Page 98 of Paladin's Hell

“I’ll work on it, Mom.”

“In wedlock, not out.” I pretend to slap him around the head, he pouts. “Anyway, I don’t know. It’s got my brain all screwed up. My body’s telling me I’ve left it too late. I’ll never follow my dreams. Sometimes all I can think about are lost chances, everything I’d missed out on. I just wanted to stop Jayden from making the same mistakes.”

“Did you have counselling, Mom?”

“What are you thinking Demon?”

“PTSD,” he replies to Hell.

What?“I’m fine. I haven’t got PTSD.”

“You might have,” Hell contradicts. “It doesn’t have to manifest itself immediately. You had a kid, me, the club. Now, and it’s down to me, I know, you’ve got too much time on your hands. Fuck, I don’t know what a woman goes through. All I can say, getting old is having a toll on me too.”

Demon rests his elbows on the desk, lays his head down between them, then looks up. “It’s fine knowing getting to the root of what’s wrong. But how are we going to move forward? We’ve a club full of brothers who all heard Mom.”

“She apologises to Paladin,” Hell says.

I glare. Like fuck I will.

“Paladin’s not Blackie. Fuck, Mo, he’s more like me. He’s loved that girl forever. Anyone can see that. Just like I fell in love with you. And Jayden’s not you. Any dreams she’s got are hers, and not yours. She didn’t have your shitty family. She’s got people who care for her.”

“They’re not here.”

“Still not up to you to look out for her. We weren’t told to keep them apart.”

“I don’t like being here, Hell. I want to be in my own home. I only came to the barbeque because you wanted me here, now I’m stuck. I’m playing the part of the prez’s old lady, and that’s not me. Not anymore. I’m not that person.”

Hell draws his hand down over his beard, more white than grey now. His blue eyes, so similar to Demon’s, stare at the man he’s proud to call his son. “One solution,” his focus is back on me. “That you’re not the prez’s old lady anymore.”

Demon breathes in sharply, looks up at the ceiling, then back down. He seems to have cottoned on faster than me.

It takes me a moment to wonder how what Hell’s suggested could come about. Then it hits me. “You want a divorce?” Had I fucked up that badly?

Hell gets up, walks around the desk, and comes to crouch in front of me, his knees cracking as he does so. “Nah, Mo. Never, ever that. You and me babe? We’re for fuckin’ keeps.” As I tilt my head to one side, he continues. “The club? I’ve given thirty-seven years of my life to the men I call brothers, and I can’t change that either. I’ll be a Satan’s Devil until I can’t ride anymore. But, they’ve also had some of the best years, the last twenty, of me leading them. I’m tired, Mo. It’s not just you getting older, it’s me too. I think we both deserve to follow our dreams for a while.”

“Dad?”

Hell swings around so he’s facing our son. “I’ll stay in the chair until we’ve got this situation sorted, but after that, you can step up.”

“Hell, you can’t. Not for me…”

“Not for you, Mo, for us. You’re right. When have we had time just to be with each other? Christ, for the first few years, after Demon was born, it was a struggle just to stay alive. I’m lucky to be here, so many brothers aren’t. You had to live with that, not knowing whether your old man was going to come home.” He’s right. I had. “We deserve some time off. When did we last have a vacation?”

Er. Never?

“Let’s take some time for ourselves. Go to places you dreamed of. Just you and me. What do you say, Mo?”

“You mean it?” My heart skips a beat as excitement bubbles through. He’s talking about a different type of future than I’d been expecting. Maybe it wasn’t too late for us after all. Perhaps our time together is only just beginning, not ending.

Hell leans forward, speaks under his breath directly into my ear. “Without all this stress, might get my cock working again.”

While he’s been speaking, my eyes have been watching Demon. There’s worry there, concern he might not match up to his father, but also a hunger. “You alright with this, Demon?”

I watch as he pinches the bridge of his nose, then looks up and nods. “Not what I would have wanted nor expected. Dad offered when I found out he wasn’t my father, but I’d turned it down. Thought that was the end of it. Blindsided me if I’m honest. But after you’ve done your Grand Tour or whatever, you’ll be back, won’t you? Back at the club and by my side.”

“Your club,” Hell emphasises. “Not mine when I step down. I’ll be a member. Always have your back, as my son, brother, and my prez.”

“Christ.” Demon shakes his head. “Don’t start yet, Dad. You’re still wearing the prez’s hat for now.”