Page 92 of Devil's Due

Knowing he’s right to be cautious, I don’t object as he leaves then returns minus the tag.

“Fuckin’ dog a member now, Prez?” Ink grins.

Mace reaches for a cigarette. “Nah, he can’t ride a bike.”

“Beef could get him a side car.”

I don’t bother pointing out there’s no way in hell I’ll be attaching a hack to my bike.

“Honorary member?” suggests Rusty.

“Whatever,” Demon remarks with a sigh. “Can we now get down to Beef’s problem?”

“Ain’t got a problem, Prez.” In some ways Max’s appearance has consolidated the thoughts I’d had between finding Stevie was missing and the members having gathered for church. At the quizzical looks sent in my direction, I carry on, meeting their faces one by one. “I’m gutted she’s gone. Wasn’t what I wanted at all, but in the end, maybe this has worked out for the best.” She wouldn’t have wanted me to claim her. If she had, she wouldn’t have left.Think of the club. The brothers I’ve ridden beside for so many years.“Stevie’s done nothing but cause us trouble.” I absorb the gasps from around me, but don’t let them faze me. I’ve still got the floor, I use it. “She’s brought us into the sights of the Wretched Soulz. My solution had been to turn in my patch and take her away, but she’s saved me from making probably the worst mistake of my life. It’s best, this way, for the club. She’s gone, no one knows where and if the marshals do their job, no one will ever be able to find her.”

“Jesus, Beef. It was all I could do to hold you down…”

“Prez, yeah. My first impulse was to go out searching for her. I admit it, I wanted to claim her. But this has opened my eyes, shown me I was going about it the wrong way. That note she left? She doesn’t trust us to keep her safe. Don’t blame the girl at all, blind like that, can’t do much for herself. She’s put her faith in the marshals—”

“She fuckin’ trusts you, Beef,” a deep voice snarls by my side. Turning quickly, I’m faced with a death stare from Hell not too dissimilar from Drummer’s. Seems the prez glare doesn’t fade once you step down from the job.

My temper flares. “Does she? Walked away without a backward glance.” My voice rises in volume.

“Did she?” Thunder’s question is asked in a similar tone. “Or was she fuckin’ coerced?”

My fear, which I’m trying to tamp down.

“She might have thought she was keepingyousafe. Thought her being here was placing the club in a difficult fuckin’ position.” Demon’s snarl is much like his father’s. He lets his words sink in, before adding, “You hadn’t had a chance to tell her what you were planning, to go into the details of how you were going to take her away. What would you have done, Beef, if the tables were turned and you thought she was in danger? If you feel for her as much as you say you do, I think you’d have done the same thing if you were persuaded her life was in danger if you stayed.”

I don’t reply. I go to say I’d have found a way to keep us together, but would I? Would I really? Or would I have sacrificed my own happiness to keep her alive? Only one answer to that question.

Prez hasn’t finished. “I don’t like the way she left like a thief in the night. My gut feel is that Lennox didn’t give her much choice.”

“Could have taken her at gunpoint. Threatened you? Threatened the club? Could have played on the fact that we’re an MC same as the Warped Jokers.”

“Ain’t nothing like them,” Buzzard objects.

Mace waves his hand in dismissal. “She’s a citizen. A few well-placed words about taking us down using the law could have got her on his side.”

Max takes the opportunity to nudge my knee with his nose. When my hand automatically reaches down, he licks it.What’s he trying to say?

I had a good woman once, no, I didn’t, but there was one I wanted. Only she had eyes for somebody else. Am I fated never to find anyone like Rock found Becca? Have to return to Tucson and live vicariously through the lives of my married brothers? I rub my chin absentmindedly. I don’t know what to think. One minute I want to race around like a headless chicken doing all I can to find her. The next, I want to forget she ever existed. Chances are, whatever I do I won’t be able to find her. That’s if she even wanted me to.

The table has gone silent, looking to me for direction. My gaze starts at the top, looking from Demon to Mace, then Thunder and Buzzard. Sparky has his head tilted to one side, Ink’s eyes are focused on a spot on the table in front of him. Rusty looks confused, Lizard and Cad just seem waiting on me to put forward my suggestions. Skull’s intrigued, and Hell just downright annoyed. Pyro and Bomber just seem poised to act on whatever decision I make. Pal, well he knows me better than anyone, his expression is sympathetic, as if he knows the turmoil in my head. Dan and Wills are keeping silent, too new to the table to challenge me.

What do I do?I’ve a club full of brothers who’d support any action I deem worth taking. If I say leave it, they will. I might not have my true brothers around me, but I know everyone here would have my back just the same.

“Beef?” It’s Pal who gets my attention. “She it for you?”

Giving a deep sigh, I reply, “I thought so.”

Paladin chuckles. “You know what the women are like, Beef. Seen enough of it in Tucson. See, we brothers think we’re the protectors, that we decide what’s up and what’s down. That we have all the answers. Trouble is, sometimes they think that way too. Way I see it, if you want my opinion?”

I nod, to show that I do. I value his input as much, if not more, than anyone’s.

“Well here it is. Stevie’s handicapped, no other way of looking at it. She’s limited as to what is in her power to do. I suspect it broke her to leave you, but she was persuaded it was in hers, and your best interest to go. What would happen if she just agreed not to testify? Jokers walk free, but she’d still remain a target. She has to go ahead and put them away, she’s been through too much shit to step back now.”

He’s right. “Even if she puts them away, she could still have their sights set on her.” I don’t add we all know what can be achieved even from behind bars.

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