Page 21 of Devil's Dilemma

I’ll just have to convince him this could work. I’m not getting any younger, and my biological clock is ticking faster than his.

Breathing a deep breath, I return to the bedroom to see Skull exactly where I left him, with the same angry expression on his face.

He looks up as I enter. “Fuckin’ sorry, babe. I totally forgot.”

His ire is directed at himself, not at me. “I should have reminded you.” I take some of the blame, to which he just nods.I’m not totally exonerated.Moving closer, I take his hand. “What will be, will be, Skull. You and me, we’re together aren’t we? If there’s a result of the carelessness today, we’ll cope.”

“There’s the mornin’-after pill,” he offers, suggesting he’s been doing some thinking.

“You’d want me to take that?”

“You wouldn’t?” He seems surprised I haven’t jumped at the chance. “Ain’t a thing at all at the moment, babe. That shit would just make sure it stayed that way.”

“You don’t want a baby with me?” I go still.

“Not what I’m saying. All I think is that now is not a good time.” His hands swipe at his hair, pushing it back from his face.

“When is?” I ask, pragmatically. “I love you, Skull. I’d love our baby. In nine months, in a year, two years from now. I’m not getting any younger, I’m not some flighty young girl.” Then I remember he isn’t as old as me, most times now that’s something I forget. “Are you saying it’s too soon for you to be tied down?” Suddenly I’m the one who’s angry, thinking he might have been leading me on. “Are you saying you don’t want me to be your old lady? Because, if you are, I’d rather know now. Before I get involved any deeper.”

I start putting on my clothes.

“What are you doing?” he asks, sharply.

“Getting dressed and going home.” I choke back the sob that arises.

“No! You can’t do that!” He’s off the bed, and soon we’re having a tug of war with my jeans. “Mel, I need time to get my head around this. Didn’t see myself as a dad, or not so soon, anyway. But if you don’t want to take precautions, we’ll let the cards fall where they will. I’ll deal, okay?”

Do I want him to deal?The expression on my face must be a window to my thoughts.

“Fuck, I’m saying everything wrong, aren’t I?” Allowing me custody of my jeans, he again rubs his hands through his hair. “It’s a shock, that’s all. Never thought I’d be careless like that. You want the pill? We’ll get it. You want to take the chance? I’ll be behind you all the way. Whatever you want, Mel.”

“What doyouwant, Skull? Do you really want a relationship and all that entails?”

“I want to claim you. Told you that, so yeah, I want it all. A relationship, which would probably include a kid or two further down the line. Just a shock that it may be sooner rather than later.”

I feel relieved that he does see us together. “It’s highly unlikely that I’m pregnant, Skull. But if I am, I don’t want to do anything about it.” I don’t know why. I’ve no real feelings one way or another, always thought the woman should have the choice. But if fate has stepped in and decided now is my time, I don’t want to do anything to prevent it.

I wouldn’t even have predicted my reaction had anyone asked me.

Children are a blessing in any relationship, doesn't matter how they are conceived. Out of one? A totally different picture. But I’ve a man who’s promised he’s going to be there for me.

Again, his head bows into his hands, but when he looks up, he’s smiling. “Okay. Let’s let things ride. You’re pregnant? That would be amazing. Yeah, this would have happened at some point. Just a bit earlier than I expected.”

“And from now on, you’ll be careful?” I’d rather a pregnancy was planned. I suspect the chances that one mistake would bear fruit are highly unlikely.

“You don’t need to ask.”

Chapter Eight

Melissa

That first evening, while Skull was at work, I am thrown right into the thick of things with the other old ladies. The whores, I notice, keep their distance.

I’m entranced by the kitchen which, it appears, has for many years been Jeannie’s domain. I’m informed that even while Hellfire was the prez, his old lady, Moira, rarely came to the club, so Jeannie had become the de facto head old lady. Not that there were so many of them then, just her, Moira and Sindy. Jay and Vi have only joined the club recently.

Jeannie’s had the kitchen fitted out so she can cook easily for all the members, and there’s an industrial-sized oven the size of which I hadn’t seen before. My eyes gleam as I look at it.

“Anytime you want, hon, feel free to use it. I suck at desserts and cakes, and many here have a sweet tooth. You want to cook that shit? You’re welcome to do it.” Seeing my interest, she opens cupboards and drawers, showing me that the place is well stocked with every item of equipment I could wish for.

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