Page 35 of Devil's Dilemma

Chapter Twelve

Melissa

Something was up.Something they didn’t want me to know about. Do they have any idea why Skull disappeared?

If they do, they’re doing better than I.

My period should have arrived yesterday, it didn’t. I’ve had no tell-tale cramps, cravings or water retention that I’ve come to expect in the days before I’m due. On the way to work today, I headed down to the pharmacy and bought a pregnancy test. I’d wanted to use it with Skull beside me. If we were starting out on this new journey, I wanted it to be together. As I’m normally regular as clockwork, I’m starting to think that test will be redundant, just confirmation of something deep down inside I already know.

I’m pregnant.

Or, maybe I’m not? Maybe not knowing where Skull could have gone has mucked up my cycle. But it was only today I’d started to worry, and even then, had been more annoyed at his club for keeping him away when I’d expected him home. It was only when I found out they knew nothing about his disappearance that I became distressed.

Where is he?

I love him. I’d know deep down inside if he was dead, wouldn’t I? My own heart would stop beating.

His club doesn’t know where he is.Could he have lied? Could he have shut me up with those words,club business, knowing it was the one thing he could have said which would stop further questions?

The test on the counter taunts me.Should I find out for certain?If I’m not, that would be one less worry on my mind. Conversely, a positive result could be a comfort, if Skull has really gone, he may have left part of himself behind.

He can’t be dead.But what other explanation is there for him staying away from me, and from his club?

I stuff my hand into my mouth and bite down hard with my teeth in an effort not to cry. Even if it’s just me, I’ve got to be strong. Can’t break down.

My phone rings. I pick it up fast. It’s Beth.

“Hey, Melissa. You okay? Why did you need the afternoon off? I told them you’d been sick.”

I could tell Beth.She’s my friend, she’d be around like a shot to comfort me.

But what could I tell her?My man, my biker, the person I expected to spend the rest of my life with has done exactly what had held me back at the start. He’s gotten fed up with an overweight, older woman, found a newer model, and had moved out.

Okay, so that’s just supposition. Is it easier to think I’ve been abandoned than to imagine Skull losing his life? Neither thought brings any relief.

In the end, I tell her nothing. “Beth, it’s actually the truth. I was sick, didn’t explain earlier as I couldn’t stay out of the bathroom long enough.”

“Oh, Melissa. Do you need anything? Shall I come around? Is it something you’ve eaten?”

“No, and no, Beth. I think I’ve caught a tummy bug or something. Don’t want you to catch it. But can you tell them at work? I don’t think I’ll be in tomorrow, and maybe not Friday.” But I hope to be. I hope I’ll get news, an explanation. Or, best of all, see Skull walking through the doorway. “I’ve got to go, Beth. Nature’s calling… again.”

My excuse has her ending the call quickly, with just a few words, “Feel better soon.”

Light dims, evening arrives. I flick on the light automatically but see nothing it illuminates. Instead my mind goes over and over the words Skull spoke on Sunday morning. But no matter how I try to analyse his final phrases, there was nothing, no warning, no indication he wouldn’t return.

He’d expected to come back, hadn’t he?

Of course I was concerned when he hadn’t, but I hadn’t allowed myself to really worry until I’d gone to the club for the explanation. Instead, I found what Skull had told me had been a lie.

Where is he? What is he doing?

He said he loved me.Only death would keep him from coming home.

No, no, no, no, no.I can’t afford to think like that. I can’t imagine I’ll be bringing up a fatherless baby. Can’t, just, can’t.

I honestly couldn’t tell how long I’ve been just sitting, with thoughts going around and around my brain. I’m startled when at last I hear a motorcycle engine.

Skull?

---