Page 85 of Devil's Due

“No, listen Beef. My blindness is hereditary. There’s a fifty percent chance of passing it on. And any child who inherited it could go deaf as well.”

I can’t argue with that, can’t offer platitudes. Can’t say it’s a risk worth taking. She’s clearly thought a lot about this, and the one who’s lived losing her sight. I don’t know how I’d feel about bringing a child into the world knowing there was a good chance they’d go blind and could lose their hearing too. Any life, as Stevie herself proves, is worth living. But she knows how hard it is, I don’t.

“Stevie, babe, I want you. I want what we could have together. If there are some things we can’t have, we’ll deal.” At that moment there’s a timely thump thump on the floor as Max wags his tail. It makes me grin. “We’ve already got someone to care for, Max.”

She chuckles as I meant her to.

“He needs to go outside.”

“I’ll take him.”

“Beef, I don’t need you…”

“I know you don’t need me to do shit for you. But you haven’t learned this place yet, you don’t have a stick, and Max can’t be in a harness right now. It’s easier for me to do it.”

“Easier, yes. But I don’t want to have to lean on you, Beef.”

I lean in, my words vibrating against her ear. “I know you don’t. But if we’re going to be together, we’ll be a partnership, babe. You don’t have to do everything yourself, and not doing it, doesn’t mean you’re not capable.”

There’s a small whine about my knee level. “Come on, Max. Let’s go get your business done.”

“I can’t give you an answer, Beef. I don’t know what the best thing to do is. I need to know it’s right, for me and for you. If I take you away from everything you love, you could come to hate me one day.”

I pause at the door and straighten. “Can’t see that happening, and if it did? Nothing to stop me coming back. You’re not trapping me babe. Think about it, okay?”

At her ‘yes’, I open the door, then close it. Max tugs at his leash, but I stand still for a moment. What else can I say to persuade her I’m sincere? It hadn’t helped she’d seen the way I treated Sally, but the two women are poles apart. I tried, but I never had one tenth of the emotion for the other woman that I already feel for Stevie, and I’m convinced it will only keep growing.

Another tug from the leash.Yeah, Max, I’m coming.

Each day that damn dog seems to move easier. Wish humans healed as fast as animals seem to. Mind you, when we’re told to take it easy, we’re frightened to push ourselves. A dog just does what it can and doesn’t hold back even if its human owners think it’s too much. He’s steady going down the stairs though I watch him like a hawk.

It’s not the first time I’ve had to clean up dog poo, so I’ve already got used to carrying a spare bag in my cut. Lizard though barks with laughter. He’s sitting outside having a smoke when I bend down, scooping up the mess and tying the bag.

“Least Bitch buries her shit,” he calls out.

I walk to the trash can and place the bag inside. Max, knowing he’s off duty for now, seems interested in the new smells around him. While he sniffs around, I wander over to Lizard.

“You seem in deep with the woman.”

I look at him sharply, seems he sees more than others do. I could tell him he’s wrong, but how can I when he’s so right. Deciding to be honest, I tell him, “She’s one hell of a woman, Liz. She gets me in here,” I thump my fist over my heart, “man. The thought of losing her now I’ve found her? Can’t bear to fuckin’ think of that.”

“Would you leave with her?”

Might as well start laying some ground work. “I might.”

He shakes his head. “Most won’t understand. But sometimes… I get it, you know? We’ve got the whores here of course, but the thought of having that one woman...” Breaking off, he huffs a laugh. “Then I ‘spect I’d get bored pretty fast. Need some variety.”

I’d been faithful to Sally even when she wasn’t giving me what I wanted. But Stevie? Might only have had her once, already know she will be all I need to keep me satisfied for the rest of my life.

Max, either growing bored or anxious to be back with his mistress, comes over and sits by my feet. His tongue lolls out of the side of his mouth. Standing, I slap Liz on the back. “There’ll be a woman for you, one day. She’ll come along when you least expect it.”

Chapter Thirty

On my way back through the clubhouse I see Skull with his arm around Melissa. He’s tall and skinny, which gave rise to his handle of Runt which had been changed when he patched in. Her head reaches just to his shoulder. He’s got both arms around her and is resting his chin on the top of her head. Sparing a thought for another pair at the start of their relationship, I hope it works out. They look like a couple made for each other, the affection is shining out from them both. As long as Melissa can handle the life of an old lady in the MC, I reckon they’re a pair with a good chance of success.

Me with Stevie? It’s not my life I’m asking her to accept, though I wish that it were. It’s me considering being the one making the changes.

“Beef? Got a moment?”

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