smooth: Part Two

After hours of spilling my guts to the poor woman, I understand that what happened to me and my reactions after it doesn’t constitute weakness. Everyone handles trauma differently. I know I have a lot of work to do, but I want my life to return to normal. Well, as normal as it can be considering my growing media presence. Poor Freeya has been handling it on her own. I feel happier than I’ve felt in a long time. Now, let me go find Trey, maybe a little music therapy will do me some good.

December 8th(Excerpt)

Lox put his foot down and forced me to leave the house today. With my continued therapy, it was less disastrous than the last time. #winning. I didn’t know I needed it as much as I did. God, I miss the freeing feeling of just being out in the world. I returned to Smooth Bourbon for the first time since the fire, and although I felt the rise of panic creep in, I overcame it.

I. Am. Not. Broken.

I was able to walk through the site with Lox, Knight, and Trey by my side, and I felt like me for the first time in a long time.

The reconstruction of the Distillery is going well, and Nate, well, let’s just say I didn’t know hardhats were my kink until I saw him in his true element. My vagina yawned and stretched and then said hello. I don’t know what I would have done without him and Freeya working tirelessly to keep everything moving while I found my way through the rubble of my own life.

Closing my journal, I slide it into my bookshelf, satisfied with my entry for today. I smile because I am writing in it less and less. I’m sleeping better as well. I still have the occasional bad dream but with the help I’ve been getting, I am coping with them better. I guess the only thing left to do is keep my promise and heal my bonds. My men have done nothing but support me and nurse me back to health, giving me their love and devotion even when I pushed them away. Again. I love them. I love them more now than I ever did before and I want to show them just how much.

THIRTEEN

NATE

“Idon’t see the point in this,” Lox groans for the fifth time. I swear he is this close to getting a snowball to the face. The thought fills me with sweet satisfaction, but his retaliation for hitting him sobers the urge.

“We all agreed to this, Lox. It’s for Mercy. You should be happy to hike through the snow in search of a Christmas tree,” Knight replies as he leads us further into the woods around our property with an axe over his shoulder, looking like a proper lumberjack, sans beard.

“I want to see the smile on my songbird’s face. She’s been coming back to us day by day. Getting into the Christmas spirit will be good for her. She finally agreed to play with me for Pack Night at the bar. I would climb a mountain if I knew it would bring her happiness and dig the tree up with my bare hands. Quit your bitching, Lox,” Trey says, followed by a grunt as Lox punches him in the arm.

“Yeah, like you would really risk frostbite on those delicate hands of yours.” Lox chuckles as he dances out of the way of Trey’s fist. They both wrestle playfully behind us and the sound of their laughter eases more of the tension I’ve been carrying around with me for weeks.

“I can’t believe it’s been two months. I’ve been so busy with the construction of the new distillery; time has passed in a blur. Mercy needs this, we need this. Decorating the house will bring us together. We need a pack activity,” I say enthusiastically.

We all woke this morning to a world bathed in white. I think that’s why we picked this spot to build our house. The picturesque scenery didn’t disappoint in winter. Mercy immediately went to her reading nook downstairs, and instead of her journal she picked up her e-reader as she gazed at the snow-covered meadow outside the window. The small change in her behavior has motivated me further. Christmas is days away, and with the Gala and pack night performance coming up, we need to spend time with each other. We need her and she needs us.

“I agree. Mercy barely registered Halloween, and we all know it’s her favorite holiday, Christmas being the second. Thanksgiving, well, that was a bust. She refused to leave the house and didn’t want to see her parents. With Faith still missing and Grace due any day now, she won’t want to bother. She will throw herself into Gala planning,” Knight replies, nodding his head as he speaks.

“Well, I know what pack activities I’m up for and it involves my very blue balls,” Lox grumbles and we all sigh in unison. It’s been a long two months, but with Mercy recovering and her pushing us out of the main pack bedroom, well, my hand is a poor substitute for the real thing.

I turn and roll my eyes. “It’s not like you were fucking everything that moved before Mercy came back to us, Lox. Heath only gave her the okay for normal activities two weeks ago. We need to let her come to us.”

“Nate, shut up.” I turn opening my mouth to reply and get a mouth full of snow. I wipe my face with a growl and take off after him. I laugh carelessly, bounding after Lox as he disappears behind trees, avoiding everything I throw at him.

“I understand she is recovering, asshole!” Lox shouts dodging another snowball. “I’m just saying I miss my mouse and would rather have her pussy hug my knot than freeze my precious balls off in cold weather in order to hang Christmas lights.” He dances between the trees taunting me, only to be ambushed by Trey and Knight who both pummel him with snowball after snowball.

“You bastards!” he shouts, holding up his hands in surrender as we all double over laughing.

“It’s Loxy the Snowman,” Trey says breathlessly while reaching in his pocket to grab his phone and captures a picture of Lox covered in snow. Our phone chimes seconds later and a picture of Lox covered in snow appears in our group chat.

Our laughter dies as we all wait in anticipation for our girl to reply. It doesn’t take her long; the sound of her pinging back brings a smile to my face.

Mercy: Loxy the Snowman is hot! What are you guys up to?

Lox: Mouse.

Knight: It’s a surprise. We’ll be back soon. Make sure you’re dressed warm, baby girl.

Mercy: What’s my surprise? Lox with icy balls? LOL!

Lox: Are you offering to warm them up for me, mouse?

All of our eyes are locked to our phones as the dots appear on the screen. The anticipation of her answer, the thrill of the playfulness through our bond, it has my dick standing at attention. This is not what I had planned, but fuck, I miss her, all of her.

Mercy: If you’re a good boy, maybe.

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