Page 93 of Devil's Due

Pal’s got more. “In her view her only option is to start anew once again. She’s already left her family behind. My guess is that leaving you will be killing her, but she’s got guts and will do what she has to do whatever the personal cost. She left herfamily, Beef. She’s wrenched herself away before, probably was no easier leaving you.”

“I was going to go with her,” I tell what not all of them know. “Turn in my patch, accept whatever beatdown I was given. I wanted to be there for her.”

Instead of outrage, my admission makes them go quiet. Surprisingly it’s Pyro, who I’d thought was disinterested, who’s first to respond. “It seems you don’t have a choice, Brother. You feel that much for her, put her above your loyalty to the club? Then you can’t turn your back on her now. She means too much to you.”

“But we’re not letting you go,” Thunder steps in. “Beatdown or not, know you too well, Beef. You might not have sat around this table long, but you live and breathe the club. What we need to do is find Stevie, and a way for you to have both. Satan’s Devils don’t walk away when the going gets hard.”

“Going gets hard?” I echo incredulously. “Impossible, more like what if the Wretched Soulz revoke our charter? I can’t be responsible for that.”

“No.” Demon appears to think he’s let everyone else speak for too long. “You can’t. But you can be responsible for your ol’ lady. Wretched Soulz would respect that.”

“What if she puts the Warped Jokers away?” I shake my head.

Hellfire has been quiet, thoughtful. Now it’s his turn to speak. “The worry has been that the Wretched Soulz don’t want the feds to get greedy. They take out one club, might set their sights on more. Seems to me, if we, and that’s the big ‘we’ including the dominant, are seen to be backing the Warped Jokers, we’re only confirming we turn a blind eye to, and support those committing, criminal activities. If, on the other hand, we come down on the side of right, feds got no reason to dig deeper to see if our blood runs the same.”

I have a new respect for Hellfire. He might be onto something.

Demon’s eyes sharpen as he looks at his father. “I’ll talk to RIP. You’ve made a good case, Hell. If we can get the Wretched Soulz to revoke the Warped Jokers’ charter rather than ours, it could send a message they’re out on their own, on the inside as well as out.”

If that works, Stevie might be safe.She might be able to return to her old life. But would that be with me, or back with her folks? Could she just step back into a life she left?

It’s Pal who seems able to read my mind. “If you love her, Beef, really love her. You’ll want what’s best for her.”

His words make me feel selfish. Here I am thinking about my loss without giving a moment to think about hers.Do I love her?Her image floats in front of my eyes. Her voice echoes in my ears. Her courage, her ability to do so much more than I ever imagined. Her bravery, her independence, the way I feel when I’m inside her, or simply holding her, breathing in her smell, the way she makes me feel, all comes to mind.

Placing my hand over my heart, I give them the answer. “I feel her, in here.” My fist taps my chest. “I’ve been looking for something, didn’t realise I’d found it. Yeah, Pal,” I raise my chin toward him, “I love her.” Then my voice hardens. “And I’m fuckin’ scared shitless what’s happening to her. Need to know she’s alright. Need to know Lennox is doing right by her.” I let my heartfelt words sink in, then, aware I’m taking over but unable to stop myself, I start issuing orders. “Cad, get together with Mouse and find out who the hell found the information on Max’s tracker. Prez, you meet with the Wretched Soulz. I’ll get onto Drummer, see if I can locate Devil—Jason Deville—he’s a consultant. Works with the feds but has been on our side before. He may be able to find shit out we can’t.”

Demon’s mouth is quirked. “You quite finished, Brother?”

I feel my cheeks burn. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” he grins. “Seems like Beef here has issued instructions. Looks like a number of us have been assigned work. The rest of you, anything you can think of, any trace you can find of Lennox’s car, anything that might help…”

“We’ll be on it, Prez,” Thunder confirms.

“Right. Let’s find our brother’s woman and bring her home.”

Chapter Thirty-Three

Leaving church, I find Dan waiting for me outside the room. He shifts a little awkwardly and obviously has something to say. I raise my chin to encourage him.

“Didn’t want to speak up in there, but just wanted to say, Beef, anything I can do to help, just holler.”

Another jerk of my chin, this time in appreciation. “You’re not a prospect now, Dan.”

A quick grin. “I know. Still seems odd. Finding my place, you know?”

Prospecting’s so far in my rearview I’d almost forgotten what it was like to first sit at the table. Now I dredge through my memory and remember. Yeah, sure, first it’s elation at now having a seat at the table, but then it’s a bit disconcerting as you’re not quite sure where you fit.

He’s offered, I’ll accept. “I’m going to call Drummer. See if we can dig up some leads within the feds. You wanna sit in?”

He’s eager. “Sure.”

I look back into the meeting room, now deserted. “Seems as quiet a place as any.”

When he follows me inside, I take the phone I’d collected from the box outside the room, stare into it until it recognises my features, then click on a contact and set it on the table.

“Whaddyawant, Beef?”

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