Chapter 18
Jayden
A tearful goodbye shared with Ella, while the prospect and Slick waited impatiently. I wasn’t even going to the airport to see them off. Instead I was staying home with Moira, a woman I haven’t got the measure of yet.
I can’t wait to see Paladin. We’ve never been apart so long before. I’d see him everyday in the clubhouse. I can’t remember a time we’ve gone twenty-four hours without seeing each other. He’s bound to be missing me too, I’m certain. Perhaps he’ll take me to explore this new place on the back of his bike. I’ve never ridden with him before, Slick and Ella wouldn’t allow me. I wasn’t stupid, I knew a woman riding up behind a man meant something in the biker world, but if I was going to end up with Paladin, what was there to stop me now?
I’m sad to see my sister leave, but there’s also a kernel of excitement bubbling inside, vying to push my sorrow away. I’ve got so much freedom now. There’s nobody coming after me, no threat of kidnap around every corner. For the first time in three years I feel safe, ready to take the next step into my life.
I lost my innocence a long time ago. I grew to be a woman much too early. Ella had done everything she could to give me my childhood back, and although I was grateful, I had felt restricted by the rules that had been imposed. Now Pal and I have the freedom to really explore what we mean to each other. I can’t wait to see him.
So I watch the car leave wiping tears from my eyes, but looking forward to exerting my new independence. As the taillights fade into the distance, my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Pal: Got shit to do. Will try and see you later.
What? How dare he? He promised he wouldn’t leave me alone. I’m in a strange town, in a strange house with strangers. And he’s blowing me off? My first instinct is to run after Ella and Slick, try to stop them, make them take me home. My second, once I realise that’s futile, is to be so annoyed I could throw my phone. I don’t, messaging him back simply,
Jay: Fine
“You okay?” Moira’s looking at me cautiously, and I realise she’s reading every nuance of the expressions crossing my face. Sadness, pleasure, annoyance. I wonder how much I’m inadvertently giving away.
My impulse is to stamp my foot and scream. But I’m more mature than that. While she’s a stranger to me, I’m no more than that to her. She’s been kind enough to give me a place to stay, I ought to at least not be difficult.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” She cocks her head and gives a half-smile, managing to convey she doesn’t believe it. So I give her more. “I thought Pal was coming over, but he’s got things to do.”
“Your young man.” Her lips purse slightly. “I expect Hell’s keeping him busy. He transferred as a member of the club.”
Letting out a deep sigh, I reluctantly agree, “You’re probably right. It’s just that, in Tucson, he was my shadow. There wasn’t a day I didn’t see him. Even before we had to move back to the compound, we went there every day. I’d look after the children, and he’d always be around. I miss him, you know?”
“Coffee?”
What?It takes a second to process her question, then I nod, and follow her into the kitchen. I take the stool she indicates while she busies herself making us drinks.
As she does, she says conversationally over her shoulder. “Might do you good to have some time apart.”
She doesn’t understand our relationship. “We came here to be together,” I tell her. “Pal’s been my friend since…” My voice trails off. I’ve talked about it with my therapist, but still don’t like other people knowing what happened to me.
Moira’s quiet for a moment, and then a cup of coffee appears before me, and she sits on the opposite side of the counter. “You’re living in my house now, Jayden, and I hope we’re going to be friends. I know some of what happened to you, not everything, but enough. I know you’re going to miss your sister, but please understand that you can talk to me. Confide in me.”
As an opening gambit, it pulls me up. I’m immediately concerned she knows any of the details about my past, then realise, Ella would have had to have explained something about why the Herreras were a threat to me.
My silence encourages her to continue. “I got married when I wasn’t much older than you.” She blows on her drink to cool it. “I was only seventeen. We’ve been married thirty-six years now.”
Is she telling me a relationship can work even if you step into it early? My brow creases. If Moira is someone I can talk to about how I’m feeling, it could be useful to have a woman I could bounce my thoughts off. I couldn’t, with Ella. Any reference to that time and what happened a taboo topic between us. All Ella wanted to know was that I was moving past it. I hadn’t wanted to trouble her with how much it still preyed on my mind.
Moira seems to be waiting for me to continue the conversation. “So you were little more than my age when you married Hellfire?” I sip my own coffee even though it’s too hot.
“Yes.” She throws me a quick grin as she confirms it.
“That’s a long time to be with one man.”
“That’s what you do when you make a commitment. We’re married, but I’m first and foremost his old lady. You know what that means to a biker?”
“Commitment to him, and the club.” I’ve seen that with Ella and Slick.
“Yes. To the club. Club’s part of the man, can’t take that away from him.”
“Why are you telling me this, Moira?” I narrow my eyes. I might only be sixteen, but often I feel so much older than that.