Page 52 of Paladin's Hell

Moira’s head dips up and down slowly. “I won’t say I made a mistake marrying Hellfire, but if I had my time again, would do some things differently. I certainly wouldn’t have married so young. That’s my concern about you and Paladin. You’re only sixteen. From what you’re saying, you’ve been pushed together for years. Being a biker’s old lady isn’t for everyone. Seems you should use this opportunity to take a step back, consider if he’s really what you want.”

“He is,” I tell her sharply, not admitting I’ve been having doubts along the same lines. A knee-jerk reaction to her suggestion.

“Is he?” She drains her coffee and puts the empty cup down. “From what you’ve been saying, he’s always been your shadow. I doubt you’ve dated anyone else. Not had a chance to consider what you really want.”

I’m about to contradict her, to say there couldn’t be anyone that I’d like more. But something stops me. A notion she might be right. I don’t bother to tell her I’ve never dated Paladin either. That terrible night at the Wheel Inn doesn’t count.

“And Paladin? What’s his view?” Moira continues, but doesn’t give me time to answer, just carries on. “Hellfire told me he committed to a fourteen-year-old girl. Might not know you, Jayden, but I’m certain you’ve changed over time. Developed in both your body and mind. The girl he said he’d wait for, is she still the same? You, as you are now, are you what he expects and what he wants?”

I have changed, I know that. Grown boobs for a start, such as they are. I’ve become a woman, rather than a young girl. Have I emerged as the type of woman who’d attract Pal?

“The club girls. They’re going to be all over a new member…”

I look at her horrified. Paladin had showed no interest in the whores in Tucson. “Pal stays faithful to me…”

“Is that what he says, or the truth? He’s a man, Jayden. Face it.”

Whether he’s said so or not, and while sometimes I have doubts, mostly I believe it. But even if he was faithful in Tucson, maybe there’s a chance he wouldn’t be here, where I’m being kept off the compound, and have no way of knowing what he gets up to, and no Slick to watch out for me. I doubt whether any of his new brothers would let me know. The thought of him being unfaithful upsets me.

Having dropped that bombshell, Moira stands, collects both empty cups and rinses them. “I wouldn’t want you to rush into anything you weren’t ready for,” she says, staring out of the window. “I never expected to get married at seventeen. While I don’t regret the time I’ve had with Hellfire, I wouldn’t have married him so fast if I hadn’t had to.”

“You were pregnant?” I leap to the obvious conclusion.

“Yeah, Demon’s thirty-five.”

“And your other children?”

“Kennedy’s just thirty, and Samuel came along as a surprise. He’s twenty-two.”

The discussion of her children sounds a safer subject to keep to. “Only Demon went into the club?”

Her back is still turned toward me, but it doesn’t stop me seeing her nod. “It was in his blood.”

In her other son’s as well, surely?But I don’t say the obvious. Maybe she’s glad Samuel didn’t also follow his father.

Moira busies herself wiping down the already clean-looking surfaces. I sit biting my nails. In Tucson I’d be helping out with all the children, here it’s totally different. I’m not in the clubhouse, but in someone else’s home. Until I start school next semester, I don’t have anything I’m supposed to be doing. It’s a strange feeling. I’ve never felt useless. I miss Ella so badly.

As tears start to prick in my eyes, I try to get my thoughts away from everything I left behind. “Tell me about the club.”

“Hmm.” Moira pauses. “Much like Tucson I presume. There’s the members, prospects, club girls, hangarounds, of course, who come to the parties.”

“What about old ladies?”

“Well there’s me. Jeannie, she’s my age, was my best friend back in the day. She’s around the club a lot, keeps the girls in line. And then there’s Sindy, she’s married to Buzzard.”

“Any kids?”

“Nah. Single men for the most part.”

My lips press together. Doesn’t sound like the family club I got used to back in Tucson. I’d been expecting something similar, had been looking forward to getting to know the women and helping out with babysitting. I hadn’t realised just how different this was going to be.

“Do you go to the compound much?”

“Not as much as I used to. If I want to watch porn or fights, I’ve got the TV for that.” She’s certainly not making it sound attractive.

At last Moira puts the cleaning stuff away. “You want to go into Pueblo? We could go to a mall. Have lunch out?”

Paladin’s blown me off. So what else am I going to do? I agree.

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