Page 58 of Devil's Dilemma

Mom looks to Dad, then me. She places her hand over my heart. “What do you feel in here, Melissa?”

I draw in a deep breath. My eyes flick to hers. “At first I refused to believe it. But as time goes on, I’ve accepted he’s gone. I have to, or else I can’t move on. It’s hard, Mom, but I need to be strong for me and the baby. No point hanging onto an impossible dream. I won’t be seeing Skull again. I know it.”

Dad doesn’t seem to know what to say. He paces the room, shaking his head. Finally, he draws to a halt in front of me. “Skull dragged you into that motorcycle club…”

“The club didn’t have anything to do with him going missing. And he dragged me, as you put it, into a family who’ve given me so much support over these past few weeks. They’re not criminals, Dad. They’re as hurt about Skull being gone as I am. It’s been good to grieve together.”

“Are you still going to consort with them? Now that he’s no longer there?”

I shrug. Pyro, I’m certain, will stay a friend. Vi, Jay and Steph too. As for the rest of the club, whatever they say now, I can’t help but think but as time goes on and the memory of Skull begins to fade, any responsibility toward me will disappear along with it. So I’m truthful in my response.

“I’ve made friends, Dad, good ones. I’ll keep those up. But I won’t be part of the club any longer.”

“I’m just glad someone was there for her, Rufus,” Mom chides him, gently. “Would rather it had been us she’d come to, but I can understand. They were the ones who were out searching.”

“I’d have spoken to the police…”

“They’ve done that too, dear. I doubt there’s more that anyone could do. Now Melissa needs to think of herself, and that grandchild of ours she’s carrying.”

Mom turns the conversation back to womanly things with a genuine interest and growing excitement in my news. Dad gives a grim nod, realising continuing talking about Skull won’t bring my man home, or provide any more answers than those I’ve already given.

He leaves the room.

It’s a weight off of my mind that they know. I’d hated keeping such a big thing from them. Over the course of the weekend, Mom offered for me to move to Denver and live with them, but I’ve got my house, job, friends, and, for now, the club back in Pueblo, so I didn’t give it any serious consideration. Her offer to come and stay with me after the birth was gratefully appreciated and accepted. What do I know about looking after a baby?

Back home my house is quiet, and my rejection of my parents offer seems perhaps hasty. But telling myself things will get better in time, I resume my routine, determined I can do this by myself.

Not that I’m totally alone. I have become used to the sound of motorcycles along the road outside, sometimes stopping, sometimes driving on.

I begin to settle in my house, the ghost of Skull becoming easier to live with. Though they try to persuade me, I don’t visit the compound, fearing it would raise his spectre all over again, when I believe I’m slowly coming to terms with my loss. It still hurts, but sometimes I can get through the day without tears.

When it becomes clear I’m not returning to the club, Pyro begins to visit regularly. To my surprise, the prospects start tidying my neglected yard, and doing handyman jobs around the house. I’ve not actually got them painting the nursery, it’s still too early for that, but they have cleared some of the junk I have stored and moved furniture which would have been too heavy for me.

Violet, Jayden and Steph visit regularly, and even Mo’s popped around. I’ve resumed baking, and now usually have a tub of something or other for them to take back with them. I’m told everyone is grateful.

I go to work, and gradually the topic of Skull going missing thankfully is dropped. I’ve offers of help from Beth and the others, even Carter offering assistance if I need anything.

I know I’m lucky to have so many people looking out for me.

If I wasn’t pregnant, maybe I wouldn’t be able to cope as well. I miss Skull with every fibre of my being, and I wish he was still here with me, but he’s not. It helps that he left me with a new life growing inside. Something to live for, a new life to love.

I’m reminded every day, from sore breasts to the additional urges to pee, and now, to the growing evidence of a different shape to my stomach.

“You’re starting to show,” Beth points out one day as we walk to our cars after work.

“I know,” I say, proudly, stretching my top over my bump to show it off, when normally I’d hide the size of my stomach.

“When do you find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

“Next week.” I grin. I don’t know who’s more excited, Pyro or me. He’s still determined to be with me every step of the way. “Thursday.”

“Oh, I won’t be here.”

I snap my fingers. “Of course, not. You’ll be living it up in Vegas. I forgot.”

She jumps up and down with excitement. “I can’t wait. I’ve never been and always wanted to.”

“Me too,” I laugh back, her joy is infectious. “All the sights and sounds of the strip. Not that I’m jealous.” I pout.

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