Page 70 of Devil's Dilemma

“This is something I’ll have to do, if only to get the paperwork filled out.”

“We can do that through lawyers…”

Her eyebrow rises defiantly. “A lawyer wouldn’t spit in his face.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Melissa

How can love turn to hatred in a blink of an eye?

When Skull disappeared, he’d broken my heart. When I thought he was dead, I felt like a part of myself had died along with him. I knew I’d always love the father of my child, who, I’d convinced myself would have returned if he’d been able to.

When I found out he was alive, I should have been happy. I wasn’t. What he’d caused both myself and my unborn child to suffer, hadn’t been deserved. He didn’t leave in ignorance of how I felt about him, he must have known how much him disappearing would hurt.

Had I really loved him at all? Instead, had I been flattered by the attentions of a younger man? Allowed myself to be taken in by lies and deceit? The man I thought I knew would never have just left me like that. Maybe I’d been in love with the persona he’d portrayed and never knew the real man at all.

I’d felt no relief knowing he was alive.

Even if I allowed Skull to play any part in his life, there was always the possibility he’d turn his back on on my baby too. My baby deserves a dad he can depend on, a reliable man. A man who steps up when he has no need to. A man who provides a shoulder to lean on when it’s required. A man who’s good company, a man who shares in both the pain and pleasure. A man who cries when he sees his son for the first time on an ultrasound screen.

My son deserves a man like Pyro to be his dad.

Pyro’s fingers are drawing circles on my arm, an action meant to be comforting. His closeness makes me blurt out, “I wish you were this baby’s father.”

He stills.

God, I shouldn’t have spoken my thoughts aloud. I wonder how on earth I can take those words back.

“I do too. Kid deserves a man who doesn’t stray. You’re right, we need to deal with Skull. Get him out of the picture for good. You want to take your own swing at him, reckon you’re entitled. Happy to play the role of the kid’s dad, darlin’. Think that’s what I’m already doing.”

I notice he’s avoiding the implications of what I’d said. While he may be a dad for the baby, he’s not saying anything about being a husband for me. We don’t have that kind of relationship. Dads live separate to kids all the time. I can’t ruin what we’ve got by wanting more.

Pyro sighs deeply. “If you really want to go to Vegas, I’ll come with you, okay?”

“Am I awful to say I was hoping you would?”

“Nah, Mel. You and me. We’re a team.”

I think of the practicalities. I need to take time off from my job. Well, I’ve got some vacation and sick days built up. That will have to do. Thinking about the steps that I’ll need to be taking reminds me of something else.

“Ro,” I start, hesitantly, “I don’t want to be alone tonight. Can I stay here?”

“Sure,” he agrees fast. “In here, or Skull’s room? I’m happy to use Skull’s. I’ll understand why you don’t want to.”

“No, I meant here with you.”

He draws in his breath. Then turns on his side to face me, his hand coming up and resting on my face. “Mel, sweetheart. I fuckin’ love being your friend. I fuckin’ love looking out for you and the kid. I don’t’ want anything to fuck that up.”

Neither do I. I don’t want to say anything that would mean I lose his friendship and support. With this man at my side I can take on the world, without him, I don’t know what I’d do.Friends. That’s all he wants. It will have to be enough.

I backtrack. “I didn’t mean it how it sounded.”

“I know you didn’t, darlin’.” His eyes stare into mine. “I’m trying so fuckin’ hard. But it’s not easy being around you. You, me, sleeping together in the same bed? Not fair on me, and not on you.”

“Why’s it not fair on me, Ro?” I’m confused. “Or for you?”

“Because I could fuck everything up.” He rears up, leaving me feeling bereft. He stands and paces. “Friends. I want us to be friends, Mel.”

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