Page 64 of Paladin's Hell

Chapter 22

Moira

Switching on the small hand-held fan, I direct the air toward my burning face. Sometimes it seems this will never stop, that I’ll be going hot then cold for the rest of my life. I know it does end, eventually. But from what I’ve read, I’ve years still to go through.

I get so irritable. It seems as my internal temperature rises, so does the ability for things to get on my nerves. I’m constantly getting angry or overreacting. Right now, I’m getting wound up replaying in my head the conversation I’d had with Jayden at the mall. She seems like a good kid, perhaps a little mixed up about that boy who came with her. While I’d been speaking with her, I’d become sympathetic that she’s not had a chance to be a teenager before. From what I can make out, she’s spent all her time helping with the babies and young children, unable to enjoy the freedom of other girls her age. A situation that pushed her into the sights of the man closest to her age on the compound.

Well, we’ll see about that. I huff as I wipe sweat from my brow. While she’s living under my roof, I’d like to show her she’s got her whole life spread out in front of her. She should be allowed to follow her own dreams, not be trapped in those of someone else.

I’m biased, perhaps. I’d had my goals stolen, saw them disappear in a blink of an eye. Rather than travelling, seeing the world, I’d become pregnant and trapped. I wouldn’t want that for anyone. Not that I’d wish away Demon, just wished he’d come along in my time, and been the son of the man I loved, and not the one I hated.

Jayden’s young, she’s got choices. I want to help her see that. From what she’s told me, she believes she’s tied to a man who doesn’t even attract her.

I pour my undrunk coffee away. A hot drink now is not what I need. Instead I pour a glass of cold water. That lad, Paladin, seems to have been Jayden’s shadow, taking her and collecting her from school, and being her only male friend. She seems to have been brainwashed, or has brainwashed herself into thinking she’s his, set up to be his old lady. I haven’t had a chance to speak to the young man, but I already dislike him. Oh, he said the right things when he’d been here the other night and I’d been shamelessly eavesdropping, but saying the words and what he really means by them are two different things. As for her sister and old man? What were they thinking? Fine, they had to keep her safe, but holding her to the decision she made at the worst time of her life? What fourteen-year-old sets her sights on a man she wants to be tied to forever?

She might be waiting for him. But I know men, and what they get up to. I have strong suspicions he’s not waited for her. He was nineteen when he promised he would, an age when testosterone would have been raging. In a clubhouse full of whores, what young man would have been able to hold back? Nah, her expectations of him are too high, and if I’m right, when she finds out the truth she’ll be devastated. If I do nothing else for her, I’ll make her see her expectations of him are unrealistic.

Hmm. Jayden will be starting school next semester. Plenty of boys there her own age. Hopefully one might catch her eye. She doesn’t want to do what I did, jump into a relationship far too early.

I’ll remind Demon about getting her a car. Girl deserves some independence and some fun in her life. Maybe she’ll meet someone who’ll treat her as she deserves. She’s a pretty kid, won’t take long for the boys to notice her. Yeah, someone else would be better. Someone not connected to a motorcycle club.

Emptying my glass, I rinse it. I’d made certain to get a good look at Paladin when he’d visited, quickly noticing, before me was standing a boy who appeared he’s only just grown into a man, not yet battle-scarred or war-weary. He was quite fair, his hair short, scruff around his chin looked like he was trying to grow a beard but not quite succeeding. His arms resembled sticks, no muscles at all. In all, a breath of wind would likely blow him away. When I’d heard Jayden’s fella was five years her senior, I thought at her age the age difference was too much. But seeing him, they wouldn’t look such an odd pairing.

Even so, he’s going to have to do something to impress me before I think he’s right for her. I remember what I’d thought when I saw him and my lips press together. I saw someone who, though he hasn’t taken advantage of a young girl yet, definitely wants to. I’ve more than enough reason to hate a man who thinks they’re entitled to something they shouldn’t have. Nah. I’m not going to help push them together. I won’t make it easy for them.

Was her sister out of her mind? Letting them both come here together as though him taking advantage of her was a foregone conclusion.

I straighten the cushions in the already tidy lounge. After the club girls had had a good clean and tidy up, there wasn’t much for me to do. Ah, Jay’s left her cup on the side. I’ll wash that. Damn, I’m burning up again… throw open the window, splash cold water on my face. Take off my cardigan. I’ve got used to wearing layers of clothes. Damn the menopause. No, fuck it!

I stand in the cool breeze that’s blowing in. Hellfire hadn’t come home again last night. He’d called, let me know shit had gone down, but after our heart-to-heart I’d expected things would get better. Looks like I’m going to have to stay used to sleeping alone. Now Hell’s eased my mind on the reason he’s been distant, I’m starting to worry about him. He’s been the prez for twenty years now. It’s a stressful job, and one which is taking its toll. Trouble is, if he steps down, our son is the most likely to step up in his place. Would I wish the same fate on him? Saving the father might ruin his son.

As if I’ve conjured him up, the sound of a bike arriving reaches me with the distinctive sound I’d know anywhere. It’s Demon.

I’m putting on the kettle and checking what food I’ve got in the fridge as the door opens.

“Mom.” Demon walks in, his arms surrounding me in a tight hug. It’s not the first time I’ve seen him since he discovered the revelations, but the first that I’ve had him all to myself. As I stand back, holding him at arm’s length, he starts to fidget. “I got something on my face?”

“Just checking you’re okay.”

He doesn’t pretend not to know what I’m asking. “Truth? Still trying to get my head around everything. But Hell and I are fine, okay?” His eyes soften. “I’m more grateful than angry, Mom. What you both went through? Never had a fuckin’ clue.”

“Do you think it’s possible we can move on? Put it behind us?”

Looking thoughtful, he shrugs. “I’m glad I know. Would rather it hadn’t happened. But it did. Just got to deal with it. Anyway, how’s Pal’s girl?”

“She’s not his girl.” I snarl.

His brow furrows. “What the fuck? That’s not how he tells it. She said anything?”

I shake my head. “Jayden’s only sixteen,” I hiss. “Far too young to be claimed.”

A shrug from my son. “She’s seventeen in a couple of months as I understand it.”

“Still not old enough for the likes of him.”

Demon looks surprised. “That’s her business, surely?”

Placing my hands on my hips, my words come out before I can filter them. “If I hadn’t had had a biker interested in me at that age perhaps I wouldn’t…” My voice trails off.

---