Page 12 of Paladin's Hell

“What’s wrong with Colorado?” I butt in, thinking it must be something significant. A warning? Something I need to know before I decide?

“What’s wrong with it,” my sister answers, folding her arms and staring into the eyes of her husband, “is that the age of consent in that state is seventeen.”

Again, my jaw drops. Various thoughts whirl around my head. Only a few more months and if I move states, Paladin and I could be together. But it’s too soon. I’m not ready. I thought I’d have far longer. What if Paladin wants to bring the agenda forward? I thought I had time before I needed to open that box.

Slick stands up and pulls Ella with him. “Why don’t you sleep on it, Jayden? Give it some thought. There are pros and cons. As El said, we could all make a fresh start somewhere different. Timing could be better, but hey, we can make it work. Talk to Paladin if you want.”

“He knows?” Of course he does. One thing about bikers, they know how to keep their mouths closed. I don’t have to see Slick’s nod.

The door shuts behind them, and I’m left stunned. A lot’s been laid on me tonight. I’ve gone from being a tantrum-throwing teenager to a woman who’s been given the choice, an opportunity to be with her man. My head’s reeling at all the possibilities. What would the Colorado club be like? Would I like it there? Would Paladin and I live together? And if so, how could he wait? How could I explain my nervousness to him? Everyone seems to expect we’ll, he’ll take advantage.

Going into my bathroom, I go through the normal motions of preparing for bed. Exiting, I leave the light on as I always do, unable to sleep in the dark. Tonight there’s even more reason. I’m scared of just closing my eyes, worried the conversation I’ve just taken part in will result in a nightmare.

Instead of sleeping, I do some soul searching. Had I set my sights on Paladin simply because I decided he was what I wanted when I was fourteen? When I’d just come around from experiencing the worst that can happen to a young girl, had I focused on him because he was handsome and kind? How do I know that it’s him who gets my blood rushing, in the way the women do in Ella’s novels I sneak from time to time? I’ve never been allowed to get close to him. We haven’t touched or kissed. Tonight’s experience at the restaurant showed how overprotective not just Ella and Slick were, but all the brothers here. If it had been just for my safety, men could have been there but stayed discreet.

Paladin’s been a good friend, but how can I, with what I lived through, allow that friendship to develop into anything further? With him, or with any man?

I need to know where his head’s at. Find out his expectations. Talk to Paladin tomorrow I resolve.

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